Jordon Hudson Covers Her Body With The World's Thinnest Rope, USA Baseball Debacle & Danica Talks Threesomes!

Middle Hump Day of March, boys and girls. Lock it in. It's getting serious now. Two weeks from today, we'll be in April. That's right. 

Two weeks. That's it. This is the time of year when the calendar really starts to kick into high gear. January and February drag. They just draaaaaaaaaaaag. It's cold. You're snowed in. The fall sports are winding down. The winter ones don't matter yet. The spring ones haven't started. 

But then March gets here, and things start to ramp up. You blink, and it's March Madness. You blink again, and it's The Masters. Blink again, and you're grilling MEAT on Memorial Day weekend. 

Strap in. Now, we go. 

Welcome to a Hump Day Nightcaps – the one where JordOn Hudson cements her status as the World's Hottest Fisherwoman as her and Bill navigate spring practice. 

What else? I've got more fallout from last night's WBC debacle, the NFL takeover continues, Bill and Hillary are clearly struggling, and Danica Patrick talks threesomes with a Sexologist. 

So, you know, Hump Day stuff. 

Grab you one of these badass new Budweiser cans, and settle in for an HD 'Cap!

I still can't believe what I watched last night 

Before I slam Mark DeRosa, we have to talk about those beauts. Perfect. No notes. 10/10. 

I tell you what, credit to Anheuser-Busch, because they have more than rallied from their all-time low in 2023 when they got in bed with Dylan Mulvaney. 

Some companies lean into the BS. They did not. They pivoted – after a few months in the red – and it's been a complete 180 ever since. I'm a Busch Light guy myself, and they have some insane fish cans out right now, but these things are worth whatever it takes to buy them. Take my money, Budweiser. It's yours. 

Also, we all agree that the Reds one is the best, right? Either them or the Cardinals. Not sure why the Rays are on there, but whatever. 

Anyway, kudos to Budweiser for the perfect campaign, and the perfect can. What a comeback. 

Speaking of things – and people – that need a major comeback, let's start class with Mark DeRosa and Team USA absolutely collapsing last night in quite possibly the biggest gaffe on a national stage that I have ever seen:

Bill's had enough

I've written about this twice today. Twice! It's our biggest driver-of-traffic on Facebook right now, which sort of bolsters my argument from last week that folks DO care about the WBC. I knew y'all did. I was right. 

And that's what makes this all the more inexcusable for Mark DeRosa. People CARE about this USA team. TV ratings are up 150% (!!!). The buzz is off the charts. Finally. After two decades of the WBC, people finally care. 

And then DeRosa sent out his B-team in what turned out to be a MUST-WIN game because he thought we'd already punched our ticket to the next round. Amazing. And now, we all have to take a quick math class before dinner so we can figure out who – and what – to root for in tonight's Italy-Mexico game. 

Here's the easiest way to follow, from what I've gathered:

Italy simply winning is the cleanest path to the quarterfinal for the USA. No questions asked. We're in. 

IF Mexico wins, we need them to score at least five runs. That's it. We need RUNS, folks. That's it. That's the name of the game. If we can somehow get this to a 4-4 tie early on, we can all go to bed, because it clinches it for us. 

BUT, that's not the point. The fact that we're even doing this is beyond absurd. I like Mark DeRosa. I think he's the best MLB TV guy on the planet. Him, Flores and hot Lauren Shehadi (Nightcaps OG) on MLB Central all season is excellent TV. 

But this simply cannot happen. Win, lose or draw, DeRo is probably done after this WBC. You don't come back from this. 

And, frankly, neither does a marriage … from THIS:

A tale of two Bills, the NFL takeover continues & Danica!

Amazing stuff here from the former president. Does he still have the fastball, or what? Joe wrote about it this morning with grace and aplomb:

You make the call here. 

I know what my eyes see, and it's clear as day that Slick Willy Bill Clinton, who has made some questionable decisions in his lifetime, nearly pushed Hill-dawg, dressed like Kim Jong-un, right into traffic on east 26th Street and Madison Ave. in New York City. 

There were two pushes. Look at how the Secret Service holds up for traffic. Not Billy. He extends those arms twice with pushes to Hill's back and shoulders as if to say, why don't you take a few more steps out into the street and into the path of a Suburban flying down Madison Ave. 

I agree with Joe. That's a push, clear as day. I also need to know the backstory on Hilary's pantsuits. Why does she always dress like Kim Jong-un? I've thought about that for YEARS. Double-breasted suit? What's the deal with that? I don't get it. Bill's clearly done with it, too. 

Speaking of horny Bills … let's rapid-fire this Hump Day into a big hump night and cast a line with JordOn Hudson!

Whoaaaaaaaaaaaa Nellie! JordOn Hudson is back, baby! It's been a while since the First Lady of Chapel Hill checked in, but, clearly, the wait is OVER. 

Somewhere, Pablo Torre's head is spinning. This must infuriate him. I'm sure he's already doing a deep dive into this outfit and trying to see what dirt he can dig up over it. Sometime around June, he'll drop a YouTube video accusing her of using school funds to pay for it. Watch. 

Not me. Not us. Not here. Not today. We're #TeamJordOn here at Nightcaps. Anyone who goes fishing dressed like that is welcome to this class any damn time. 

Next? Was last night one of the sneaky best sports nights ever? Better yet, will this upcoming Thanksgiving week top it? 

Perhaps. 

This was only a matter of time, right? I don't hate the move. I know folks will say, "It's too much already!" and I get that …

… but Thanksgiving Eve is ripe for the picking. 

We're all home. We're all packed into a house like sardines, slaving away in the kitchen, getting ready for the big day. Why not put an NFL game on at 8 p.m.? Seems like an easy call. The Christmas Day stuff is overkill to me. I don't think the NFL needs to have three games on Christmas Day every year. We're busy. We're doing things. 

But Thanksgiving Eve? Absolutely. Easy call. 

OK, that's it for today. Solid Hump Day. Here's Danica Patrick and renowned Sexologist (whatever that means) Coral Osbourne talking about threesomes (45-minute mark), among other things. 

Food for thought!

OutKick Nightcaps is a daily column set to run Monday through Friday at 4 p.m. (roughly, we’re not robots).

Did DeRo screw the pooch? Email me at Zach.Dean@OutKick.com.