Track Star Alica Schmidt Comes Up For Air, Lane Kiffin's Daughter Trolls Haters & I Feel Sorry For Megan Rapinoe - But Not For The Reason You Think

Don't look now, but November is pretty much halfway over. I know, crazy, right? Out of all the months on the calendar -- and I hear there are 12 -- this one always goes by quickest.

It's why I wait at least two weeks to transition from Halloween to Christmas in my house/on my FM radio.

It's called respect -- look it up. Megan Rapinoe doesn't have it, but Nightcaps readers do, so I expect ya'll to act right. More on her here in a bit, because I have some thoughts. Buddy, do I have some thoughts.

But first ... welcome to a Monday Nightcaps! New week, new me. And by that, I mean I'm starting this three-day "reset" from this company that my wife wants me to try. Honestly, I want to, too. It's fall. My dad bod is in full effect. I drink like a fish from Thursday-Sunday because it's football season and I also don't really run anymore because I have a toddler who occupies what little free time I have left.

So, I'm doing this reset, which is three days of drinking these shakes, hydration packets, collagen soups and a ton of water. Notice I didn't say anything about food.

That's because I don't get any until Thursday morning. I also didn't say beer or whiskey -- two of my favorite things in the world.

Don't get alcohol during this, either.

I'll be honest with you, I'm writing this around 11:30 this morning and I'm already miserable. Truly. I can't imagine how I'm going to feel this time tomorrow. Hell, I can't imagine how I'm going to feel in 30 minutes.

Unlike Megan Rapinoe, I do believe there's a God and I know the Big Guy's gonna get me through this.

I'm gone tomorrow and then AF has ya'll covered Wednesday, so I'll give you a full recap on Thursday assuming I don't die first. Either way, it'll be a story.

Along with sad Megan Rapinoe and my miserable week ahead, what else do ya'll wanna talk about today? Track star Alica Schmidt coming up for air after a little dip in the lake? Sure. Why not?!

Lane Kiffin's daughter, Landry, telling the haters at Georgia to piss off last Saturday? I think so. Love this girl.

Maybe we'll open up the mail and do a little betting tonight, too? I was cold as all get-out this weekend until one magical, drunken, angry parlay made me rich during the 4 o'clock window yesterday. I love this country so much.

OK, let's get going before I pass out.

Track star Alica Schmidt remerges for the winter

Been a while since we welcomed Alica back to Nightcaps. Months, actually. Always good to have some of our best students come back to say hey!

Before we get to her, though, I do have a question for the class ...

When is the right time to replace the fall decorations with Christmas ones -- both inside and outside the house?

I ask because that very transition took place this weekend at the Dean Den.

The light-up reindeer replaced my pumpkin patch out in the front yard. White lights replaced the orange and purple ones around the front door. We have enough garland all around our living room right now to get us from here to Gavin Newsom's locked down California

I also was asked -- and obliged -- to throw some Charlie Brown Christmas on the playlist via the soundbar last night. Great album, by the way, for those who have an ounce of class.

Anyway, all that to say I was thinking to myself the whole time -- is this the sweet spot for this transition? I've always been pretty strict on waiting right around two weeks after Halloween to make the move, and I did that again here. I feel good about it, but should I?

OK, welcome back, Alica Schmidt!

Our mailbox is overflowing!

Welcome back, Alica! Can't wait for Paris 2024! Really enjoying seeing Cris Collinsworth speak French once a Sunday during the second quarter of the SNF game when that weird commercial plays, too. Always a treat.

Mail time! Sorry, by the way, to those I didn't respond to. I had to get a new computer last week because my old work one was apparently from the Bill O'Reilly era at FOX.

Loyal Nightcaps student Ryan from OK is up first:

You’ve got me curious with the meatloaf sandy with mustard.  Definitely will have to give her a go.  That is depending on if I can stomach the thought of food after the okst & chiefs outcomes this weekend.  Hopefully so!

I also have to travel down to Florida for work this week, and am not looking forward to leaving hoodie weather for pit sweat weather.  You guys east of the Mississippi can keep your weather (but your governor is pretty cool.  My mom has yard signs tacked to her fence).

Also, from Ryan:

Spaceballs didn’t make the top 4 John candy movies???  My god what is the world coming to?

Thanks, Ryan!

First, the meatloaf sandwich one. It pains me to talk about it right now because I currently have something called collagen soup heating up in the microwave, but I promise it's good. The meatloaf sammich, not the soup.

Here's another tip: don't be afraid to have it cold, either.

Also, need a post-Florida trip update when you can. Need to make sure we treated you right.

Finally, the John Candy one is in reference to last week's power rankings, which were a tribute to John Candy. Spaceballs and Cool Runnings didn't make the list, and I wasn't thrilled about either. It was just such a crowded field that something had to get left off, and unfortunately that's the route I went.

Great movie, though:

Our mailbox is STILL overflowing!

Really was a classic movie. Still is. Does it hold up, though? No shot today's kid/young adult is gonna have the attention span for these 80s and 90s comedies. Maybe I'm wrong, but I doubt it.

