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Joe Rogan’s Suggestion For Disney’s Slumping Stock: Hire Johnny Depp

Disney stock prices are sinking faster than the Titanic, but Joe Rogan has an idea of how they can stay afloat.

Align themselves with Captain Jack.

Down 46% year-to-year, Rogan is of the opinion that Disney should reconcile with its former box office draw, Johnny Depp. The 58-year-old actor starred as Captain Jack Sparrow in five installments of The Pirates of the Caribbean.

“If Disney wanted to reclaim all the stock that they’ve lost, all the market share they’ve lost over the past couple of months, I guarantee, you say, ‘F*** it, we’re on Team Johnny Depp,'” Rogan said during a recent episode of his podcast, The Joe Rogan Experience.

Rogan continued: “That would probably pump up their stock market price. Like literally, that would cause their stock to rise. If they’re [just] like, ‘You know what? We’re bringing Johnny back, we believe him.’ Hashtag believe most women.”

It’s hard to argue Rogan’s stance. Bringing Depp back would seem to make (dollars and) sense. Disney could use all the help they can get after spending the last year swimming in negative headlines. Not to mention, any future Pirates movies without Depp would likely struggle to achieve the same success they were accustomed to with him on board.

Depp, however – currently in the midst of a defamation trial with ex-wife Amber Heard – likely wouldn’t jump at the opportunity to once again be crew mates with Disney.

During a recent cross-examination, Heard attorney Ben Rottenborn stated the following: “The fact is, Mr. Depp, if Disney came to you with $300 million and a million alpacas, nothing on this earth would get you to go back and work with Disney on a Pirates of the Caribbean film? Correct?”

To which Depp replied: “That is true.”

Despite Rogan’s sensible plan, Disney must now realize: This is the day you will always remember as the day you almost caught Captain Jack Sparrow.

Follow along on Twitter: @OhioAF

Written by Anthony Farris

Anthony is a former high school basketball intramural champion who played a leading role in creating two offspring. He spends his weekends hoping for an MTV Rock N' Jock revival.

Follow him on twitter @OhioAF

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