Danica Patrick And Lara Trump Hit The Gym While The Libs Sit At Home And Get Fat

While all the insufferable Libs sit at home during this Government Shutdown and get fat and smelly, Danica Patrick and Lara Trump decided to hit the gym this week and take on the Pete & Bobby Challenge. 

Choose your fighter(s), America. Hot chicks cranking out push-ups, or Nancy Pelosi smelling like moth balls and trading some obscure stock you've never heard of for what will amount to $1 million profit by Q2 of next year. 

I choose Danica & Lara Trump! So do you, although Nancy's portfolio is tempting. 

Let's dive in:

Danica Patrick is up to something

Didn't even notice our great Director of National Intelligence, Tulsi Gabbard, on hand, too! That's how you stay in shape during a shutdown, boys and girls. Some take their balls and go home. Looking at you, Sarah McBride. 

Others, like the Law Offices of Trump, Gabbard & Patrick, hit the gym and refuse to wither away. This is how you stay one step ahead of the Libs at all times. 

While Katie Porter is out in California scalding her husband's scalp with mashed potatoes – allegedly, of course – Danica Patrick is grinding her ass off in a Washington DC gym. 

And hey! She can walk there alone now, too! Thanks, Mr. President. 

Big few weeks for Danica, by the way. After a relatively quiet spring and summer, she appears refreshed and ready to once again tackle the world of politics. She was a good friend of Charlie Kirk's, which I assume sparked her recent dive back into the political arena, but I think she's up to something bigger. Just a hunch. 

Every few months she surfaces in DC, at the White House, doing some obscure job for a member of Trump's cabinet. I think she's got a few tricks up her sleeve that she may not be ready to reveal just yet, but they're not far off. 

Stay tuned. And stay ready, Libs. Our girls are coming.