OJ Simpson Tells Elon Musk He's Dying To Be Verified And I Would Listen

OJ Simpson wants Elon Musk to know he would very much like to be verified on Twitter, and I, for one, would listen.

'The Juice' sent out one of his famous Twitter videos late Friday morning, begging Twitter's newest boss to give him the coveted blue check mark once and for all.

Hello, Twitter World!

Elon Musk better make time for OJ Simpson during takeover

I don't know about you, Elon. But if I see that notification pop up from OJ Simpson, I am tearing down the place until I find the person in charge of that stuff. Tell them to drop everything and make it happen.

Musk is doing a wonderful job of pissing off the left today on Twitter - seriously, that place has become a crime scene since he took over last night - but I'm not sure you want to get on OJ's bad side Day 1 on the job.

He's got a point, too. There are a ton of OJ wannabees on the Twitter streets, and we don't need any copycats running around. It's dangerous and could get our guy falsely accused if what the imposter says doesn't fit. We don't need that.

Twitter is supposed to be a place of authenticity now, and we want the real OJ.

The guy who starts every single video with 'Hey Twitter world, it's your truly,' ends it with 'I'm just saying,' and most likely gives us some sound fantasy football advice in between.

Elon Musk has a ton on his plate today, but - gun to my head - I think he gives in and verifies OJ by nightfall. It's time to take the gloves off and give the people what they want.

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Zach grew up in Florida, lives in Florida, and will never leave Florida ... for obvious reasons. He's a reigning fantasy football league champion, knows everything there is to know about NASCAR, and once passed out (briefly!) during a lap around Daytona. He swears they were going 200 mph even though they clearly were not.