Apple Debuts Crazy Expensive New Goggles, Apple Vision Pro, Which We’ll All Probably Own In 10 Years

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The next jump in technological advancement is here, and it costs a crap ton of money.

Apple unveiled its new augmented reality headset — the Apple Vision Pro — during the 2023 Worldwide Developers Conference.

While the ridiculously expensive gadget looks like the unofficial Mark of the Nerd, it’s a pretty bada** device.

New Apple Toy Is Here To Take Over The World

You can bet this thing will be worn around cities like AirPods by 2034. So check out the early look at the new device set to trigger society’s downfall…


With a digital HUD that can be worn anywhere (mockery included), the Apple Vision Pro headset lets users perform the same tasks from an iPhone in a real-time display that interacts with the world around them.

(NOTE: Virtual vs. augmented reality: virtual is a complete digital recreation of an environment or item, while augmented reality enhances the perception of real-life objects.)

Impressive and frightening at the same time, the Apple Vision Pro goggles are destined to be the new IT thing when it launches in early 2024.

It will be priced at a modest $3,499 per unit, so sign up for those extra credit cards now.

Apple Vision Pro Is A Game-Changer

The Vision Pro’s description reads (via Apple):

Vision Pro creates an infinite canvas for apps that scales beyond the boundaries of a traditional display and introduces a fully three-dimensional user interface controlled by the most natural and intuitive inputs possible — a user’s eyes, hands, and voice.

Featuring visionOS, the world’s first spatial operating system, Vision Pro lets users interact with digital content in a way that feels like it is physically present in their space.

The breakthrough design of Vision Pro features an ultra-high-resolution display system that packs 23 million pixels across two displays, and custom Apple silicon in a unique dual-chip design to ensure every experience feels like it’s taking place in front of the user’s eyes in real time.

The freaky new goggles will make staying entertained on the internet much more accessible, thus making ignoring your significant other easier.

With an instant face-to-face connection to fellow Apple product owners and analysis of its user’s biometric data, Vision Pro will become the world’s foremost tool for tracking and being tracked. Which is surely not in Apple’s interest …

Just imagine a beta version of the Ready, Player One devices, which led to a decrepit, catatonic American society with all its flashy colors, sights and sites.

While this Apple AR headset has the same potential as FTX or Crystal Pepsi to flop, it’s a fully realized version of what Mark Zuckerberg envisioned for his Meta project. So suck it, Facebook.

Just don’t try to think of the many ways a device like this will be sabotaged by hackers or men who haven’t felt the touch of a woman in years.

Here’s What Twitter Thought of the Apple Vision Pro:

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Written by Alejandro Avila

Alejandro Avila lives in Southern California and previously covered news for the LA Football Network. Jeopardy expert and grumpy sports fan that has watched every movie.

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