Heidi Klum Busts Out At The Oscars, SNL's Dumb Shane Gillis Decision & Casey Anthony Is Back
What a weekend. My chest feels like it's going to explode, my morale is low, my brain is still foggy. I saw things I can't talk about. Won't talk about. Don't even want to think about.
But I saw them. And they're forever burned into my brain. It's my burden now.
Here's another pro-tip: if you're gonna schedule golf on Day 2 of a bachelor party, it's not possible to schedule it late enough. We thought we'd be in the clear by noon. I don't think anyone hit a ball straight until Hole 10. At one point, I topped a hybrid literally into the ground. Didn't think that was possible. I plugged my own ball (hey now)!
I can't even look at my credit card bill today. I'm scared. May just close the account altogether and make a run for it. We'll see.
But, this isn't about my poor decisions. This is about starting the month of March with a bang. We pick ourselves up, dust ourselves off, and get back to pumping out #content like true patriots. Let's pump.
Welcome to a Monday Nightcaps – the one where we enjoy a big Oscars night with Heidi Klum, and go from there.
What else? I've got the best of the rest from a loaded weekend of #content, SNL making just the dumbest decision with Shane Gillis on Saturday, and Casey Anthony – yes, her – is somehow BACK in the news in 2025.
She's following the OJ route. You'll see. Hello, Twitter world!
Grab you something alcoholic – I won't be, but you should – and then settle in for a first-Monday-of-March 'Cap!
Pretty up and down Saturday for SNL
It's rare that I start a class with SNL, which has been just awful for years now, but #thepeople are still talking about Shane Gillis today so I'm gonna go ahead and jump in as well.
First off – the CouplaBeers skit? That doesn't happen without Shane Gillis. I'd venture to say he wrote the whole thing. SNL isn't capable of funny things like that anymore on its own. Same with the newscast segment.
It's amazing what happens when you stop being full of gaslit crap and start joking again:
Yes, the answer is yes. Easy. But, it's not and it won't be. You know how I know? Because the showrunners are maybe the biggest idiots on the planet.
How in the hell do you open a Shane Gillis-led episode of Saturday Night Live with a Trump skit … and not use the best Trump impersonator on the planet?
Someone needs to say it, so I will: SNL's Trump guy is horrible. This James Austin Johnson fella? Awful. No idea who he is beyond what I see on SNL, and it's honestly the worst Trump impression I've ever heard.
Why the idiots who run that show decided to forego Shane's Trump for this piece of trash impression is beyond me.
Impressively stupid:
What a weekend of #content
Yeah, I mean, what are we doing here? It's not even close. Baffling decision. But, that's SNL for you in 2025. One step forward, two steps back.
Oh well. Onwards.
Let's get to the #content from a big weekend. Now, I missed most of it because I was battling my own demons in St. Augustine, but that doesn't mean I didn't save any of the good stuff for you fine folks.
#RoarLionRoar:
Heidi, Casey & the Gulf of America!
Goodness gracious me. What a weekend! Coupla thoughts here, so bear with me …
1. Sarah Palin out of nowhere in 2025! She's still such a pistol. We came so close (not really) to having a really special White House back in 2008:
Yeah, I mean … she gets it. Firecracker.
2. The Lib crying about Zelensky? Insane stuff. I'm so tired of this Zelensky nonsense. Enough with the gaslighting.
This guy has been scum of the earth for three years now, and Trump and JD finally called him out on the BS. He doesn't care about his people. He doesn't know his ass from his elbow. He only wants money. That's it. War = $$. It's that simple. He's a disrespectful little dork who needs a spanking and a timeout. There, I said it.
3. This Michelle Wu is such a lunatic. I lived in Boston for four years under the Menino and Walsh admins, and while they were Libs, they were nothing compared to this psycho. She's disgusting and I'd be so embarrassed to live in that city now. What a shame, too, because it used to be such a great place.
That enough piss and vinegar for y'all today? Good! My mental clarity is coming back! Let's rapid-fire this bad boy into a big Monday night before I feel sad again.
First up? Speaking of triggering the Libs, how about these hats the First Lady made for the Bachelor Party this weekend? These are originals, straight from her fancy iPad pen, and they are perfect:
Do we have the most America-first First Lady of all time, or what? Shockingly, we didn't get stopped by one angry Lib this weekend in downtown St. Augustine, and that's saying something given some of the things we saw.
Who wants one? Nightcaps students get first crack at ‘em before the public. Let's trigger some aunts. Don’t say I never did anything for you!
Next? You know who ain't getting one? Casey Anthony.
That's right. Casey Anthony. Remember this awful woman? She is inexplicably BACK:
I cannot believe this chick is relaunching her life as a TikTok influencer who claims to be some sort of lawyer/advocate for the … LGBTQ community? Wild stuff. Did NOT see this one coming in 2025. I knew we'd get weird this year, but this one is next-level.
PS: the Casey Anthony verdict was my generation's OJ moment. I was a senior in high school mowing lawns for a company I eventually got fired from when the verdict dropped. We listened to it from the radio in some dude's driveway. It was as stunning as it was disgusting:
Cannot believe it's been 14 years since that day. Wild. Anyway, if you have any legal troubles, call up Casey Anthony! What a world.
Finally, let's end the day with a properly dressed Heidi Klum at last night's Oscars.
Take notes, Zelensky.
See you Wednesday.
OutKick Nightcaps is a daily column set to run Monday through Friday at 4 p.m. (roughly, we’re not robots).
How would your liberal aunt like that hat at Easter dinner? Email me at Zach.Dean@OutKick.com.