Paige Spiranac Rival Karin Hart Needs Help Getting Dressed, The Masters WAGs Invade Augusta & CNN Out-Woked!

Over the hump and straight into one of the best stretches of the year: Masters weekend! And hey – it's Tariff-free! Win-win. 

Love the Masters for multiple reasons, but mainly because it's such a slow burn. You dip your toe in today and tomorrow – catching a few holes here and there on the HOF Masters app at work – but you really don't lock in until Saturday afternoon. 

That's when you settle in for the first Masters nap of the weekend, and it's electric. Nothing like it. Drifting in and out of sleep for hours on the couch while slugging down beers and watching up-and-downs in between REM cycles? The best. That, boys and girls, is a tradition unlike any other. 

Frankly, the only thing better is the final few holes Sunday evening, when you're out on the back deck grilling with the sun about to set, and you're locked in on the TV with a whispering Jim Nantz waxing poetic. It's America at our best. Let's roll. 

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Welcome to a Thursday Nightcaps – the one where we help Paige Spiranac rival Karin Hart get dressed for Augusta, and go from there. 

What else? I've got the Libs crying foul over Trump's reverse pump ‘n dump scheme from yesterday (they’re so full of shit), Anderson Cooper getting out-woked by a lunatic lefty, and the Masters WAGs having a big Par-3 tourney performance. Paulina AND Jena Sims in the same class? 

Whew. What a menu! Let's get AFTER it before all of yesterday's gains are officially lost. 

Grab you a pimento cheese sammy and settle in for a Round-1-of-the-Masters 'Cap!

Peach sammys & a trip on the inside!

Ever had a pimento cheese sandwich? We only ever talk about them this time of year, but I'm a fan. They're not for everyone, but I'll dabble in one at some point this weekend just for shits & gigs. Not the greatest thing ever invented, but decent. 

The egg salad is better, if we're being honest, but the peach ice cream sandwich trumps all of it. Now, I've never actually been to Augusta and had the ones made on-site, but I've been to enough Masters parties to know that these bad boys are insane:

Maybe one day I'll get to have one on the course. We'll see. Nothing a couple more buy low! opportunities like yesterday won't fix. 

Speaking of … I wrote about it this morning, but it's worth pointing out the lefty hypocrisy again in this class. It's our bread & butter, after all. 

Hey, AOC – Nancy Pelosi just hobbled over to her landline and told me to give you a message … sit this one out. 

Speaking of the Libs turning on each other …

Yeah, I mean, give me a BREAK. Seriously, spare me. Spare us all, AOC. This is a box I promise you don't want to open – for your own party's sake. 

Let's not sit here and act holier-than-thou when your own party ain't exactly Mother Teresa. Nancy Pelosi has literally been memed to death over the past few years because of her uncanny eye when it comes to buying and selling stocks. She's undefeated in the market. 

She's also been awfully quiet today. Weird. Wonder why?

Look, this crap has been going on forever. For those who forget, someone named OBAMA literally did the same thing Trump did yesterday back in 2009. This ain't exactly reinventing the wheel. 

And by the way – Trump posted to BUY BUY BUY! yesterday morning. Everyone with eyes saw it. If you didn't listen, that's on you. I didn't, because I'm an idiot. I chose to finish Nightcaps instead, which shows you how little foresight I have. 

But he spelled it out for everyone to see. 

My point here, though, is this: nobody should be on this particular soapbox. Not the left. Not the right. Nobody. Wall Street is a scummy business. It's why I stay away from it. 

Well, that and the fact that I'm stupid. Either-or!

Anyway, let's all get back to MAIN STREET and check in with Anderson Cooper, 107-year-old Bernie, and CNN!

Masters WAGs & Karin's closet 

My God. It's perfect. Look at how lost they are. The whole party. Just so lost. Anderson and Bernie must be so secretly annoyed, but they can't say anything, because then their virtue-signaling act is up. 

Remember – the left ALWAYS ends up eating each other in the end. Always, always, always. They don't believe any of the crap they say. It's all for show. All for the clicks. All pandering. Don't be fooled. 

OK, let's rapid-fire this class into a big Thursday night. First up? Off to Augusta we go! Right off the bat, I can tell you that I am all the way in on this amateur DOG playing with Scottie Scheffler today. 

Legend:

A lot of Big Js and by-the-book losers on Golf Twitter are PISSED at Jose right now because he wore this hat today while playing at Augusta alongside the best player in the world. 

Piss off. These are the same people who were pissed at Jason Day last year when he looked like he got dressed in the dark. Lighten up. We're having fun out here. We stand with Jose Luis Ballester!

Next? Big day for the golf wives yesterday, as always. Rory's wife? BACK, against all odds, and still a rocket (far left). Sergio's wife, Angela? Rocket (middle). Paulina Gretzky? Veteran rocket, and a Nightcaps OG. You already know where she is.

Mix in a little Jena Sims in the pink azaleas, and we've got ourselves a LOADED leaderboard to start the weekend. 

What a day. 

(Photo by Richard Heathcote/Getty Images)

The golf WAG scene has never, ever, been in better hands. I think we're in for a special weekend in Augusta. Let's get after IT. 

OK, let's end the day with Paige Spiranac rival, Karin Hart, asking for help ahead of Round 1. I'm partial to the Sunday look. You?

See you tomorrow. 

OutKick Nightcaps is a daily column set to run Monday through Friday at 4 p.m. (roughly, we’re not robots).

Who you got this weekend? Email me at Zach.Dean@OutKick.com.