Just How Cold Is It Supposed To Be This Weekend?
Time to panic buy some toilet paper!
I'm not sure if you've heard the news, but it's supposed to be a little chilly across much of the United States this weekend.
We do this every couple of years (damn you, global warming, and your *checks notes* cold as hell winters), but this year's edition of the polar vortex has people in a full-blown panic.
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As is usually the case, there have been reports of "panic buying." It's your usual suspects: bread, milk, and toilet paper, for some reason.
While some are stocking up on silly and frivolous things like food and batteries, others really understood the assignment this time around.
In all seriousness, though, this winter storm is nothing to joke about.
For instance, check out how cold it's getting in Minneapolis, where you can't even have a nice, hearty plate of pasta on your back porch without Mother Nature ruining your afternoon.
With how prevalent AI videos have become in today's day and age, it would be easy to dismiss this as just another fake video. But I assure you, this is very real.
What's even more unbelievable is just how weird the temperature differences are throughout the US thanks to this storm.
For instance, it's colder in Lubbock, Texas, than it is in one of the northernmost settlements in Alaska.
Of course, it could be a lot worse.
As I noted a few days ago, there's a winter storm going on in the far eastern Russian peninsula of Kachatka, which has snow piled so high that kids are literally sledding down from the roofs of high-rise apartment buildings.
Russians are just built differently. What else can I say?
Even the state of Florida is experiencing some bitter cold relative to what they usually deal with 11.5 months out of the year.
If the meteorologists' models are correct (which are typically about as trustworthy as single-ply toilet paper), we may see snow as far south as Tampa next weekend.
As for those of us in South Florida, we aren't supposed to get any snow, but I may actually have to put a hoodie on next week, which is pretty unprecedented in these parts.
Please pray for me during these difficult times.