Kyle Larson Dumped After NASCAR Tantrum, Logano Calls Out Garbage, Bristol F-Bombs, Hooters Needs Chase, Tebow Sermon, Racy Easter Bunny
We started our NASCAR Easter Sunday with a dirty bunny picture, ended it with a dirty middle finger and then wreck, and mixed in a Tim Tebow sermon along the way.
I dare you to find a sport that covered that much ground yesterday! Ain't happening.
Judging by the stands at Bristol, not that many folks saw what was a pretty compelling automobile race Sunday night.
Yeah, it wasn't a great turnout, but when you slather one of NASCAR's most popular tracks with dirt, force a bunch of cars to race on it that aren't suited to run on dirt, and then schedule it for Easter Sunday night, you're sort of stacking the deck against you.
Oh, well. I enjoyed myself -- although I was on my couch with a beer (yep, beer, not Busch Light. They don't get the free pub right now, and you know why). Kyle Larson, on the other hand, was getting the finger and put in the wall by a head-hunting Ryan Preece.
Don't think 'ol Kyle particularly enjoyed his Easter evening. More on those two in a bit.
Elsewhere, Joey Logano got wrecked and needs to take out the trash, Hooters desperately needs Chase Elliott back, Chase Briscoe angered Ryan Blaney, Tim Tebow gave the pre-game prayer and Natalie Decker (allegedly) celebrated Easter Sunday in style.
How's all that for a lineup?!
Four tires, a couple gallons of Sunoco fuel and enough Clorox to get these dirt stains out, Monday Morning Pit-Stop -- the 'I Thought He'd Just Get The F--k Over It' edition -- Is LIVE!
Kyle Larson and Ryan Preece hate each other all of a sudden. (Photo by James Gilbert/Getty Images)
Kyle Larson calls Ryan Preece a little NASCAR you-know-what
And it rhymes with snitch!
OK, Kyle didn't actually use that word, but he did use another popular cuss word! (Good stuff starts at 1:30, but it's all worth your time).
Sort of love Kyle Larson's tone here. He's clearly trying to just laugh at the pain, and still can't quite understand why Ryan Preece -- who? -- was so damn mad.
Hilarious little jab at Preece sort of being a nobody, too. "Have you ever had any run-ins with him before?"
Not really -- we haven't really raced that much.
Translation: he stinks and is never up front ...
Until Sunday night, when they were both up front all night and couldn't stop dinging each other.
Joey Logano needs to take out the garbage
Didn't think Ryan Preece vs. Kyle Larson would be our next NASCAR rivalry, but here we are. It ain't exactly Earnhardt vs. Labonte at Bristol, but beggars can't be choosers.
Let's now check in with Joey Logano -- who won the Trucks race Saturday night and won this race a few years back.
Joey, good Easter?
And there was a TON of garbage Sunday night. We had cautions all damn race -- literally from start to finish.
Side note: it would've been a GREAT last lap had everyone not wrecked and brought out the caution, which I believe spared Christopher Bell.
Logano was caught up in an early wreck, and his night was donezo before it even got off the ground.
Thanks, Bubba!
We also had an insane Michael McDowell save, Denny Hamlin's car looked ridiculous at one point, Ryan Blaney got dumped and fake Chase Elliott (Josh Berry) got destroyed on the last lap.
Roll tape!
Ryan Blaney can't stop being wrecked this season
Feel like we talk about this every other week, but what a miserable year so far for Ryan Blaney.
At least he's got Hooters Gianna at home. Thanks GOD.
Blaney restarted on the front row late, and, as you just saw, got punted by Chase Briscoe. Blaney would finish 23rd, let out a sad 'wow' over the radio after the incident, and will most likely add Briscoe to his growing list of names on the Sh*t List.
At least that's what Chase is expecting.
Hooters desperately needs Chase Elliott back in NASCAR
Chin up, Rhino. You have Gianna! How can you be upset when you come home to that?!
Speaking of Hooters -- how great was that paint scheme for fake Chase Elliott last night. LOVE the Night Owl look, and it has to be frustrating as hell that Hooters wasted it.
And this ain't a knock on Berry -- he's actually done pretty damn well all things considered. But there's a reason Chase Elliott is voted Most Popular Driver every year and is one of the few in the garage who doesn't sweat sponsorship.
NASCAR needs him back ASAP, and -- oddly enough -- this Friday marks six weeks since his accident. Hendrick Motorsports vaguely hinted at that being somewhat of a goal for him to return a few weeks back, but I don't expect it to happen this weekend at Martinsville.
NASCAR needs Chase Elliott back. (Photo by Jared C. Tilton/Getty Images)
You need to brake A LOT there, and Chase's broken leg happens to be the brake leg. Not a great place to return. Looking at the schedule, I'd guess either the following week at Talladega or the next weekend at Dover. Purely a guess, though.
And yes, coming back from a broken leg to TALLADEGA seems weird on paper, but remember, this is a braking issue for Chase, and you don't brake at 'Dega.
Anyway, my point here was that Hooters deserves Chase in the car. And we deserve Hooters on this page.
I can at least give you that.
Tim Tebow gives Easter Sunday NASCAR sermon
Couple quickies as we head to Martinsville -- and they're both VERY different.
Let's start with one Tim Tebow, who joined the NASCAR fellas in Bristol to give an Easter Sunday sermon.
My guy. Love Tebow. Grew up a huge Tim Tebow fan, and he's still electric. I've never wanted to run through a brick wall more than after I hear Tim Tebow talk.
And hey, hey even joined Ricky Stenhouse Jr. for a little pregame prayer and guess where Ricky finished? Fourth.
Tim Tebow joins Ricky Stenhouse Jr. at Bristol.
Natalie Decker wishes NASCAR fans a very Happy Easter
Tebow ain't exaggerating about wanting to puke after a ride-a-long. I did one years ago over at Daytona, and let me tell you -- those G-forces destroy you on that first turn. You don't see it coming and then by the time you realize what's happening, you can't move.
It's wild. I thought I was gonna puke my brains out during the entire first lap. Leave Tim alone, losers.
OK, on to Martinsville. Here's maybe Natalie Decker getting very racy on her Patreon account. I say maybe because I'm obviously not paying $70 for this, but it made the rounds on Instagram yesterday so I assume it's her.
PS: is Patreon still a thing? Who knew. It was essentially OnlyFans before that exploded.
Anyway, off to Martinsville. I'm quite sure we'll get a couple middle-fingers and F-bombs there, too.
Just a hunch.