Known Fugitive Chuck E. Cheese Is At It Again, Kicks Child
I must warn you, this footage is graphic and hard to watch.
Charles Entertainment Cheese, better known as Chuck E. Cheese, has had his fair share of brushes with the law lately.
In July, Mr. Cheese was cuffed and thrown in the back of a squad car in Tallahassee for alleged credit card fraud.
I'm not sure if that one ever went to trial, but suffice to say once is a coincidence and twice is a pattern, because Chuck is at it again.
Video is surfacing online of everyone's second favorite bipedal rat (shout out Master Splinter from the Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles) giving a young child a swift kick in the rear end in front of one of the soccer games at his arcade.
I must warn you, this footage is graphic and hard to watch.
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READ: A Broken Eye Socket & Two Arrests After A Chuck E. Cheese Brawl During 5-Year-Old's Birthday Party
Alright, all kidding aside, there's a lot to unpack here.
We could break this down, Zapruder Film style, but there are a few key points to take away from this video that prove Mr. Cheese's innocence.
Let's start with the fact that it's probably nigh impossible to see out of a Chuck E. Cheese headpiece aside from right in front of you, so peripheral vision is non-existent for our Pele impersonator.
With that said, you can see him gesture for the one kid to his left to move out of the way, indicating his about to kick the soccer ball in front of him.
As he's getting in position to kick, the young girl who ends up being the victim of the kick darts in between Chuck and the soccer ball right before he lets loose.
He seems very apologetic after the fact (though he never breaks character and says anything), and the parents take it in stride too.
Seems like an open and shut case to me, and the commenters on X agree with that assessment, overwhelmingly coming to the defense of the pizza-obsessed rodent.
I know it's easy to cast aspersions based on Chuck E. Cheese's previous criminal behavior, but if we treat this as an individual case, it's a non-story.
Mr. Cheese is innocent, and I'm glad the internet sees it that way too.
Now let's all let Chuckmeister get back to what he does best: making mediocre pizza and never fixing his broken arcade machines.