Erin Andrews Joins The No-Pants Trend, Panhandler Alyssa Milano In Cabo & Lane Kiffin's Girlfriend Says HBD
Over the hump and through the woods!
We're barreling toward the weekend with enough piss and vinegar to last us a month (again, no clue what it means), so let's keep the momentum up for just a few more classes before the sweet smell of a Friday night helps us drift off into a weekend of shenanigans and tomfoolery.
I'll be honest – sometimes, I have no clue how to start class. When that happens, I just sort of take the Michael Scott approach and string together as many big words as possible and pray to God I land in an upright position.
I think I did that today. It was touch and go there for a bit, but I feel like we're ready to jump in now. So, let's get off our asses and jump.
Welcome to a Thursday Nightcaps – the one where we check in with Erin Andrews as she takes all that above piss and vinegar and uses it to pump out an electric photoshoot on her 46th birthday.
Pants? Where we're going, we don't need pants.
Thanks, Doc! Now, what else?
Well, we had an absolute slobberknocker in the SEC softball tournament yesterday, so we'll check in with the ladies down in Auburn. I heard ESPN's Alyssa Lang may stop by, too. She's an absolute STAR over at the World Wide Woke Leader, and she's firing on all cylinders right now.
I'd like to also say happy birthday to Lane Kiffin – with the help of girlfriend Sally Rychlak, of course – check in with Brittany Mahomes, and then head over to the MLB offices to see how they feel about Marcell Ozuna leading the league in dingers.
Spoiler alert: they ain't thrilled!
The First Lady has a fever, so we're gonna thread the needle today and MOVE. Hold on tight, grab a butterscotch brownie for National Butterscotch Brownie Day, and settle in for a Thursday 'Cap!
The SEC softball tourney is electric
Who had starting class with the SEC softball tournament on their Nightcaps bingo card? Don't lie. Hell, I didn't until about five minutes ago.
But here we are – and for good reason. This thing is electric. I know softball pitchers are built for the long haul because throwing a ball underhand is the natural arm motion, but I even did a double take at this Sydney Berzon performance yesterday in Auburn:
Unreal. What a freaking workhorse. Love this girl. The analytical nerds in the dugout must've been furious at this display. But it's the SEC Tournament. Just means more, you know?
You don't pull your ace at 200 pitches. At that point, you might as well just ride it out. You dance with the partner you came with, and if her arm falls off along the way, so be it. Cost of war.
And how about Sid the Kid here putting together this masterclass on the anniversary of the Big Unit mowing down batters in 2001?
God, baseball used to be so great. Just the best era. Steroids, corked bats, Kerry Wood, Pedro, Randy … what a time.
Anyway, back to Auburn … ESPN's Alyssa Lang was on the scene all day and night, and she predictably stole the show:
Erin Andrews still has her fastball at 46
This Alyssa Lang has been going internet-viral for like a week now. Don't know anything about her, but everyone seems to love her. And if she's good enough for the masses, she's good enough for a seat at the Nightcaps table.
So, welcome aboard, Alyssa! (Please don't be woke. Pleeeeease.)
Now, while she's a relative newcomer to the sports reporter game, our very own (and by our, I mean FOX) Erin Andrews is an absolute veteran. She's been around forever, and still sits at the very top of the mountain today. It's not even close, really. She's elite, and has been since Day 1.
Remember our talk yesterday about the new college football game using different announcer combos based on the game's importance? One student passed along this little blast from the past to show just how electric this game used to be:
The best. What a wonderful time.
Anyway, that was decades ago, but Erin Andrews hasn't changed a bit. Seriously. She popped up on my timeline today and apparently just celebrated her 46th birthday over the weekend.
And guess what? Nobody on this planet can rock the no-pants-sweater look like her:
Alyssa Milano is still trying to make ends meet
Another year, another dominant performance from Erin Andrews. Welcome back to class! Cheers to 46 more.
Now, before we rapid-fire this session into a big Thursday night of pre-Friday drinking, let's quickly check in with everyone's favorite baseball mom, Alyssa Milano.
For those who forgot, Alyssa pissed America off a few months ago – including Joe Kinsey and the Screencaps folks in the big boy class – when she started an actual GoFundMe to raise $10k to send her son's travel ball team to Cooperstown.
That's right. The person worth $10 million needed to raise $10k for a trip to Cooperstown. You see why Joe was pissed, right?
Anyway, she got dragged through the mud for weeks. I think at one point, Clay even donated the final $800 to get the kids across the finish line, which was objectively hilarious.
Now, fast-forward a few months, and our girl is BACK in the news. This time, she found herself on a 3k-a-night Cabo Couples trip, according to the NY Post:
Angry MLB, happy birthday Lane & Brittany Mahomes takes us home
We’re told Milano was seen "enjoying downtime" in the private suite, which boasts a personal pool, jacuzzi, private gym, massage suite, barbecue area, garden views, and round-the-clock concierge service.
The opulent accommodations also feature bathrooms with open showers, double vanities and traditional Onsen teak soaking tubs for ultimate relaxation.
There is also a gourmet chef’s kitchen with updated appliances, a chic living room, a spanning dining space and sleek, modern bedrooms featuring plush bedding and soothing neutral tones.
I mean, how about the balls on Alyssa? Seriously. It's so insane you almost have to respect it at this point. Almost.
Panhandling for 10k and then turning right around and jetting off to Cabo for a week is next-level stuff from Alyssa. Posting it on Instagram while busting out of your bikini is the cherry on top.
There are two Alyssas in class today, and only one is welcome back. Hit the bricks, Milano!
Rapid-fire time on the way out. First up? How much does MLB hate Marcell Ozuna being on pace to crank a billion homers this season?
To be fair, it's hard to blame MLB too much here. My wife is a die-hard Braves fan, and I tell her all the time how amazing it is to me that Marcell Ozuna just sort of … got away with everything unscathed. Like, we don't even talk about it anymore.
The guy was suspended for a cup of coffee in 2022 for domestic abuse, and then got a slap on the wrist for a pesky DUI later that year. Now he's just back to cranking tanks for the Braves every single night.
He did give us maybe the greatest arrest video of all time, though:
"Ozuna from the Braves" never gets old.
Next? Since today is apparently the birthday class, let's all wish Lane Kiffin a happy 49th with girlfriend Sally Rychlak!
Can't believe Lane is closing in on 50! Reckon he's doing just fine, though. And hey! The Rebs are supposed to be a WAGON this fall. Can't wait.
Finally, on the way out, let's all welcome Brittany Mahomes back to class. Been a while for the top WAG in the NFL, but the offseason is slowly nearing an exit ramp. OTAs this month, mini camp next, training camp the month after.
And guess what? We get ourselves a brand-new schedule this time next week. One of the most underrated holidays on the sports calendar each year.
Brittany's psyched, and so are we!
See you tomorrow.
OutKick Nightcaps is a daily column set to run Monday through Friday at 4 p.m. (roughly, we’re not robots).
Is Erin Andrews still the GOAT? Email me at Zach.Dean@OutKick.com.