Olivia Dunne Paralyzes America With Her Stretches, NASCAR's Natalie Decker Fires Back & The Big Js Are MAD!

I've got ribs on the smoker, patriotic hockey on one TV, spring training baseball on another, and Busch Light in the cooler. It's 86 degrees in Florida today. I'm arguing with Dan Wolken on Twitter over Donald Trump. 

I mean, who has it better than us today? Nobody. Certainly not the Libs. Certainly not the Canadians. What a great country. God, I love it. 

Let's roll. 

Welcome to a Friday Nightcaps – the one where Olivia Dunne limbers up for a big weekend in a way that would literally paralyze me. 

What else? I've got the best of the rest from a big week of #content, NASCAR's Natalie Decker sends a message to her haters, of which there are many, and Jessica Alba reminds folks that Maxim is very much still alive. 

Remember Maxim? That magazine your dad tucked at the back of the toilet, behind the Sports illustrated and Better Homes and Gardens, so mom wouldn't see it? 

That one! Still alive, buddy. 

Grab you some smoked St. Louis ribs, and settle in for a Friday 'Cap!

Why is everyone so pissed at Josh Pate? Just kidding, we all know why!

Ever do smoked ribs? Good stuff. Underrated. But, also, kind of a pain. Prepping the rack (hey now!) is such a time-consumer. You have to trim the fat. There's the giant flap of meat at the back that's a huge pain. You have to take the membrane off, which ain't as easy on St. Louis as it is on the Baby Backs. 

I went through half a roll of paper towels just getting it off both racks, and I'm still not convinced it's completely done. 

It also didn't help that I'm fairly certain my sharp kitchen knives couldn't slice through butter at this point. I'm quite sure they haven't been sharpened since we got them … a decade ago. They are truly useless. 

But, we figured it out, best we could. On the smoker at 180 for three hours. Take them off, raise the temp to 225. Foil ‘em, pour apple juice on ’em, and then back in for two hours. Take ‘em out, unfoil ’em, slather ‘em with BBQ sauce (I’m going homemade because I'm heterosexual), and back on for 10 minutes. 

We'll see how it goes. I'm optimistic. 

OK, let's start class, because, as you can see, I have things to do. While butchering my ribs this morning, I found myself in a Twitter war with OutKick OG Dan Wolken. 

You never know where this job will take you:

What a week of #content!

My God! What a way to spend a morning. It's so weird to me how worked up the Big Js get over another Big J getting an interview with Donald Trump. It's adorable. 

But it's just CLASSIC Big J stuff. They LOVE to say obvious things that can make them sound smart. Like Dan saying Trump is going on Josh Pate's show because it's an election year, and he's back in campaign mode. 

I mean, no shit. Duh. That's how politics work! That's literally been the playbook for decades. But regardless … who CARES? The Big Js are so petty. The egos in this industry are amazing, especially when you consider we literally do NOTHING of significance. Nothing. We're not doctors. We're not brain surgeons. We're, frankly, not teachers. 

We write things. That's it. And you're going to get mad that Josh Pate said yes to Donald Trump being on his podcast? Seriously? 

Incredible. 

OK, let's get to the best #content from a big week. Happy … Non (?) … Liberation Day!

Jessica & Canada, oh my!

Another solid week. One more full week of February left, and then we're #OnToMarch. Can't wait. Couple thoughts …

1. Olivia Dunne is heating up, boys and girls. World Baseball Classic in two weeks. Regular season in four. She's thawing. 

2. Natalie Decker has told the HATERS that she's "here to stay" after they jumped all over her for ripping her shirt off at Daytona last weekend. She has no such haters here, for those wondering. 

3. For those still on the fence about whether Trump's tariffs were good, that Mike Pence tweet should sway you. He's so dumb. 

4. Good to see The Athletic's top NFL writer tallying the black coaches in the NFL on … Feb. 20. My God. Just imagine waking up today and counting all the minority hires in the NFL. What an absolute miserable existence. 

OK, rapid-fire time on this penultimate Friday of February. First up? Did anyone on the planet have a worse day yesterday than Team Canada?

Incredible. What a tweet. No notes. 10/10. Perfection. 

That's what they came up with? What does that even mean? First, no it doesn't. It doesn't shine just as bright. And it's certainly not "just as good" as winning GOLD, as the post implies. There's a reason there's a gold medal, and a silver medal. 

If they were the same, the Olympics would be pointless. They would cease to exist. There would literally be no point. 

This would be like the Patriots, after getting humiliated in the Super Bowl earlier this month, tweeting out, "We're still AFC champions."

This is like when the Colts hang a banner for every single accolade, no matter how small. They once hung one for simply being an "AFC Finalist."

An AFC Finalist!

That's the American equivalent of the Canadian tweet. Amazing. Congrats, Canada. You are no better than the 2014 Indianapolis Colts. They lost 45-7 to the Pats in the AFC title game. 

Good to know PATRIOTS won this time, too. 

OK, that's it for today – and this week. I have to go wrap my ribs and watch the Americans punch their tickets to another Canadian ass-kicking. 

See you Monday. Take us home, Jessica!

OutKick Nightcaps is a daily column set to run Monday through Friday at 4 p.m. (roughly, we’re not robots).

Are you losing sleep over Josh Pate? Email me at Zach.Dean@OutKick.com.