MAGA Beauty Margo Martin Wears A Plunging Dress To Ease Tensions, AT&T Lily Resists & Killer Pinocchio!
Also, Olivia Dunne and Lane Kiffin meet up.
I tell you what, nothing cranks up the heat at a bachelor party quite like war. Imagine my surprise when I woke up Saturday morning after going to bed two hours prior, firing up Twitter, and seeing a tweet from Donald Trump that had nearly 100,000 retweets.
I've done this #content game long enough to know that wasn't normal. I couldn't watch it because the rest of the house was sleeping, but I knew something had happened. I started scrolling, and saw we were currently blowing Iran into smithereens.
I knew the day had flipped on it's head. We were all in the foxhole now. We threw on Fox News, gathered round the TV like a Fireside chat in 1933, and watched our military pound Iran like it was the Red Zone channel.
Don't ask me about the war, because I don't know and don't pretend to know. That's a Hookstead question. This is his Super Bowl. I don't know what's right or wrong. No clue. I do know that NOTHING gets the juices flowing for a big Saturday of a bachelor party weekend quite like the beginning of war.
We played golf later that day. I striped one to within about 4 feet on the 8th hole. The Supreme Leader was nuked as I grabbed my putter and walked to the green. I drained the putt.
What a country.
Welcome to a Monday Nightcaps – the one where MAGA Margo Martin gets the fellas in the trenches fired up to defend our nation.
What else? I've got the best of the rest from a loaded (duh) weekend of #content, this new Pinocchio slasher movie has my brain in a pretzel, and would you give up sports for an entire year for $500k?
No, right? Right??
Grab you a banana crème pie for National Banana Crème Pie Day, and settle in for a Monday 'Cap!
I started my yearly diet today so I can be less fat for another wedding
You guys know the drill on this, right? We've been here a dozen times over the years. Here's the official Mount Rushmore of Pies, for you rookies:
- Key Lime (only from Publix because it's the greatest supermarket on the planet)
- Coconut Crème (only Marie Callender's)
- Apple (this one switches from Pecan to Apple depending on the time of year. Given everything that's going on right now, apple seems like the right move.)
- Chicken!
That's right. Chicken. When was the last time you had a chicken pot pie? It's been years for me. Honestly, maybe a decade at this point. I grew up eating those frozen chicken pot pies, and I still think about them to this day. The best. So underrated. Probably why I need to diet once a year when I have a wedding coming up.
Some folks like to use January as the jumping off point for getting into shape. That's ridiculous. Why? You've still got a ton coming up that you need to be locked in for.
NFL playoffs.
College football playoffs.
Super Bowl.
Daytona 500.
Why would I waste January and February? Can't do it. So, I usually start mine on the first Monday of March. Is it a little uncanny given March Madness is later this month? Sure. But whiskey/water gets the job done just the same as Busch Light.
I also haven't run a single day since September. Not one. That ends today. I'm back to three days a week for the foreseeable future. No carbs, either. Meat, veggies and liquor, just as God intended.
OK, let's get this class started with Lane Kiffin laying the foundation at LSU:
What a weekend of #content!
I mean, we all saw this one coming, right? It was only a matter of time until Lane Kiffin tracked down Olivia Dunne at LSU. Nothing was stopping that train.
Tread lightly, Lane. That's Paul Skenes' girl. He's got a huge tournament starting this week. All hands on deck. No distractions. No nonsense.
Speaking of the World Baseball Classic, let's go ahead and get to the best #content from a war-filled weekend:
This new Pinoccio movie seems wholesome & Margo is ready for war
Just a massive weekend. What a way to start March. This is the month when the new year really starts, in my mind.
March Madness.
NFL free agency.
WBC.
MLB.
Players.
We're defrosting nicely right now. Let's stay hot. Couple thoughts …
1. Good to see Jenny Dell and Tricia Whitaker in a nice little content-off over the weekend.
2. AT&T Lily with Jane Fonda, who is just insufferable. What a fall from grace.
3. Something is off with that Korea team picture, but I can't quite figure it out.
4. The 60 Minutes ticking clock gives me the piss shivers, even during the NFL offseason. Nothing ruins an NFL Sunday quite like hearing that in the third quarter of the 4:25 slate.
5. No shot I'm giving up sports for a year for $500k. That's not even tempting. You have to bump it up to at least a million to even get me out of bed. And even then, I think I'd be beyond miserable.
OK, let's rapid-fire this first-Monday-of-March class into a first-Monday-of-March night. Imagine my surprise when I saw this little movie trailer come across the computer screen this morning:
What a ride. What a concept. This Poohniverse era we're currently living in is something else. For those keeping count at home, this will be the SIXTH installment, joining:
- Winnie-the-Pooh: Blood & Honey
- Winnie-the-Pooh: Blood & Honey II
- Bambi: The Reckoning
- Peter Pan's Neverland Nightmare
- Poohniverse: Monsters Assemble (2026)
And they say cinema is dead. It's never been more alive, folks. Soak it all in. We're living in special times.
Next? Let's check in on how the media is handling the current war in Iran:
It's simply not possible to hate them enough. I left Gannett 3 ½ years ago now, and not a day goes by that I don't thank my lucky stars that I did.
What a miserable – and I mean miserable – existence.
Take us into a new week, and a new month, Margo! She's ready to roll. So are we.
OutKick Nightcaps is a daily column set to run Monday through Friday at 4 p.m. (roughly, we’re not robots).
Did you have a better weekend than Ayatollah Ali Khamenei? Email me at Zach.Dean@OutKick.com.