Joe Biden Keeps Getting Lost On Stage And We Examine Why. The Answer Is Shocking

Another pesky stage fooled Joe Biden this week. This time, the culprit was in Pittsburgh, where the President attended a rally Thursday afternoon.

At the end of what I’m sure was an amazing, coherent, thought-provoking speech, Biden turned around to exit stage-left, but looked more lost than when I was forced to spend nine days in Massachusetts earlier this month.

Joe Biden fooled by stage in Pittsburgh

That damn stage! Fooled him AGAIN.

It’s time to address the elephant in the room here …

Why can’t Joe Biden navigate a stage? I honestly don’t understand. I am by no means a Joe Biden fan – just look at my bio at the bottom of this page – but I thought he could at least figure out a flat surface with pretty obvious exit points.

President Joe Biden got lost on a stage in Pittsburgh and we need to examine why it keeps happening.
Joe Biden keeps getting lost on stage and it’s time to examine why.

I guess that’s on me, so my bad.

Obviously, this isn’t the first time Biden’s treated a stage like a Rubik’s Cube. Hell, he’s done it at least two other times … in the past month!

Let’s roll tape!

For the love of God, can we please do a five minute walkthrough before these events? Anyone ever think to maybe rehearse this thing before jumping right in?

I know, I know – practicing how to … walk … seems a bit much, but let me ask you this: would you let your 80-year-old grandpa walk by himself?

Didn’t think so!

Biden and John Fetterman are the perfect match

The good news is, Biden also stopped by a sandwich shop in Pittsburgh once he figured out the maze-stage, and promptly looked confused when asked by a reporter why more candidates don’t want to be seen in public with him?

“What are you talking about?” he finally responded after getting impressively close to the person’s face.

Joe Biden was confused by a pretty simple question.
Joe Biden loves a good closeup.

All in all, another big day of doings for the President, who started it all by campaigning for John Fetterman.

I guarantee you there’s a stage out there that could fool him, too.

Oh yeah, the original question! Why does Joe Biden keep getting lost on a stage?

He’s old. It’s because he’s literally turning 80 next month and old people can’t figure out simple things.

That’s why my grandparents still get the newspaper, have a landline that’s mounted to the wall with a cord that can reach the moon, and watch 12 DVDs a day because they can’t figure out the cable.

There’s your answer.

What a time to be alive.

Written by Zach Dean

Zach grew up in Florida, lives in Florida, and will never leave Florida ... for obvious reasons. He's a reigning fantasy football league champion, knows everything there is to know about NASCAR, and once passed out (briefly!) during a lap around Daytona. He swears they were going 200 mph even though they clearly were not.

One Comment

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  1. You’re missing the steps at the stage too, Zach. It isn’t because he’s old, there are 90yo running marathons in unfamiliar cities. It’s because dementia and alzheimers create confusion, anger, lies, incontinence…
    The obvious is to watch him shake hands with his suit coat, but the in this case the thousand words are as instructive as the picture. Most times he’s preceded his shaking hands with ghosts with verifiable lies, like his 46yo son died in Iraq, his grandfather was an All American, or he can go to the toilet unaided!
    Anti..mily chose him for THIS reason, he thinks it’s 1975. Come on, Man!

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