Kirk Cousins Might Be Shaving His Armpits, Lisa Rinna Gets Naked For The New Year, And It Might Be Time To Wash Your Jeans
What do Kirk Cousins and Lisa Rinna have in common? Both are heading into 2024 freshly shaved and topless.
Welcome to Nightcaps - where we shave it all off then show it to the world!
In addition to feeling bald (in certain places) and beautiful, we'll uncover the reason why Mike Vrabel's wearing Tiger ears, the price of a Cheez-It hot tub for your home and answer the age-old question of how frequently you should be washing your jeans.
Yeah, apparently they are supposed to be washed.
Who knew?
If that, or a 60-year-old naked Lisa Rinna doesn't do it for ya, I don't know what will.
So grab those razors, lather on the shaving cream and let's get this hairless party started.
Lisa Rinna (Probably) Says 'Happy Nude Year'
You may know Lisa Rinna from one of those Housewives shows or Melrose Place or because she's married to actor Harry Hamlin. I know Lisa from her memorable one-episode roll on Entourage where she played Donna Devaney and cozied up next to Johnny Drama in a hot tub.
It's an all-timer for Entourage fans.
But that's neither here nor there. The real story is that Rinna spent her new year getting naked...in front of a camera...again.
Lisa Rinna started off the new year by shedding her clothes. (Photo by Dave Benett/Getty Images)
Back in July, Rinna posted a naked photo of herself to celebrate her 60th birthday. Some people celebrate with cakes and candles, others celebrate with nudity. To each their own!
On Tuesday, she repurposed the photo with fireworks covering her nipples and a cartoon cat covering the spot you would guess it would be covering. This was a change from the birthday photo which covered her privates with gold hearts.
Lisa does not lack for creativity.
"HAPPY NEW YEAR! 2024 STARTING IT OFF FRESH," a seemingly body hair-free Rinna captioned her IG post.
Can't wait to see what Lisa has in store for when the ball drops in 2025.
Kirk Cousins Doesn't Have Armpit Hair: Is That A QB Thing?
From one hairless celebrity body to the next we go. And that means you, Kirk Cousins. If you missed it, a couple days before Lisa Rinna was baring it all for her 3.7 million Instagram followers, Cousins was shirtless, leading the Vikings' crowd in their customary Skol chant just prior to kickoff.
Though most would notice one of two things: Cousins' awesome gold chain or the fact that he appears to be skipping meals, the OutKick staff caught something else.
Like an Olympic swimmer or WWE superstar, Cousins is hairless under his arms.
Consider me puzzled. What's the reason for a 35-year-old man's underarms to resemble the head of Scott Van Pelt? Is there an advantage to doing so at the quarterback position? Are aerodynamics at play? Is it common place amongst QBs?
Lucky for you, I put on my Big J journalism hat and got to the bottom of these pits. First, I reached out to Cousins' PR team. As you might expect, I haven't heard back...The guy's currently on IR, would it pain his peeps to shoot back a standard "no comment?" What else do they have to do?
I don't know. Maybe they're saving this information for Netflix's Quarterback season 2.
To most, this is just Minnesota Vikings quarterback Kirk Cousins. To OutKick, this is man with no armpit hair. (Photo by Nick Wosika/Icon Sportswire via Getty Images)
Next, I reached out to Donovan McNabb. The retired signal caller is one half of OutKick's The Five Spot With Donovan McNabb podcast. Being an OutKick teammate, you'd think McNabb would help me out.
Nope.
The other half of the podcast is our own Armando Salguero. I love Armando, but I hope to never discuss armpit hair with him. I'm sure the feeling is mutual.
Needing answers, I turned to former Louisiana Tech quarterback Matt Kubik. Since taking snaps for the Bulldogs, Matt has coached at the D1 level for more than a decade. He was most recently the offensive coordinator at the University of Louisiana at Monroe. In other words, he knows about QBs, and presumably, armpits.
Matt Kubik could sling it for Louisiana Tech with or without armpit hair. (Photo by Jeff Gross/Getty Images)
Matt and I played high school football together. We connected on one pass - literally one. The result was a gain of roughly 20 yards (it was probably 12, maybe 9) and a fumble. The fumble was caused by Marlin Jackson.
*legend has it the route run was Wes Welker-like and the fumble-causing hit would've killed anyone else*
Jackson, a first-round NFL draft pick, went on to win a Super Bowl with the Indianapolis Colts after a standout career at Michigan. Kubik started at the most important position for a Division 1 team and has since coached numerous NFL players. I ended up writing about 60-year-old naked Lisa Rinna while wearing pajama pants and flip flops.
