‘Seaweed’ Is Now Considered A Slur, According To Environmentalists

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It’s a good thing AI is going to take over the world soon and we’ll all be living in virtual reality headsets, because pretty soon we won’t be able to use any words.

Taking a page from PETA’s book that words like “bullpen” needs to stop being said because apparently its offensive to bulls, we are now going after seaweed. Yes, seaweed.

On Friday, BBC news was interviewing an environmentalist about the ongoing seaweed problem that has continued to plague much of the southwestern coast for months.

Seaweed apparently isn’t seaweed and needs to be called marine algae. (Photo by Paul Hennessy/Anadolu Agency via Getty Images)


However, when the Radio 4 “Today” anchor used the term “seaweed” to describe what it was, the elitist ‘naturalist’ Chris Packham said that term is offensive and asked the anchor to refrain from using it.

“I’ll politely last ask you to mind your language. Can we call it marine algae rather than seaweed? The weed word puts it at an immediate disadvantage, doesn’t it?” Packham asked.

The anchor immediately apologized because he knows how important all those marine biologists tuning in are for the ratings.

“Marine algae” everyone. Just rolls right off the tip of your tongue, doesn’t it?

As one would expect with someone who is so defensive over words like seaweed, Packham than started lambasting local residents for their complaints over the abundant amount of seawe … I mean marine algae … that has been covering their shores. His solution? Just “get a grip,” people!

“So you know, let’s get a grip and, and tolerate nature. People love nature in the UK when it’s not an inconvenience to them, but the minute that they are slipping over a few forms of algae, everyone’s up in arms,” Packham argued.

And in a true, holier-than-thou manner, Packham said that it doesn’t matter if you are being affected by the annoying algae situation, because it could always be worst. You could be in Canada dealing with the wildfires, Packham said.

I’m sorry but if I’m the anchor, I’m cutting Packham off right there and arguing that logic doesn’t work because there is ALWAYS something that is worse off. No matter what, someone, somewhere is in a tougher situation than someone else.

Environmentalist Chris Packham argued over the term seaweed on BBC. (Photo by Neil Mockford/GC Images)


What makes the whole thing actually pretty hilarious, though, is that Packham himself even referred to the algae as seaweed later in the interview! You can’t make it up! Funny how it always comes back around, no?

Also, I think we should inform Mr. Packham that technically — or, actually, scientifically — he is still wrong by calling seaweed “marine algae.” There are actually different colors and types of it, so if we’re going down this path we might as well use the full, correct wording which includes: Rhodophyta (red), Phaeophyta (brown) and Chlorophyta (green) macroalgae.

I’m sorry, but if SEAWEED isn’t allowed, then how about you ‘SEA’ YOUR WAY OUT? (Nailed that joke, you’re welcome).

Written by Mike Gunzelman

Mike “Gunz” Gunzelman has been involved in the sports and media industry for over a decade. He’s also a risk taker - the first time he ever had sushi was from a Duane Reade in Penn Station in NYC.

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