NBA Oreos Cost $40 (Plus Shipping) And We Don’t Even Have A Joke Here

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The NBA and Oreo must think we’re all morons.

Collaborations are big these days, For some reason, people love when two companies come together to give us a product we’re familiar with, but in a different color or with a logo on it.

In this instance, it’s the latter.

The NBA and Oreo have unveiled a lineup of cookies, with a special design for all 30 franchises.

Alright, we’ve got some Oreos slathered with chocolate, coated in sprinkles, and with NBA team logos printed on them. What could a dozen of these puppies run you?



Surely, it couldn’t be $24.99; no one is paying $2 per cookie.

Well, it’s none of those. It’s more

Those Oreos better detail my car and walk my dog.

Do They Think We’re Rubes?

Egad, man.

If you want to munch on your favorite NBA team’s logo, you’ll be paying around $3.33 per cookie, before shipping.

It’s been clear for years that the NBA doesn’t care about its fans what with its dealings in China and the growing trend of star players taking games off while fans spend their hard-earned money on expensive tickets to see those players.

But Oreos were supposed to be one of the good guys. A humble sandwich cookie that pairs with a cold glass of 2% and is the standard currency in elementary school lunchrooms across the nation.

However, in recent years, they’ve has started to go all Icarus on our collective asses, and it sure seems to me like their wax wings are starting to melt.

The only Oreos the world needs are the original and the Double Stuf. Frankly, I think the Double Stuf should be the standard and the original should be retired; its thin layer of chalky icing hoisted to the rafters at the Nabisco plant.

They must not have asked me because Oreo felt the need to start experimenting with flavors. I’ll give you mint, maybe peanut butter if I’m feeling generous. It has gotten completely out of hand. I’ve seen everything from coffee to watermelon to Swedish Fish in Oreo form.

Not My Oreos

The final straw came just last week when I came across a package of “Cookies and Cream” flavored Oreos. Allow me to translate that one for you: those are Oreo-flavored Oreos.

I suddenly became an adult man standing in the cookie aisle ranting about Oreos, griping about how they had gotten too big for their britches and how I wished Hydrox would return from the dead to knock them down a peg.

I was on the verge of getting everyone in that Publix on my side when my lovely girlfriend asked me to stop my soliloquy because I was “making a scene.”

Oreos used to be a cookie of the common man. A cookie for those of us that had outgrown Animal Crackers, but still thought Milano cookies were too highfalutin. They were the blue-collar cookie. The one’s you ate a couple of to cap off a good day, and a whole package of to combat a bad one.

We’re now moving in the direction of people shelling out the equivalent of a tank of gas for a compact sedan for a dozen Oreos because β€” hey, look! β€” these ones have Clippers logos on them!

Oreos β€” especially these NBA special edition cookies β€” are moving away from a simple treat to being a delicacy. One that you only afford to break out for company or on special occasions like weddings, bar mitzvahs, or when those involuntary manslaughter charges get dropped.

Follow on Twitter: @Matt_Reigle

Written by Matt Reigle

Matt is a University of Central Florida graduate and a long-suffering Philadelphia Flyers fan living in Orlando, Florida. He can usually be heard playing guitar, shoe-horning obscure quotes from The Simpsons into conversations, or giving dissertations to captive audiences on why Iron Maiden is the greatest band of all time.

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