Hawk Tuah Girl Rises From The Dead After Scamming Millions, But She Doesn't Owe You Idiots Her Fake Tears

Look, I don't know anything about this Hawk Tuah situation. Nothing. I'm not nearly well-versed on the whole memecoin thing to give you a smart take. 

I have a shit-ton of Microstrategy in my portfolio. That's about it for me as far as crypto goes. So don't ask me, because I don't know. Bitcoin is great. I love it. Do I have any clue what the hell it is? Nope. Not one. 

Anyway, while I can't give you a smart take on buying and selling crypto, I CAN give you a smart take on being an idiot. It takes a dummy to know a dummy, and I'm a dummy. Have been my whole life. 

Made a lot of mistakes. Done a lot of dumb things. You've heard the spiel before. 

I say all of that to say this … this Hawk Tuah chick – AKA HaHaliey Welch – who scammed millions of people out of thousands of dollars with her stupid coin late last year has nothing to be sorry for. Not one thing. 

Welch stunned the world Thursday when she reappeared out of NOWHERE after months of silence, and she gave this whole speech about how sorry she was, and how she didn't mean it, and how she was donating all the money to stupid dogs or something. I don't know. I don't care. 

Here's my point: While Hawk Tuah may be an idiot  – she is – she didn't make any of you dummies who bought her stupid coin do it. There was no gun to your head, as far as I know. 

If YOU chose to buy some dumb coin, and YOU lost millions of dollars because it was a scam, that is on YOU. Not Hawk Tuah. You. 

And it's about time someone said it!

I'm not with Hawk Tuah girl, but I'm also not against her

Yeah, wipe away the fake tears, Haliey. We don't need them. The dummies who bought a stupid coin don't deserve those tears. You didn't make them buy anything. They did it, they deserve whatever happens next. 

That's how I feel about all of these memecoins people are coming up with. Like the Trump coin he launched after the inauguration. People got rich off of it. Good for them. I wish I knew anything about it so perhaps I could be rich, too. Sounds like a fun life. 

But Trump didn't make them buy it. They bought it, and they made money. If they lost money, it wouldn't be Trump's fault, either. I know the Libs would blame him, but they'd be wrong, as usual. 

I'm not telling you this Hawk Tuah gal ain't insufferable. She is. I called it last summer. I told you she'd get really annoying, real fast. And she did. 

But dummies kept listening to her podcast, and watching her TikToks, and following her on social media. They gave her the power, and she used it to become rich. And if you fell for that trap, that's on you. Don't be dumb. Be smarter. 

Have common sense. Isn't that what our great president said a few weeks ago? Listen to him. He's smart. You're not. 

Now, I'm off to check my Microstrategy stock so I can dream about retiring early. 

Let's have a Friday.