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I’ll never forget the day O.J. Simpson hopped on Twitter. It was like Christmas, Halloween, and Administrative Professionals Day rolled into one. I didn’t think he’d be able to handle the raw power that comes with being able to speak one’s mind sans filter. Most of us, myself included, figured he’s slip up within a few weeks and confess to something that rhymes with “Shmouble shmurder.”
I anxiously awaited every video in hopes of hearing that admission or behind-the-scenes stories from the set of The Naked Gun. With every “Hey Twitter world, it’s me, yours truly…” I thought I was inching toward finally getting what I had clicked “follow” for.
That did not happen.
Instead, we’ve all been treated to hours’ worth of O.J. fantasy football takes and videos of him hitting the links (which is probably the safest thing for him to be hitting).
People Wanted The Juice’s Take On The Murdaugh Trial
Now, with the nation’s attention squarely on the Alex Murdaugh trial, people wanted to hear the central figure of one trial of the century’s take on another trial of the century (there have already been like six of those and we’re not even a quarter of the way through this century).
“Hey Twitter world, it’s me; your’s truly,” he began, like an aging, once-slick radio DJ. “A lot of people have been asking me about this Alex Murdaugh trial. I don’t know why they think I’m an expert…”
I don’t get it either. What would a Heisman Trophy-winning running back-turned-actor have to add to the conversation about a high-profile double-murder trial?
Oh, yeah… the whole… right, right, right…
OJ knows full well why people wanted to hear his take. This is the biggest play out of the OJ handbook. Remember, in the eyes of the law, he technically never killed one person let alone two. He always plays coy and tries to come off like a regular dude.
Here’s my linguistic reconstruction of OJ using this tactic:
“Murder? I don’t know anything about murder. I’m just a regular guy who one time had someone write a book for him about why he didn’t kill his wife and a waiter, but how he would’ve done had he been that murderer. Just a regular guy…”
I exaggerated a little, but you get it.
Fortunately for all of us, OJ couldn’t help but spit a few takes on the trial unfolding in South Carolina.
OJ Thinks Murdaugh Could Get Acquitted
“I gotta admit; when he took the stand, the guy who’s a habitual liar,” Simpson explained. “I did watch — when the trial first started — I watched him take the stand and I thought it was probably a mistake because the guy is an admitted liar and it’s hard for me to think he could be on the stand five, six, seven, eight days without lying.”
“Question is what did he lie about? Lying and stealing money is a little different than murder.”
OJ is right. That expertise of his is showing. Lying and stealing money is different than murder. Stealing your own sports memorabilia from a Las Vegas hotel room is also different than murder.
The Juice — who went loose back in 2017 and is no longer on probation as of 2021 — said that he thinks Murdaugh will be acquitted, which is probably his favorite word.
“I wouldn’t be surprised if he beats this case,” OJ said. He does however think that Murdaugh will be headed to the clink for all the money he stole.
“I got nine to thirty-three years — thirty-three years! — because I caught some guys trying to sell my stolen property and I yelled at ’em,” which is OJ’s version of events that lead to his conviction for the 2007 robbery. (He spent the last third of the three-minute video talking about how he got screwed by the criminal justice system. Yes, Orenthal James Simpson says he was screwed by the criminal justice system).
Simpsons also said that they should look into Murdaugh and possible connections to the death of his housekeeper.
Things are winding down in the Murdaugh trial, but if Court TV needs any new talking heads, I think I know a guy.
Follow on Twitter: @Matt_Reigle