Olivia Dunne Gives A Crawfish Sucking Tutorial That Has Folks Talking, Hot March Madness Girl ID'd & Torpedo!

Final Monday of March, boys and girls. As Clark Griswald once said, this is it, this is the big one!

Spent all day yesterday doing a little spring-cleaning to christen March's final days. For the first time since last August, I can actually walk through my garage without fear of spraining an ankle. Finally got around to putting the turkey fryer from Thanksgiving back in the attic. Brought the final Christmas gifts inside. 

What a day. There are even rumors that, thanks to my hard work, I may even have a full 18 in my future tomorrow. Sounds good on paper, but it'll turn into "can't you just play nine?" real quick. My guess? I'll hit a bucket of balls at the range and then pack it up. We'll see. 

Welcome to a Monday Nightcaps – the one where we suck down some crawfish with Olivia Dunne after a big opening MLB weekend, and go from there.

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What else? I've got a loaded weekend of Twitter bookmarks to unload before they all become old and outdated AND UF student-reporter Talia Baia finally giving us the viral-hot-March Madness-girl we've been looking for. Whew. What a sweat! 

I also assume I'll touch on the torpedo bat at some point because it's a talker, and Tim Walz's Twins are off to a great start!

Another win for Tampon Tim! 

OK, grab you one last Guinness to celebrate March – it is the official drink of this month, you know – and settle in for a Monday 'Cap!

Where do our purists stand on torpedo bats?

I know! Another class leading off with MLB. Unreal. I'll be honest – I haven't watched a second – not one second – of March Madness since the Arkansas-St. John's game. 

I don't know. I'm just not into it this year. I tried at first, but then all the teams that were supposed to win … won … and all the possible Cinderellas got stuffed into a locker. 

I watch March Madness for the upsets. The drama. The Cinderella. I don't need to see Duke win for the 107th time. There are four No. 1 seeds in the Final Four. Remember a few years ago when we had FAU, Miami, SAN DIEGO STATE and UConn in the Final Four? 

That was living, baby. This? Eh. I'd prefer torpedo bats. 

Yeah, this is sort of where I stand on the whole thing. For starters, it's not cheating. Baseball says they're legal. 

I'm a Red Sox fan (great weekend!), but I'm not going to sit here and fault the Yankees for spending all of their offseason money on some genius from MIT. After seeing Rafael Devers go 0 for 16 with 12 (!!!) strikeouts this weekend, I would've preferred the Sox did the same. 

I do find it funny that the bat was pretty much created just because Anthony Volpe was such a shitty hitter. That's amazing. And sad. 

But my bottom line? Same with the steroid era. Open it up to everyone. I loved the steroid era. Best MLB era by a mile. Not even close. But not everyone had the stones to do it, because, you know, it was illegal. 

But this is legal. So either start getting on Amazon and order you some damn torpedo bats (there's a great spring sale going on, too!), or quit complaining. 

Let's Make Dingers Great Again!

What a weekend of #content!

The best. If the torpedo bat brings that sort of energy back to baseball, I'm all for it. Again, don't fault the Yankees for hiring a nerd over retaining Juan Soto. Clearly, it's worked out … so far. 

PS: MIT? Incredible DIII baseball team. They used to beat our asses so bad, even if I told you the final scores, you wouldn't believe me. 

Luckily for everyone – I can just SHOW you instead!

It's my absolute favorite picture from my college baseball days. Perfection. No notes. Perfectly encapsulates the Emerson Lions. 

For those wondering … we did NOT mount a comeback. How about me playing the hot corner, though?! What a time.

OK, let's get to the best #content from a weekend FULL of it:

Livvy in the wild, UF reporter Talia says hi & Sophie!

Another undefeated weekend! Good work, all. Couple thoughts …

1. That last one? Not sure if movies are salvageable at this point. You'd have to outbid Netflix, and that's probably not gonna happen. So I doubt there's going to be a "90-day theatrical" window. 

The biggest problem is the price. That's easily – easily – the toughest hurdle right now. A family of four going to the movies is gonna run you well over $100 at this point between the tickets, the food and the drinks. 

I haven't been to the theater since that awful last Star Wars movie came out. Feel like that's a good one to end it on. 

2. I agree with the fat woman. This ain't the America we grew up in. But, also, I don't think people were as fat back in the day. Maybe mix in a salad or two and then revisit Six Flags in a few months. 

3. The WNBA is so full of gaslighting shit, I don't even know where to begin. Every single player should be insulted by that nonsense. Every one of ‘em. 

Now, they won’t be, because they're afraid of getting canceled, but it's so ass-backwards I can't even wrap my head around it. 

4. You wanna see a real WNBA WOMAN? Welcome back to class, MAGA Barbie Sophie Cunningham!

As far as I'm concerned, the WNBA can burn. Piss off. We stand with Sophie!

OK, rapid-fire time on this final-Monday-of-March. First up? We also stand with Olivia Dunne!

Looks like Livvy had a great time at Loan Depot Park for Game 1 of 162! That's our girl. The NFL can have Taylor Swift. MLB is just fine with Livvy and Paul Skenes. #GrowTheGame!

PS: where do we stand with the crawfish video? I'm with Livvy 100% on it. I do the same with shrimp. People who act afraid of a little shit in their seafood probably shouldn't be eating it in the first place. It's fine. It tastes fine. 

I can assure you that it tastes just the same. It's certainly not worth taking the time to devein each one. That's nonsense. Be a man, eat the shit, and keep the line moving. 

Finally, it took a while, but we have found a viral hot girl at March Madness. My God. Talk about a buzzer beater! 

Talia, for those wondering, is an ESPN Gainesville student-reporter. She says in her Twitter bio that "my job is to put myself out there."

I'd say she nailed it. Welcome to the show, Talia! And go Gators. 

See you Wednesday. 

OutKick Nightcaps is a daily column set to run Monday through Friday at 4 p.m. (roughly, we’re not robots).

You OK with Livvy's method? Email me at Zach.Dean@OutKick.com.