Meet Your New Favorite Cricketer, Trump Is On A Meme Heater, And Concerns About 'Spinal Tap II'

It's Friday, which means it's about time to continue working in that ass groove of yours for the 2025 NFL and college football seasons, but first, how about another edition of Nightcaps to get it all started on the right foot?

Zach is off this Friday, which means I got the call from the bullpen to lend a helping hand. It's always a pleasure, even if I have to set aside my jokes for this week's edition of The Punch-Up and my complaints for the next Gripe Report.

One of my stipulations for agreeing to help Zach was that I got to plug those…

But he caught me at a weird time. Life is good, what with football coming back into our lives. Unfortunately, I've had a feeling of dread hanging over me because I've been nervous about something happening next week that's been coming at me faster than a Jalen Carter loogie.

The release of Spinal Tap II: The End Continues.

Now, This Is Spinal Tap is my favorite movie of all time. Even though it hit theaters over a decade before I was born, as a comedy-loving, guitar-playing dork, I felt like it was practically made for me.

Had they thrown some hockey or Formula 1 in there too, I'd really start thinking they somehow read my mind years before I was even a zygote. 

It's a comedy classic, one that even the presence of insufferable Rob Reiner can't ruin. I've gone on to love all of the movies in the oeuvre of Christopher Guest, from A Mighty Wind to Best In Show to Waiting For Guffman and beyond.

So I was thrilled for the long-awaited sequel to This Is Spinal Tap… then I saw the trailer.

When it dropped, I excitedly called for my fiancée to join me in my office so we could watch it together. What a gentleman I am.

When it was done. I just sat there.

"I didn't hear you laugh once," she said.

"I mean, I think I did one of those air-through-your-nose chuckles at the beginning, but that was when they were showing clips from the original movie," I responded, staring through my computer screen to see if there were some jokes trapped inside that I had missed. "Did I hear a Stormy Daniels joke? No one has made one of those in like two-and-a-half years."

I've been nervous ever since. I felt the same way ahead of Dumb and Dumber Too.

Comedy trailers can be hard to make, and my hope is that this one was thrown together by a marketing team that isn't as comedy-savvy as the legitimate geniuses who made this film.

I'll still be seeing it and writing a review, so stay tuned. I hope I have good news to report.

But enough about my comedy-sequel-related anxieties, let's have some fun!

I Can’t Stop Watching This Fish Eat A Hot Dog… Or Some Kind Of Cured Meat.

This past Monday was Labor Day, and I was on grill duty. We did some smashburgers and brats, and it was all delicious, if I may say so myself.

So, I had cured meat on the brain this week — who doesn't? — and that might be why this clip of some fish destroying some large, tubular piece of meat caught my eye.

Hey fellas, a word of warning: don't skinny-dip around whatever those things are.

Good lord, I thought Joey Chestnut could put away a glizzy, but that river monster put him to shame.

But was that a hot dog? That was huge. That may have been a summer sausage or some member of the salami.

Whatever it was, it was gone in the blink of an eye. When people look at me like I'm weird for not swimming in lakes, I should just bust out this video. 

Want to know where no one has ever had their toes lopped off by a fish? In a pool!

I May Have Stumbled Across How To Make Cricket Popular

I'm one of the rare 30-year-olds who pays for cable, and I'm always amazed at how much complete nonsense there is as far as channels are concerned.

One of the weird channels I stumbled across is called Willow, and it shows 24/7 cricket.

Now, I've always been fascinated by cricket, but mainly because of how, no matter how much I watch it, I can't figure out what the hell is going on.

One night, I was watching a women's match between the London Spirit and another club, the name of which I unfortunately cannot remember. I sat there with a quizzical expression when I saw someone who I think has the power to become OutKick readers' favorite cricketer.

But Matt, you chiseled Adonis, you; we're all huge fans of Kolkata Knight Riders bowler Angkrish Raghuvanshi. Who could supplant him as our favorite cricketer?

Well, go ahead and say hello to London Spirit bowler Sarah Glenn, and then you tell me.

Are we cricket fans now?

Good, I thought so. Time to try to figure out how the hell the game works!

Man Channels Raygun And David Brent At Town Hall Meeting

I don't know what it is about local government meetings, but they often descend into some kind of modern-day freakshow. Maybe it's because they're usually boring as hell. You can only talk about local ordinances for so long before someone decides to take matters into their own hands and liven things up a little.

Well, one fella named Will Thilly, who shows up to a lot of these meetings in Cranford, New Jersey, went from talking about taxes to cutting a rug like Australian Olympic hero Raygun in an instant.

And it was uncomfortable as it sounds.

Whoa. Bro, didn't even bring a slab of cardboard with him.

This was like a real-world version of one of the greatest scenes from the British version of The Office in which David Brent (who is funnier than Michael Scott, sorry) tries to one-up his rival, Neil, by showing off the dance moves he has been working on.

Nothing like fusing "Flashdance with some MC Hammer s--t."

Thilly is also campaigning for a seat on the Cranford Township Committee, and considering how little people pay attention to local politics, that bit of rug-cutting might win him some votes.

President Trump Continues To Be A Meme Machine

It's no secret that President Trump is a master of social media, but I feel like, as of late, he has been on quite a heater.

He recently posted a clip of Gavin Newsom's head over some guy, flamboyantly punching a heavy bag with his picture on it, and it's hilarious.

The funniest part about this is that I promise you some left-leaning outlet ran a headline about it that read, "Trump Shares Doctored Video Of Gavin Newsom," as if anyone with eyes wouldn't be able to tell.

Though something tells me this isn't too far off from the reality of how Newsom would throw a punch.

Then, the next one the President had up his sleeve made me laugh even harder, and that was Illinois Governor JB Pritzker and former New Jersey Governor Chris Christie sumo wrestling.

What killed me was that Christie was in this one. I get why Pritzker was, given the way he seems hell bent on making sure Chicago stays crime-ridden, but I had almost forgotten about Chris Christie. I know he wasn't a big Trump guy, but I think whoever cooked up that meme just needed another fat guy for Pritzker to wrestle and called Christie off the (heavily-reinforced) bench.

Whenever Trump posts stuff like this, I always wonder how other presidents would've handled social media. Like, maybe Millard Fillmore would've been a meme god. Perhaps William Henry Harrison would've fired off some kickass tweets from his sickbed during his month in office.

One thing I do know: Lyndon Johnson probably would've posted something to get himself canceled.

…

That's it for this edition of Nightcaps! Have yourself a great weekend!