Mother-Daughter Duo Recreates Texas Chainsaw Massacre By Chopping Off Dead Limbs And Selling Them

If you're in the market for some funeral home body parts from random dead people across the country, do I have a deal for you!

Better act quick, though, because this sale is set to end soon because the mastermind behind the whole thing is headed for prison.

Tough break.

Former Colorado funeral home director Megan Hess was sentenced to 20 years in federal prison Tuesday for dissecting 560 corpses and selling body parts without permission. Apparently, that's not allowed.

Who knew!?

Funeral home director sentenced to 20 years for selling body parts

The 46-year-old weirdo had apparently been operating this Texas Chainsaw Massacre business for years, pleaded guilty to fraud in July, and will also be joined in prison by her 69-year-old mother, Shirley Koch.

What did Shirley do wrong, you ask?

Well, not much. She was only apparently in charge of chopping off the heads of the dead bodies. No biggie.

"Hess and Koch used their funeral home at times to essentially steal bodies and body parts using fraudulent and forged donor forms," prosecutor Tim Neff said in a court filing. "Hess and Koch's conduct caused immense emotional pain for the families and next of kin."

The FBI was apparently first tipped off on the elaborate scheme - which prosecutors also called the most significant body parts cases in U.S. history - back in 2018, and raided the business.

I don't know what they found, but - again - watch Texas Chainsaw Massacre. I'd imagine it's VERY similar to that.

"Our sweet mother, they dismembered her," Erin Smith said, according to Reuters. Smith said the mother-daughter duo sold her own mom's her shoulders, knees and feet for profit.

"We don't even have a name for a crime this heinous."

Prosecutors argued that Hess defrauded relatives of the deceased by lying about cremations and by dissecting bodies and selling them without permission.

Evidently, she would just charge families $1,000 for cremations, and instead of actually cremating their kin, she instead mixed the bins with random other dead people.

Don't worry, though. Hess' lawyer said this is all unfair because Hess doesn't know better because she suffered some sort of traumatic brain injury when she was 18.

Yep. I reckon that'll do it!

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Zach grew up in Florida, lives in Florida, and will never leave Florida ... for obvious reasons. He's a reigning fantasy football league champion, knows everything there is to know about NASCAR, and once passed out (briefly!) during a lap around Daytona. He swears they were going 200 mph even though they clearly were not.