Netflix Loses $16 Billion In One Week Over Trans Kids Shows, But There's An Easier Solution

Look, I think the whole ‘Cancel Netflix’ thing is a little silly. I do. Maybe that's not the take I'm supposed to have given the reason folks are allegedly canceling Netflix, but it's the take I'm going with. 

First, some background: Netflix is under fire right now because folks — like Elon Musk — are accusing them of pushing trans ideology onto children. That's a big no-no in this country (or at least it should be). Remember when Target tried to pull a fast one a few years back? Didn't go great. 

Don't mess with our kids. Everyone else is fair game. Not the kids. 

Anyway, Musk recently started publicly bashing Netflix for pushing woke shows on our kids — namely something called Dead End: Paranormal Park, which is a cartoon about a transgender boy who flees his home because nobody accepts him. 

I was more of a Scooby-Doo kid, but whatever. 

Musk supporters say the show's creator, Hamish Steele, recently called Charlie Kirk a "nazi" via his social media accounts, which would certainly explain why Musk is attacking a show that stopped producing new content three years ago. 

Steele, according to screenshots posted to Twitter, claims he never celebrated Kirk's murder.

OK, we all caught up now? Good. 

Now, let's do a quick check in on Netflix's stock price and valuation over the past week as parents threaten to pull the plug on their subscriptions:

Not great for Netflix, but what did we expect?

The fellas in the Analytics Department tell me that's a roughly $16 billion loss in five days for Netflix. That's the bad news. 

The good news? The market cap still sits at a steady $495 billion, so they should be able to survive a few more canceled subs. 

Look, I think it's all a little much. Kids don't control the remote. Parents do. And if kids do control the remote, then whatever they stumble upon ain't on Netflix. It's on the parents.  

If you don't want your kids watching some weird cartoon about a gay kid in a haunted house, then … just don't put it on. Every single TV on the planet nowadays is a Smart TV. And all Smart TVs are capable of doing just about whatever the hell you'd like. Put a parental control on, and move along with your day. 

And I'm not condoning this dumb little cartoon, or Netflix for airing it. I think both are dumb. But I also don't want my kid accidentally watching two English smokeshows from the 1700s bang their brains out on Bridgerton. I'm not going to cancel my Netflix subscription just because that show also exists on the same streaming platform. 

I'm just going to … not let my kids control the TV. Their. Fixed it. I'm certainly not going to sit here and take parenting advice from Elon Musk. 

I mean, come on:

Yeah, I'm good, Elon. I'll cancel Netflix on my own terms. 

I feel pretty confident that my four-year-old won't somehow stumble on to  Dead End: Paranormal Park without me knowing about it. And if she does, guess what? I need to do a better job at being a parent. 

For now, we'll stick with Blue's Clues reruns on Amazon Prime.