Danica Patrick & The Hot White House Babes Give Libs A Fat-Burning Lesson, Maggie Sajak Loves Our Vets & FORE!

A middle-of-November Hump Day? Do not mind if I do! Say no more. I'm locked in. Thanksgiving is BARKING at us, and it's time to get our game faces on. 

Two weeks from tomorrow. Two weeks! No month on the calendar flies by quicker than November. Every year, it gets me. One day you're slamming down candy and watching Michael Myers rip someone's head off. The next, you're carving a turkey and listening to the Peanuts Christmas album (the GOAT, by the way). 

You blink, and November is donezo. We ain't blinking yet, though. Eyes open. Let's roll. 

Welcome to a Hump Day Nightcaps – the one where Danica Patrick and the MAHA girls show the fat Libs how to stay in shape. 

What else? I've got Sophie Cunningham nearly killing someone off the tee, Tiff Ann whipping up some dinner in floral, Maggie Sajak honoring our great veterans in a red dress, and we'll go ahead and meet DC's newest ambassador to India. 

That's right. Sort of. You'll see. 

Grab you some pizza without anchovies on it to celebrate National Pizza with the Works except Anchovies Day (seriously), and settle in for a Hump Day 'Cap!

Watch Sophie Cunnigham at your own risk, fellas

Never been an anchovie guy. My dad loves ‘em. He gets them on everything. I’ve never seen the man eat a caesar salad without one. He eats them out of a can like they're Pringles. It's insane. 

But, to each each their own, I reckon. He's done well for himself. Lord knows I'll never make the money he did. Perhaps I should give them a try. 

Anyway, let's hop right in. It's a big day in the world of golf today, mainly (only) because Sophie Cunningham and Caitlin Clark are teeing it up down here in beautiful, free, dark red Florida. You put Sophie on a golf course with a few drinks and a club in her hands, the possibilities are going to be endless. 

And, right on cue, our girl nearly murdered someone on the first tee:

I'll say it again, CBS fumbled college football in the worst possible way

Masterclass here from Sophie. Once again, she delivered for us. Nobody is better right now. 

By the way, ANYONE who stands right there at a Pro-Am is legit insane. I'm a 14 handicap on a good day, and I wouldn't advise anyone to stand there on one of my tee shots. I don't trust myself enough, and I'm not sure I've EVER hit one like that. 

But still, if I were to do it, I can promise you it would be in this spot. 

Actually, scratch that. Come to think of it, I HAVE hit that exact shot. I believe I wrote about it in one of our classes years ago. 

I was on vacation with my wife's family, and woke up early one morning to play 18 with my brother-in-law. And when I say early, I mean 7 a.m. Just the most miserable time to play golf. I HATE morning golf. Anyone who says otherwise is a psycho. 

Anyway, I was half awake (and half hungover), stood up at the first tee, and shanked the piss out of it right into the putting green off to our right. That's fine, of course, unless there's a group of campers over there gearing up for a big day on the links. 

She was 10. I nearly put one through her skull. I was so mortified, I skipped my breakfast ball entirely and didn't hit another shot until the turn. 

So, yes – the pressure of a gallery is nuts. Was it worth almost dying to hug Sophie Cunningham? Maybe. Don't know that I'd do it, but I can understand the risk. 

OK, enough of that. Let's pivot to something that has absolutely nothing to do with any of this … 

The Big Ten on CBS!

Danica, MAHA, Tiff Ann & Maggie, oh my!

It's just so sad. I said it last year around this time, and I'll say it again now. Has ANYONE watched a college football game on CBS this year? I'm talking during the normal 3:30 time slot when we all, collectively as a country, used to tune in? 

I just haven't. Sure, there have been a couple times I've flipped back and forth. Last week's game between Oregon and Iowa was easily the best of the Big Ten on CBS era. But still … the aura isn't there anymore. 

There isn't a spark. You don't get the same goosebumps you got a few years ago when Brad and Gary introduced themselves from Bama/LSU/Georgia. 

And this isn't a real shot at the Big Ten. I'm an SEC guy, admittedly, but I think the Big Ten is getting screwed here, too. I don't know what the answer is. Maybe it's getting rid of the theme song? Sounds silly, but I honestly think that's half the battle. We will never associate Big Ten football with that theme. It doesn't hit the same when Nebraska-Purdue comes on. 

Whatever it is, I hope they figure it out. It's sad. 

OK, let's rapid-fire this Hump Day class into a big night of humping. First up? The Ladies of the White House had a DOMINANT weekend, led by Margo Martin AND Alina Habba!

Alina, Margo AND Sophie Sorbara in the same room at once? Greatest cabinet in US history, easily. No idea who Sophie is, but she's obviously welcome to this class any time. Welcome aboard!

Next? While those three mingled with the newest Ambassador to India, Danica Patrick was helping Make America Healthy Again with a couple gal pals just down the road:

Nothing like a little MAHA summit on a Hump Day in November. That's how you gear up for Thanksgiving. Love welcoming health guru Liana Werner-Gray to class, too. Red dresses always get an A+ in this class. 

Speaking of … look who celebrated our great vets yesterday!

That's our girl! Maggie Sajak does it again. She doesn't miss. She loves our vets. She loves this great country. While all the Libs were throwing tantrums because Trump joined Pat McAfee, Maggie had her eye on the ball. That's how you do it. 

OK, that's it for today. Here's Tiff Ann in a floral dress whipping up some chicken if you need some ideas for a Hump Day dinner. 

See you tomorrow. 

OutKick Nightcaps is a daily column set to run Monday through Friday at 4 p.m. (roughly, we’re not robots).

You watch the Big Ten on CBS this year? Email me at Zach.Dean@OutKick.com.