NFL Scouting Combine, Tackling Christian McCaffrey, Horny Dogs, March Madness And Pepsi Peeps All In One

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Relax, I promise we’ll talk about men in tights running 40-yard dashes throughout Indy’s NFL Scouting Combine momentarily. But first, there’s something I have to get off my chest that’s been bothering me all week.

My family and I went skiing in western N.Y. over the weekend. Before you start judging, I’m not some rich asshole that “holidays” on the slopes. My skiing experience consists of four lifetime ski trips, all of which took place within the last 18 months, none that lasted more than two days, and all have been within a three hour drive of my home base, Ohio. Also, my ski attire consists of nothing other than Amazon brand gear that is ordered and delivered within 48 hours (Prime member here, no big deal, what’s up Bezos?).

Now that that’s out of the way… I came across something that left me dumbfounded while I was out there doing my best Picabo Street on the bunny (beginner) hills. A pair of skiers whom I surmise were in their mid-to-late 30s, doing french fries and pizza throughout the snow in jeans.

Yeah, the type of Wranglers that Brett Favre (don’t sue me!) wears alongside a beat up Chevy. How is this even possible? Even if you don’t end up ass over elbows every third time down the mountain, like me, you’re still finishing your day with wet ass and ankles. No debate. Seems like common knowledge. Yet, this pair chose to shred in the bottom portion of a Canadian tuxedo.

Jeans!

For the life of me, I can’t figure out their thinking. Boots, skis, coats, googles, – they all check out. But somewhere along the line they decide to that the cherry on their wardrobe sundae should be denim. I don’t get it.

If you want to take a shot at convincing me why stonewashed is the way to go while skiing, I’m all ears. Email me at anthony.farris@outkick.com or Tweet me, @OhioAF.

Alright, now that we’ve cleansed the palate, let’s pour ourselves (another) stiff drink and talk NFL Draft Combine, as promised.

NFL Scouting Combine Greatest Hits

I’m a Browns fan (and that’s the least of my problems), so admittedly, I’m not as giddy over this year’s draft because Cleveland gave away a boat load of draft picks in order to ensure they’d have Bill Cosby under center for the foreseeable future. But most NFL fans are dialed into Indianapolis this week in an effort to see which just-out-of-college bench press superstar is going to save their franchise.

The on-field work is officially underway, so I thought I’d give Nightcaps readers a look back at some of the best Combine moments in recent memory.

No one’s ever seen this pic of a recently retired QB before, right?

Tom Brady was bulked up for the NFL Scouting Combine.

Chris Jones is now a Super Bowl champion. But before he was drafted, he unintentionally let the horse out of the barn while blazing through his 40.

Chris Jones could not be contained.

Deion Sanders was blown away by a white guy’s speed. Let’s be honest, we all were.

Troy Apke got Deion’s attention.

Former NFL strength coach John Lott was arguably the most entertaining person on or off the field at the Combine for years. The reason, he enthusiastically cheered on those participating in the bench press. And after a player posted a particularly good number, he’d yell “SHOOT THIS THANG!”

John Lott, certified machine.

And what would the combine be without media members mentioning St. Elmo’s famous shrimp cocktail sauce? Peter King’s done entire columns on the appetizer (that might not be entirely accurate, but it sure feels like it). You can’t officially cover the NFL unless you talk about the shrimp cocktail before, during, and after the week in Indy. Case in point.

All about the cocktail sauce.

Now that we’ve mentioned both Deion Sanders and benching, check out Colorado’s newest pancake maker.

What I’m (Not) Drinking This Week

Last week I shared my excitement for McDonald’s seasonal Shamrock Shake. I can confirm that I came, saw, and conquered said shake. And it was just as delightful as it was last year and the year before that. This week I come to you with a message to stay away from a different seasonal beverage.

Yep, that’s Peeps Pepsi and it tastes just as bad as you’d imagine, only worse. Trust me. My kids wanted to give this a go and since I’m the World’s Best Dad (I have the hat that proves it), I agreed to a 12 pack (go big or go home). I was done after one sip. If ever you want to punish your mouth, this is about as bad as it gets.

Grounding Christian McCaffrey

Speaking of punishment, Christian McCaffrey’s old man wasn’t down with CMC getting tackled by his jersey when he was growing up.

That punishment would stink. You know what else stinks? Every youth gymnastics center. We talked about this last week and I asked readers to let me know if anything else brought a comparable STANK. Plenty of readers chimed in, and I think I’ve gotta most agree with our guy Jack, whose nostrils took a beating for years.

Memphis Grizzlies Pregame Fit

Grizzlies forward Desmond Bane channeled his inner Stone Cold Steve Austin ahead of last night’s game with the Lakers. He finished with 16 points in a Grizz win. What do we think, good look, or nah?

Joey Votta Was Built For Pitch Clocks

Not only is Reds first baseman a certified alien guy, he’s also readymade for MLB’s new new pitch clock rules. My man spends more time in box than Nick Cannon.

@brwalkoff Votto was ahead of his time 🫡 (h/t CodifyBaseball/Twitter) #baseball #springtraining #mlb #mlbtheshow #joeyvotto #pitchers #baseballlife #baseballszn ♬ original sound – brwalkoff

Good thing it’s still Spring Training. Obviously both pitcher and catcher have some things to work out before Opening Day.

@deegotti619 #fyp #fypシ #fypシ゚viral #baseball #arizona ♬ original sound – 95-Til-Infinity

Hump Day

I almost forgot today is Wednesday, which is hump day. This dog got the message and so did it’s owners.

Interesting stance from Doc Rivers.
Get this boy on scholarship.

It’s not just Wednesday, it’s the first day of a new month. Bring on #MarchMadness!

Visiting The Jersey (Are You) Sure?

You know the drill by now. I wake up every morning craving the site of odd sports jerseys in unique places. Fortunately for you other sickos out there, I share what I find. This week I give to you Portland Trail Blazers Nick Van Exel and Chicago Bears bust Curtis Enis. If you stumble upon similar eye candy, send my way: anthony.farris@outkick.com or @OhioAF.

How do we not yet have a documentary on the ’90s “Jail Blazers?” What are we doing Netflix? ESPN could use a new 30for30, right? What’s Bill Simmons doing with all that Ringer money? Someone needs to get this into production.

Are we still hitting the gym now that we’re into March or has the New Year’s resolution fizzled out like every other year? I know one particular woman might want to skip the public gym either way. There’s no way you can head back for combo curls and leg extensions after this move, right?

Give her credit though, at least she looked the part. It’s not like she was wearing a skin jacket or anything…

Dave’s Not A Fan

Hopefully you’ve enjoyed this run through #Nightcaps more than our guy Dave enjoys school.

Ok, that’s enough typing for me. These fingers are better used elsewhere (minds outta the gutter. Nah, on second thought, keep em there).

It’s Five O’Clock Somewhere

Before I head out, let’s think to ourselves W.W.B.R.D. (What Would Bob Ritchie Do)?

He’d have another drink.

Until next week, Bawitdaba-da bang-da-dang-diggy-diggy-diggy.

*OutKick’s Nightcaps is a daily column that runs weekdays around 4pm EST.

Follow along on Twitter: @OhioAF

Written by Anthony Farris

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