Bubba Wallace Needs To Be Fired, NASCAR Teammates Fight, Chase Elliott Gives Finger, Hooters Gianna Goes Cowgirl
It took a little over a month, but we finally had ourselves a good NASCAR race Sunday at COTA.
I know I know, Fontana was pretty good. But around here we don't grade on a curve. We need it all -- fights, yelling, crashing, good racin' and overly emotional drivers calling for their own firing.
And hey, thanks to Bubba Wallace, we got that last one, too!
More on OutKick fan favorite Bubba in a bit.
Along the way, we have so much to fit in I don't know that I have enough inches to do it (relax, it's an old print newspaper joke you animals).
Lets see, we have a pair of NASCAR teammates kicking and screaming after the race, Chase Elliott returned but he's still in Colorado, Ryan Blaney's Hooters girlfriend Gianna Tulio went cowgirl, and Jimmie Johnson came back to run exactly one lap.
Not great for Jimbo!
Four tires, some fuel and a new hood since Bubba Wallace punched his, Monday Morning Pit-Stop -- the 'The Race Will Never End But That's OK Because It's Actually Fun' edition -- is LIVE!
Bubba Wallace says he stinks. (Photo by Logan Riely/Getty Images)
Bubba Wallace fumes, wants to be replaced
Look, I give this disclaimer every time, because I don't wanna be labeled a Bubba Hater ...
I don't hate Bubba. I actually would love to get a beer with him. Feel like he'd be fun as hell in that setting. And I love the emotion. Love it. Need it in this sport.
That being said, how am I not supposed to laugh at this little outburst after he crashed at COTA? I mean, it's probably exactly what I would do, from punching his own car to calling for his replacement.
I know Bubba gets on some nerves (yes, that's putting it mildly, I know), but at this point I think we just have to respect it. Guy is an emotional wreck half the time, but hell, I'd rather that than a robot, of which there are plenty in the garage.
Plus, you know, they don't call him Clickbait Bubba for nothing. OK, they don't call him that, but my analytics team sure as hell does!
NASCAR in-fighting between Suarez, Chastain
Anyone who's watched a NASCAR road race knows it brings out the absolute worst in people, and guess what ... COTA didn't diappoint!
We had so much mayhem Sunday I couldn't keep up. Seriously, there was a wreck before we finished the first lap, and there was so much carnage at the end it took like three overtimes just to finish this sucker.
Insanity.
OK, let's all go for a cool-down ride with Daniel Suarez after the checkered flag waved. Head on a swivel, everyone. Coming through!
What a roller coaster! Suarez was PISSED with how Alex Bowman and teammate Ross Chastain raced him at the end, and he clearly showed it by knocking the hell out of both of them after the race.
Absolutely ZERO chance this doesn't end with a fine for Danny boy here, but I'm glad he took one for the team and have us this #content.
Chase Elliott is back in NASCAR ... kind of
By the way, how great was Turn 1 yesterday? That above video was just one of the dozens of wrecks we saw on restarts at that exact same spot, and it was chaos. Give me seats at that turn every single year.
Speaking of seats, how about some cat named Chase Elliott taking one in the FOX booth yesterday!? After weeks of silence, NASCAR's Most Popular Driver finally returned from his shredded leg to do a little color commentating with the boys in the booth.
And you know what? He was actually really, really good. Anyone catch when Chase correctly pointed out which starting spot William Byron should have chose for a late-race restart? I know I sound like a homer, but it was spot-on analysis from Chase.
PS: William Byron did not listen to him and promptly lost.
Anyway, couple observations after putting eyeballs on Clyde for the first time in a month ...
No. 1 -- how about this setup? More importantly, how about the Dasani water choice? Absolutely wild move, but I love it.
People love to hate on Dasani, which personally makes me LOVE it. I won't drink anything else, just because it angers the mob. And Chase and I love angering the mob.
Chase Elliott new love interest?
Second thing I noticed, and this is a big one ...
Anyone else see where Chase Elliott was coming to you live from? Vail, Colorado! The same place he broke his leg a month ago.
He's still in Vail? I mean, you're thinking the same thing I am, right? Gotta be a girl. Has to be.
I know I know, he could be doing therapy out there, which is true. He's also probably in some sort of cast, which would make it hard to fly -- although he can certainly afford a Wheels Up ride.
But I choose to believe he's instead out there with his newest love interest, which is why I've always believed he was out there in the first place. And you know what? I'm here for it. Need some more power couples in the NASCAR garage.
Anyway, here's a video of Chase Elliott giving Bubba the finger years ago I found while trying to find out if he has a new girlfriend.
Kyle Busch hates Chastain, Joey Logano hates NASCAR
OK, enough power couple talk (until Hooters Gianna in a bit, of course). Back to everyone hating everyone on the track!
Kyle Busch finished second at COTA. Good day for Rowdy, who had a legit shot to win there at the end.
And, of course, our man took advantage of the strong finish to throw a quick haymaker at Ross Chastain out of absolutely nowhere.
Hilarious. So uncalled for. So petty. so perfect. I love it.
Everyone HATES Ross the Boss, including, as we just learned, his own teammate. Tough look.
OK, now over to Joey Logano, who was thrilled with the folks in the NASCAR tower early in Sunday's race and then took a punch to the face from Mike Joy.
Love Mike Joy this year, by the way. Guy's been doing this forever and he's just dropped the gloves this season and is calling people out left and right in the booth. Hilarious.
Speaking of calling people out, how about Ryan Preece taking an absolute blowtorch to anyone and every one in the garage.
Hacks!
Jimmie Johnson has a great NASCAR return!
OK, two more notes on our way to Richmond.
What a MISERABLE day for Jimmie Johnson. The seven-time NASCAR champ returned for the second time this season, and lasted a total of ... one lap.
Hell, it wasn't even on full lap!
Imagine coming out of retirement and choosing a handful of races to run, and you spend days practicing at the track only to wreck less than one lap in and your day is over.
What misery. Good thing Jimmie isn't quite as emotional as Bubba Wallace, because heads would have ROLLED.
Hooters Gianna Tulio goes cowgirl for Ryan Blaney
OK, that's a funny headline. I know I know, it's low-hanging fruit, but funny is funny, and that's funny.
It's a Monday in March, folks. We have to laugh our way through the pain.
Anyway, Gianna is an obvious star around these parts and she not only made the trip to Texas with Blaney over the weekend, but she looked the damn part.
Giddy-up, and off to Richmond!