LPGA No. 1 Nelly Korda Hits The Beach, Nick Saban's Daughter With Kalen DeBoer & Movie Theater Brawl
Don't know where you're reading from, but from this Floridian's office, it's officially summer.
My God. It's 96 degrees where I live today. Ninety. Six. It hasn't rained here in months, and now it's basically 100 outside with negative-zero cloud cover.
My yard looks like a nuclear bomb just tore through it. Just a wasteland of death. Nothing is alive. I walked to the truck earlier to get something, and when I got back to my front door I looked like I had just finished a marathon.
I went on a run yesterday – three weeks down, a little over two to go to get back down to 185 – and the inside of my thighs looked like Andy's nipples from the Fun Run episode. Seriously. They're toast.
But, you take the good with the bad. The snowbirds are officially gone. They've flocked their asses back up north for the summer. Good riddance.
The roads are clear once again, the sun is out until 8:30, and you can start a round of golf at 4 and get in 18 (with plenty of gimme 10-footers, of course). If you have the nuts to withstand the heat, it ain't a half-bad way of livin'.
And on that steamy note, welcome to a Hump Day Nightcaps – the one where we hit the links with LPGA star Nelly Korda, Nick Saban, Kristen Saban AND Kalen DeBoer.
What a scramble team! You'll see.
What else? We had an absolute brawl break out at AMC last night – who knew people still went to the movies? – announcer drama in the new EA Sports college football game, and the most insane little league baseball sequence you'll ever, ever, see.
God, I miss those days. Such a better time. Today's kids will never know, and that's a damn shame.
Grab yourself a slice of coconut crème pie for National Coconut Crème Pie Day and settle in for a Hump Day class!
Nick Saban vs. Kalen DeBoer golf swing
Coconut crème pie, by the way, is maybe the most underrated slice of pie in America. I know coconut is a divisive flavor, but I stand by that statement.
And here's a tip: next time you're at the Sam's Club or Walmart, head to the freezer and get you a box of CCP, courtesy of Marie Callender's. Thank me later.
My Mamaw had stacks of those in her freezer growing up, and it's probably why I'm currently jogging in hell on earth to lose 10 pounds before summer.
Just a guess.
Fine! Mount Rushmore of Pies. I think I've already done one, but because the new CMS is awful, I can't find it. So, here's an updated one:
- Key Lime (only from Florida, whilst you're in Florida)
- Coconut Creme (see above)
- Apple (honestly not my favorite but I'm also a Patriot)
- Chicken!
Nothing like a nice thing of chicken pot pie on a 96-degree Florida day! Can't wait for dinner.
Nick Saban would probably throw Oatmeal Crème Pie on that list, although that's not technically a pie. He does love those things, though. So strange.
Speaking of Nick … who ya got?
Kristen Saban resurfaces after a tough week
I mean, Saban by a mile, right? I feel like Kalen can out-drive him based on the fact that he's massive and a billion years younger, but Saban's iron game should more than make up for it.
By the way, how much is Nick enjoying retirement right about now? He just golfs, gets to show up on GameDay every once in a while, doesn't have to negotiate contract terms with teenagers and doesn't have to deal with the media.
Does this look like a guy who misses the trenches?
I said it in January, and I'll say it again here – there is nothing I'm going to miss more this upcoming season than Nick Saban pressers. Nothing. They were the best. I can't believe they're just over. Done. Gone forever. It's so sad.
Anyway, back to some good news …
Nick's daughter, Kristen Saban, resurfaced today after a week full of cheating allegations and deleting social media.
Granted, we only see her back, but it's good to see Nightcaps OG Kristen Saban back in the wild:
LPGA No. 1 Nelly Korda checks in and brings the heat
Welcome back, Kristen! Good to see you. Tough week, but you're a fighter. Can't wait to see those socials fired back up one day.
We're always #TeamKristen over here, especially when the opponent is pumping out content … like this:
Okeedokee!
Next? One more from the world of golf. Can't believe it's taken this long, but let's go ahead and introduce LPGA World No. 1 Nelly Korda to class with the coveted Paige Spiranac approval.
Can't beat that!
Little league, the movies and video games!
Name a more iconic trio from the late-90s/early-2000s. There isn't one.
Nothing like a Saturday morning little league showdown, followed by an afternoon of Halo and a night at the movies with the boys. We were all living in the good old days and we didn't even know it.
Hey! That's two Nard Dog references in today's class. And they say Hump Day ain't educational!
OK, rapid-fire time before my entire yard literally catches fire.
First up? We'll start with … little league! Put me in coach:
Pure, beautiful, raw, unedited chaos. It's perfect, from start to finish. No idea when this clip's from, but it has the internet's attention today for obvious reasons.
The four-person scramble at third is a great start, followed by the sprint out of the box straight to second. Love that move. Chess, not checkers.
But the ball to the face at the end, followed by a flop even LeBron James would be proud of, takes the cake (pie).
And how about the reaction from the first base coach in the 50L red gym shorts? Literally wants to be anywhere else in the world at that moment. Couldn't care less that his first baseman just got knocked out cold.
God, I love this country.
Next!
Not quite as chaotic as the little league video, but still, a ton to unpack here.
What are they arguing about – at a screening of GARFIELD – that led to this mayhem? Maybe they're all just pissed to be there and decided to bash some skulls?
Frankly, I'd get that 100%. Can't think of a worse way to spend a Monday night than by going to a movie theater to watch 100 minutes of Garfield.
And I like Garfield! I used to destroy lasagna back in the day because of him. Again, that's probably why I'm running three times a week in my 30s. I was doomed from the onset.
PS: guy in the black got absolutely embarrassed here. Just a massacre.
PPS: anyone remember that one Garfield comic strip when Jon drank dog semen from a cup? The 90s were awesome:
Honestly, I was gonna say, "that would NEVER work in today's world," but with all the folks out there identifying as dogs and cats and whatever the hell else today, it probably would work. Awesome.
Finally, this move from EA will surely backfire in a few months:
I can't wait for the fake shitstorm this leads to. Mark my words, when Beth Mowins is calling a nooner between Rutgers and Illinois in a few months, EA will be canceled so fast heads will spin.
Luckily for us, this news did lead to a couple gems from the internet:
MLB Network's Ariel Epstein gets us over the hump
Jefferson Pilot! There's a name I haven't heard in a very long time. What a freaking callback. Hell, some of y'all probably don't even remember Jefferson Pilot.
True story: when I went on my duck hunting trip a few months back, they had a TV downstairs that had just the most random channels on it. All the free stuff, basically.
Anyway, I was flipping around one afternoon after slaughtering 20 ducks and stumbled upon a replay from 2002 of an Ole Miss vs. Vandy game. AKA, Eli Manning vs. Jay Cutler. It was on Jefferson Pilot.
I watched every single minute. Again, we had it so much better back then and didn't even know it.
How's THAT for a dose of nostalgia to take you into the night?
And if that wasn't enough, here's MLB Network's Ariel Epstein. You're welcome.
See you tomorrow.
OutKick Nightcaps is a daily column set to run Monday through Friday at 4 p.m. (roughly, we’re not robots).
Which announcer duo scares you the most in NCAA 25? Email me at Zach.Dean@OutKick.com.