Topless Britney Spears Gets Banned, Mike Vrabel Brought A Flask To Patriots Practices & AMC Theaters CEO Fires Off Bizarre Tweet
But first, we’re gonna talk education. If I had to suffer, we all have to suffer! Which is what I did Tuesday afternoon.
That’s when I was helping my daughter with homework. She was tasked with identifying complete predicates. I haven’t heard that phrase in at least 30 years. Seriously. So I hit the Google machine alongside her and figured it out . We must’ve identified 25 of these things. Then, it dawned on me that in all honestly, I’ve never once in my life (outside of school) needed to know what a complete predicate is. Nor did I have to identify a “pretense verb,” which was on the next few pages. Literally, not once. What are we doing this for?
I shot a group text to some friends with jobs ranging from Lawyer to Physical Therapist to everything in between. Not one could recall a single instance in which they’ve ever needed to identify a complete predicate or a pretense verb. In what profession would anyone possibly need to have this knowledge? What a waste of a textbook and classroom time (not to mention my own time which could’ve been spent researching over/unders rather than doing 5th grade homework). Need I remind you, I write for a living? If any job required such knowledge, wouldn’t you think that job would be…writer?
But it doesn’t.
So let’s end the charade and save a lesson plan or two.
If by some miracle you’re not a teacher and you’ve needed to know complete predicates and pretense verbs for your profession - or any other reason as an adult - please, please, please, let me know what the hell you do for a living: anthony.farris@outkick.com
Now that homework’s out of the way, let’s move on to the good stuff, shall we?
Mike Vrabel Shared Practice Flask With Patriots Teammates
Mike Vrabel, he's one of us!
On Monday, Vrabel's former Patriots teammate Ty Law was a guest on The Dan Patrick Show and shared that in the early days of New England's dynasty, Vrabel would share a practice flask with his teammates in an effort to stay warm.
And here I thought it was only those of us watching on tv who needed to drink to watch the Patriots...
"Mike Vrabel used to have the flask. So we'd all go to Vrabel and the hit flask, he had some whiskey or something," Law told Patrick.
What makes the story even better is that the Patriots players had to drive from their locker room parking lot to the field, in full equipment. At the time, they didn't have their existing one-stop-shop practice facility. So, they'd make the short trek in their vehicles (and shoulder pads) and take a swig of the good stuff while en route.
"Hell yeah we was taking drinks in the car," Law continued. "...It was going down on that little five minute drive. Especially when it was cold outside!"
My guess is that in addition to helping stay warm, the players also used the swigs of whiskey to get themselves through a practice full of Belichick coach speak.
Mike Vrabel and the boys weren't opposed to some pre-practice whiskey. (Photo by Barry Chin/The Boston Globe via Getty Images)
Troy Aikman And Joe Buck Wore Enormous Coats
Big game. Big coats. That’s apparently the way ESPN felt when outfitting the broadcast team of Troy Aikman and Joe Buck for Saturday’s Divisional playoff game between Houston and Baltimore.
The Hall of Fame QB and his broadcast partner showed up in a big way – literally – when cameras shifted away from the field and towards the booth.
If you didn’t know any better, you’d think Aikman and Buck scored their oversized coats from latex salesman George Costanza.
Are those things GORE-TEX?
Aikman and Buck's NFL playoff broadcast duties concluded Saturday, so we're unlikely to see a return of the oversized puffer jackets anytime soon. But rest assured, they'll both stay plenty warm as winter rolls along.
St. Louis Fire Truck Meets Icy Roads
The tires upon a St. Louis fire truck could've used some gore-tex earlier this week. In case you missed it, a fire truck responding to a house call had more spins than a night out for a 21st birthday. And Missouri's icy roads were to blame.
Despite losing control, the truck ended up (somewhat) neatly parked in a residential driveway. One parked car was damaged, but no one was injured.
Maybe the firemen got into Vrabel's flask?
And speaking of damaged...
Topless Britney Spears No Longer Welcome At LA Hotel
Now that we've parked the rig, how about some topless swimming? I bet Jason Kelce's down.
Anyways, everybody's favorite '90s pop-princess, Britney Spears, is naked again. But unlike the folks around the French Polynesia, a five-star LA hotel isn't quite as fond of seeing Britney's bitties out in the open.
Zach detailed Brit's French frolic last week and now we learn that Britney's been banned from the Four Seasons hotel in Los Angeles.
A source tells The U.S. Sun: "Britney has been going to the Four Seasons in Westlake Village for years, but she's been causing a headache for staff recently.
"In the past year, she's been banned from the hotel, unbanned, and is now banned again. Some guests have complained about her going topless by the pool and making them feel uncomfortable, and her behavior is often bizarre and annoying."
Britney Spears is no longer welcome at LA's Four Seasons hotel. (Photo by Michelangelo Di Battista/Sony/RCA via Getty Images)
I'll tell ya what, if the swanky five-star resort is too good to allow Britney to bare all poolside, then I'm cancelling all future stays! Management apparently doesn't realize what tan lines can do to one's self image.
Shame on them!
Spears, by the way, is no stranger to letting it all hang out. So the Four Seasons shouldn't feel as if they're in exclusive company. Here are just a few examples of Britney letting it all hang out - and sharing with the world.
Are you sensing a trend?
AMC Theaters CEO With An All-Time Head Scratcher
If you think Britney's behavior is bizarre, wait until you see the tweet AMC Theatres CEO, Adam Aron fired off Monday night!
Think Covid, movie theatres and Joel Embiid can't be lumped into one thought?
Think again.
Shortly after 76ers center Joel Embiid embarrassed cranky, old Gregg Popovich's team (ya hate to see it!) with a 70 burger, Aron thumbed out one of the most bizarre crossover tweets you'll ever see.
Let's replay that last line again, shall we?
"But greatness deserves praise: Sixers Joel Embiid...70 points...70!"
What in the actual fu...
Hat tip to OutKick's Mark Harris for being as dumbfounded as me and bringing this tweet to my attention.
A Living, Breathing, McFlurry?
You know what would pair well with a movie or some NBA action? A McFlurry - assuming you can find a McDonald's with a machine in working order. But one such Wisconsin family won't have such worries. They've got their very own, living, breathing McFlurry on the ready.
Analysia Beck and her husband Daniel welcomed a newborn baby boy into the world from a McDonald's parking lot earlier this month.
Contractions had started two weeks ahead of the baby's due date and the Becks were rushing to the hospital when they realized they were better off making a McStop.
"I was like, 'No, like, it's happening right now. We need to pull over,'" Anaylsia Beck told Fox News Digital.
The closest location was a McDonald's, so the Becks pulled in and Analysia hopped into the back of the couple's SUV. "Halfway through, I was just lying in our trunk, and I was like, 'Oh, my gosh. This is happening at McDonald's … I can't believe it," Analysia recalled.
Police and paramedics were soon on the scene and a baby boy was delivered feet away from where customers scarf down McNuggets and Big Macs.
Finally, something - or someone - capable of producing a McFlurry.
The couple named their son Micah, but have also given him quite a few nicknames that seem like they'll have staying power.
Per Fox, those include: "McFlurry," "Mickey D's," "McBaby" and "Small Fry."
Whatever nickname they eventually settle on, here's hoping the baby boy's Lovin' it.
Last Call, Drink Up!
I hear there's more 5th grade homework that needs by attention. So while I'm dealing with numerators and denominators, feel free to snack on these crumbs that didn't make their way into the mouth of Nightcaps. See you next week!
*Nightcaps publishes at roughly 4pm Monday through Friday.
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