Sofia Vergara Is A PJ & Lingerie Walmart Girl, Falcons-Panthers Tix Cost Less Than A Stick Of Gum & Tyler Glasnow's GF Is Ready For LA
We've finally made it all the way back to Friday and I'm spending my day stocking up on hurricane supplies from Walmart and taking down Christmas lights. Didn't even see Sofia Vergara there, either. Oh well. All in due time.
More on Sofia in a minute. But first -- back to my impending weekend.
Apparently, we're getting basically a tropical storm here in Florida tonight and tomorrow. Up north, ya'll would call it a Nor'easter. Down here, we call it a giant pain in the ass with the possibility of a tornado or two. Cool. Great way to spend my final weekend at home before the holidays.
Anyway, that's not your problem. It's mine. I won't bog the class down with my miserable weekend. It's a damn Friday in mid-December and we have NFL football tomorrow AND Sunday. Let's get to it.
We have Sofia Vergara modeling PJs and lingerie at Walmart all of a sudden. Huge development. We'll dive in.
We also have the get-in price for Sunday's huge NFC East showdown between the Panthers and Falcons, and it's less than the coffee I just bought from Dunks. They're having FUN this season in Carolina!
Elsewhere, the Brandon Staley memes were electric last night, Tyler Glasnow's girlfriend is ready for LA, and we had maybe the greatest halftime fan contest in the history of basketball take place just 24 hours ago. Makes me look like Allen Iverson.
OK, that's enough to get us started. Let's head to the Walmart and get some batteries with Sofia Vergara.
Feel free to bring a drink, too -- you're not driving!
Sofia Vergara is now a Walmart girl
We'll start with the reason ya'll stopped by today because we don't mess around on a Friday.
So, I was scrolling around the internet this morning trying to find something to drum up interest on an otherwise slow Friday, and I stumbled upon Sofia Vergara. I usually check in on her every few weeks for obvious reasons, but seeing her partnering with ... Walmart ... out of absolutely nowhere was not on my Bingo card.
Side note: what are our feelings on Walmart? Feel like you're either all in, or very much out on it. I like it because it's the absolute Wild Wild West every single time you go.
I've seen homeless people sleeping in the clothing section, fights break out by the register, people try to steal stuff in broad daylight -- all of it.
I actually went to mine a few months ago and tripped on a homeless guy who was wedged into one of the corners of the men's shirts sections. True story. But I didn't even bat an eye because it's all just part of the Walmart package.
Double side note: anyone old enough to remember when they just had random lobster tanks positioned around the store? What a time that was.
God this country used to be so great.
Big game in Carolina this weekend!
Fellas -- need last minute Christmas ideas for the wife? You are welcome! If it's good enough for Sofia Vergara, it's good enough for you.
Now, like I said, we have a big weekend of football. Thank God the NFL has us covered on both Saturday and Sunday, because only having Army-Navy last week was such a wakeup call that the fall is pretty much over.
We wait all year for it, and then it's just done in like three months. Feels like three days. Brutal.
Anyway, pretty decent slate tomorrow if we're being honest. Not the best, but better than whatever the hell that was last night.
I'll take the Bengals at -3.5 at home over whoever is QBing the Vikings nowadays. Also don't hate Denver getting 4.5 in Detroit. Feels like a classic Lions loss, doesn't it?
As for the Sunday games ... it's gonna sound weird, but hammer the under in the Dolphins-Jets game. Trust me. The Dolphins may not have three offensive linemen, Tyreek Hill or Xavien Howard. The weather may also be ... not great.
It's gonna be your classic 17-10 Dolphins-Jets game. I promise.
And for those of who you not going to the Falcons-Panthers game -- and that seems like just about everyone -- that one feels like an under, too.
I couldn't get enough of the Chargers content last night
Amazing. What a deal! #Bidenomics, baby!
Is that the cheapest thing in the country right now? Serious question. It's gotten so bad here (thanks, Joe!) that I don't look at the receipt at Publix anymore. Won't do it. Can't do it. Too depressing, especially this time of year.
And God forbid you have kids in diapers. Game over. We've been HAMMERING the daily potty training lessons at the Dean house lately just so we can eat dinner.
OK, let's get to last night's Chargers meltdown. What a wild game. To be honest, I watched about three seconds of it. I had something trip my outside outlets at some point yesterday and I spent a solid hour last night trying to find the one with the GFCI so I could reset it.
I looked for a literal hour. Scanned my entire house. I was outside at 9:30 last night in the damn bushes trying to see if there was a random outlet I didn't know about that had it.
Nothing.
And then, just when all hope was lost and I was ready to pack it in, I found it -- in the garage. What a twist.
Anyway, all that to say I had to keep up with the game on social media, and you all were elite last night:
Layups, Tiger and Charlie, bikini police & Microsofties
OK, that last one had nothing to do with the Chargers, but we always welcome Annie Agar to class -- especially on a Friday!
Welcome back.
Now, it's time to go. We've all got things to do and I like to keep class short and sweet on Fridays.
First up? This physical specimen who went viral last night:
That boy is hooooooooping!
How does that happen? Almost makes you wonder if it's a bit, but it also just looks like he's genuinely awful at anything and I mean anything that takes an ounce of athleticism. Love that he kept going back to it, though. Never give up.
Next? Tiger Woods and son Charlie giving the golf world some driving range porn this morning from the PNC:
Big Cat AND Little Cat! You ever just randomly think to yourself throughout the day how cool it would be to just be a little good at golf? I do -- all the time. It must be just the best feeling.
Meanwhile, I duffed back-to-back 3-woods into the lake earlier this week in front of my dad and his buddy and chose to ride out the rest of the hole in shame.
Did make birdie on the next one, though. That's called grinding.
Almost done, but first ... this:
... and this:
Tyler Glasnow and girlfriend Meghan Murphy head to LA and take us home
I've got news for you community-noters -- just because it's been around since 2020 doesn't make it any less hilarious.
Could you imagine getting dinged on Microsoft word for not being inclusive enough? What a wild era we live in. Between that and the super fat people on Southwest yesterday, we've had quite a week.
Also: how lame were things back in 1957? What in the world?
No SHOT Tyler Glasnow's plastic surgeon girlfriend would've survived back then.
Let's let her take us into the weekend before they jet off to LA.
See you Monday.
OutKick Nightcaps is a daily column set to run Monday through Friday at 4 p.m. (roughly, we’re not robots).
Did Sofia Vergara give you any Christmas ideas? Email me at Zach.Dean@OutKick.com.