Gavin Newsom's Office Does The Unthinkable, Makes 'Nut-CrushingGate' Even More Embarrassing

On Friday, we all had a good laugh about California Gov. Gavin Newsom and the nut-crunching way he was sitting onstage at a New York Times event.

I thought for sure that story would just disappear into the news-cycle ether, but thankfully, the dopes who work in his press office managed to keep it going, and maybe made things worse.

If you missed part one of this thrilling series, Newsom was speaking at the New York Times Dealbook Summit and sitting in a way that would annihilate the family jewels of most human males. 

We all had our fun and were about to move on when someone who should probably be getting a pink slip thought, "No, we must address this."

And so, they did.

And lest you think that was the work of a rogue intern, the man himself gave it a thumbs up.

Suppose Newsom hadn't been all about dumping sand in skateparks during COVID times or been responsible for a myriad of other terrible policy decisions. 

In that case, you'd almost feel bad for how stupidly he and his team handled this one.

Almost.

I don't understand PR people sometimes. Remember, everyone was about to move on from Newsom's nard-smashing, when at almost nine o'clock, his own press office put out that bizarre photoshopped yoga photo.

Can you imagine being in that office and someone says, "I need you to Photoshop Gavin into a yoga pose." You'd be like, "Why?" and they'd say, "Because everyone is making fun of him for sitting like a sissy and grinding his own testicles into a fine paste with his thighs. Maybe throw some hacky line about democracy and flexibility at the end."

You'd be like, "And this solves that problem how?!?!"

It didn't solve it; it made it much worse.

Dude, what are you doing?! The Internet may last forever, but the people who use it have goldfish-like memories. All you had to do was sit daintily on your hands, and by Saturday morning, everyone would forget that you sat like a wuss and go back to driving past Tim Walz's house and offering him the same Thanksgiving greeting he got from the president.

Nope, Gavin and his team are so clueless that they made their own problems way worse.

Sounds like how he governs, though, doesn't it?