Did This Mom Poison A Child Or Teach Him A Valuable Lesson?

Ever lace your kids' lunch with laxatives in order to catch a thief? If you're nodding your head yes, I've got one slick mom who needs your advice.

Our mother in question recently told the parenting site Kidspot she's currently in a pickle because she hid a couple laxatives in her daughter's lunch to try and nab an elementary school crook.

The premise was pretty simple: someone kept stealing her daughter's lunch, so she spiked it was laxatives, had her daughter not eat it, and then report back to her when she got home if any of her classmates had the squirts after lunch.

Right on cue, some lad named Billy (I believe that's a made up name for protection purposes, but whatever) spent days running to the john after lunchtime, which pretty much indicted him as the cafeteria thief.

And now -- whether it be morals or possibly the fear of being locked up for attempted murder -- our detective mother is asking the internet for help as she tries to figure out what to do.

The kicker? Her daughter is facing potential suspension from the school!

"Tell the school there were laxatives in the food because she has been constipated and that it is unfortunate Billy ate the food, but that people need to explain to him that eating other people's food is unsafe," one fellow mom responded to the post.

"Ask the mother why Billy needs your daughter's food. Tell them she never would have given it to him because of the laxatives," another added.

I'm 100% team poisoning mom here

Thoughts? I'm 100000% team poisoner here.

School is ruthless. Elementary school, middle school, high school, doesn't matter -- they're all awful. You wanna know what pretty much every level of school is before college? Just constant bullying and judging and BS from a bunch of snot-nosed brats who don't know their ass from their elbow.

That's it. That's school in a nutshell. Mix in some "high school parties," which seem cool until you get to college and realize what an actual grown-up party looks like, and there you have it.

Anyway, my point here is that it's all the Wild Wild West, and if Billy or anyone else is stealing your food -- you bought it, it's your food -- then it's war. If that means spiking last night's meatloaf with some MiraLAX, then so be it.

Now, some responded to the above post and pointed out the obvious -- that our mom here may be in some legal trouble. To that, I say it bring it on.

"It is illegal to knowingly poison another kid. I'm not even sure you can have unlabeled medicine in a school lunch," a fellow parent wrote.

My response: is it, though? Show me.

"Regardless of behaviour, poisoning a child is neither morally nor legally okay," chimed in a second.

Me: Says who?

"So you are publicly admitting that you intentionally poisoned a child? I’m not saying that taking your daughter’s lunch is okay, but poisoning a child is also not okay. As they teach kids, two wrongs don’t make a right. They can press charges against you," added a third.

Me: Get off your high horse and join the real world. It's a dog-eat-dog world down here. Get on board or get the hell out of the way.

Thoughts?