Life comes at you fast.
Neither Kirk Cousins Nor Donovan McNabb Chimed In
Anyways, I asked Matt if shaved pits is the way to go for QBs and he wasted little time chiming in:
“During spring ball of my junior year I was struggling with my accuracy. My OC suggested that I shave my pits. Of course I was skeptical, but I gave it a try. I came to realize that a shorn underarm created less friction in my throwing motion and my precision was back. I was slinging it better than ever and and it led us to two straight bowl eligible seasons! I’ve implimented the method in my QB meeting room over the years and it continues to produce results. With the new NIL rules, we’ve been able to secure sponsors for the shaving cream and razors. I guess Kirk has let the cat out of the bag, but I hope other QBs will taper down and start spinning it.”
Earlier today, we asked male OutKick followers if they're trimming those underarm shrubs. Unsurprisingly, the results indicate that they're more team landscaping than manscaping:
Mike Vrabel, Cosplay Guy?
From QBs to coaches we go and that includes a tiger-ear-wearing Mike Vrabel. Yep, the Titans coach was spotted earlier this week rocking a tiger ears headband for his weekly radio show, The Mike Vrabel Show.
Unique show title, right? Can't imagine how long they sat in the boardroom before coming up with that one.
Anyways, seeing Vrabes rock a set of fake animal ears in public would lead many to believe this is coach's way of easing into an offseason of cosplay. An offseason that's starting earlier than normal for the struggling Titans.
But Vrabel was wearing the ears for a much more embarrassing reason. As you may have heard, his alma mater, Ohio State, lost to the Missouri Tigers last Friday. Vrabel had a bet with a Mizzou grad producer on the game. And, well, it didn't go well for the former Buckeye.
Look what you've done Ryan Day!
In addition to losing to Michigan for the third year in a row, then dropping a bowl game to Missouri (who knew they even had a team?), Day's forced the NFL's toughest coach into being a fury.
At least Vrabel (who definitely doesn't shave his pits) took the loss in stride, telling radio listeners: "Unbeknownst to me, I forgot they even played. Apparently, Ohio State lost."
Same coach, same.
You're Probably Not Washing Your Jeans Enough
We finally have an answer as to how often you're supposed to be washing the bottom half of your Canadian tuxedos. And it's more often than you, or at least I, think.
Patric Richardson, a laundry expert, who hosts "The Laundry Guy," on Discovery+ seemed to lay down the cold hard facts on jean washing a little over a year ago. For whatever reason, Richardson's suggested wash cycle didn't make much news until the last week when his comments resurfaced and were debated on social media.
"The perfect number is after nine or ten wearings, like to me, that is the ideal," Richardson told TODAY. "At that point, they likely have acquired a few stains and they're probably a little sweaty by that point, so you need to wash 'em."
How often are you washing your jeans? (Photo via Getty Images)
Richardson later added that in between washings, there's a much tastier way to keep your denim clean. "When you get home spray (your jeans) with vodka," Richardson told TODAY. "Vodka, first of all, will remove the odor from anything, but more importantly, vodka is an anti-bacterial."
Now that that's settled, I have two thoughts:
Want to debunk these jean washing/spraying suggestions for a better method? Let me know about through email: anthony.farris@outkick.com or on X, @OhioAF.
Cheez-It Hot Tub Could Be Yours!
Now that we've got you out of those jeans, let's save the vodka and slide into the hot tub with Johnny Drama and Donna Devaney. But not just any box of bubbles, a Cheez-It hot tub.
In case you missed it, during the Cheez-It Citrus Bowl on New Year's Day between Iowa and Tennessee, there was a Cheez-It hot tub occupying the sideline.
You might ask, why?
I ask, why not?
Truth is, I have no idea why it was there, but it looked awesome.
Tennessee players even took a dip after breezing by Iowa 35-0.
Now, that Volunteer-filled hot tub can be yours, for a price. The Cheez-It Bowl hot tub is now listed on eBay. But if you buy, you'll have to pick it up in Orlando. I suggest making a day of it and hitting up Universal, maybe a Magic game, then heading back home with a Cheez-It branded cesspool.
As of this afternoon, the current highest offer was $1,225. Bidding ends Monday, don't wait!
Time To Shave, Let's Do This Again!
This armpit hair isn't going to shave itself and I've only got so much time to work on my 2025 nude New Year's post, so I've gotta get to it. We'll do this again next week, potentially with less hair involved. Until then, enjoy the clippings!
*Nightcaps publishes at roughly 4pm Monday through Friday.
Follow along on X: @OhioAF