Back to the mailbox!

From Rich C.

While back in my home state of Wisconsin last week, we spotted this monster on US43 in Sheboygan County.  It is an impressive sight to see!

The stats on the flag and its pole are crazy. 

Thanks, Rich!

That was in response to Friday's class in which we ended it by giving a shoutout to the WWE for their giant tribute to this great country ahead of Veterans Day.

Love the above find, too. Unreal stats. Rich is right. A four-story flag?! 353,000 pounds of steel? 400-feet high?

Goodness I love this country.

Landy Kiffin isn't fazed, Michigan is America's team and let's go Phoebus!

And so does Lane Kiffin's daughter, Landry! I assume she does, at least. Don't know that for sure but she's Lane's daughter, loves college football and appears to have thick skin.

All those things smell like someone who loves the USA. And, as luck would have it, Landry leads off our rapid-fire portion of today's class!

Just nasty, nasty people. Also, what exactly is the insult here? Don't know much about Landry Kiffin, but she seems like someone who'd fit in well here at Nightcaps.

And no, I'm not gonna throw in some of her Instagram content here like I normally would. I respect Lane too much for that. We have class. You all know damn well where to find it.

PS: really thought Ole Miss had a shot for about three minutes the other night. Georgia has perfected the ol' Alabama strategy of making people think you're not very good and then pummeling everyone strategy.

Speaking of pummeling teams ... LET'S GO BIG BLUE!! Told ya'll Friday that was an easy bet to win. Hope you listened.

Hop on board the Wolverines express now before it's too late! They're the new America's team!

Amazing. I'm more pro-Michigan every single day. Please let these cats win the natty in a few months. I need that content. Need the drama.

By the way, is James Franklin the most overrated coach in college football? Guy STINKS and Penn State literally never wins a big game. And how about James going for 2 after that last touchdown, not getting it, and effectively ending the game. What a moron.

You know who apparently always converts two-point conversions? The pride of Virginia -- Phoebus high school!

I feel sorry for Megan Rapinoe

Let's go, Phantoms! That's now 11-0 and on to the next round of the playoffs. And how about this soft response from the USA Today:

Boo-hoo. The Phantoms tacked on six crucial points on the final play of the game to make it 104-0. So what? It's called leaving no doubt. You know who taught me that?

TC Williams DC Bill Yoast, who did so while giving the greatest speech in the history of speeches:

Chills. Every single time.

Finally, you know who could use some of that as she finally heads into a retirement that couldn't come soon enough?

Megan Rapinoe.

Look, you all know I don't like to bog us down with serious topics here at Nightcaps. Not my thing.

But when I saw her idiotic If there's a God comment over the weekend after getting hurt three minutes into her final game, I had to say something.

Sure, I could do the same thing every other conservative outlet is doing today and run the typical "Of course there's a God, and Megan Rapinoe's final game is the only proof you should need" headline.

I get it, and I certainly wanted to. The clicks would be great.

But after sitting on my back deck and stewing on those comments throughout the late afternoon RedZone portion of games yesterday, the only thing that kept coming to me was ... I just feel bad for her. Seriously.

After months of just being intolerable -- from the transgender stuff, to the Roe V. Wade stuff, to the World Cup embarrassment, to the laughable BLM support -- I've just decided that I feel bad for her.

Megan Rapinoe is clearly broken and lost and, frankly, could really use some God in her life right now. Everybody could, myself included.

Megan Rapinoe giggles like a five-year-old, but that's OK. They don't know better

But she instead just makes lame jokes and giggles like a five-year-old at what is hopefully the last podium she'll ever be behind.

And it's just kind of sad, right? Pathetic, even. Like, really? I couldn't imagine being that miserable, and I'm the one currently eating collagen bone broth.

But I also grew up in the church, met my wife in the church, got baptized in the church, and try to go as much as I can. Believe me, I'm not trying to lecture anyone -- I ain't qualified for that and promise you I don't know enough.

But, what I have learned over the years is that no matter who you are, or what you say, or do, or think, God loves everyone. True story.

And he's forgiving. That's sort of the whole basis of the Christian religion thing, you know? Love one another, forgive, repent, try to do better -- that sort of thing. Not necessarily in that order, but you get the gist.

So, no -- I'm not mad at Megan Rapinoe. Just sad. A little embarrassed, too, but mostly just sad. I forgive her, though. I promise, I really do. And I hope she gets better. Again, I promise. I don't know much, but I do know that's part of the deal, and I'd like to think I walk the walk.

So, enjoy retirement, Megan. Maybe mix in church every once in a while now that your weekends are free. Or not. Just know that they'll be open for you if you want it.

If you need some suggestions, let me know! My email is below. Can't wait to hear from you.

Now, let's go have a week.

OutKick Nightcaps is a daily column set to run Monday through Friday at 4 p.m. (roughly, we’re not robots).

Should I be angrier at Megan Rapinoe or stick to Alica Schmidt content instead? Email me at Zach.Dean@OutKick.com.