Cracker Barrel's New Logo Replaces The Rocking Chair With Virtue-Signaling

Well, don't say I didn't warn you. I tried. I did. But now? It may be too late. 

For a year now, I have been banging the table about Cracker Barrel. I've been begging folks to listen. It started last summer, when they started testing out store remodels. It was a small thing then, but now, it's exploded. 

Nobody likes it, of course. The remodels, predictably, stink. Shocker, I know. Unfortunately, we don't even have time to worry about them anymore, because the wokes who run Cracker Barrel have somehow one-upped themselves. 

Check out the new and … improved? … logo, coming to an I-95 exit near you!

Cracker Barrel is going down a dangerous path

So, here's the thing. Honestly? I don't despise it. I despise the idea of it, because it was completely unnecessary, but I don't hate the new logo itself. 

It's fine. It's not the worst thing I've ever seen, although it certainly ain't the original. But, I'm not going to completely bury Cracker Barrel here. Frankly, they're late to the game on this one. 

Logo re-brands have been going on for years now, and they all suck. Think about all the things we grew up with: McDonald's. Wendy's. Burger King. Taco Bell. Coke. Pepsi. Dunkin'. Starbucks. 

You name it, and the logo has been simplified over the past decade. Maybe a couple times. It's this whole Millennial/Gen-Z push to oversimplify things and make us a minimalist nation, and that pains me to say, because I'm a Millennial! 

Unfortunately, so is Cracker Barrel's new CEO:

Yeah, I can tell you right now, that's not true. Nothing – and I mean nothing – this Julie Felss Masino told Michael Strahan just then was true. It was all nonsense. 

I can promise you, Cracker Barrel store managers were not running up to Julie last week and begging her for a remodeled store. That just didn't happen. Nobody likes the new store, mainly customers. So I can assure you folks aren't champing at the bit to ruin theirs. 

Julie has been doing this for a long time, by the way. She spent a lot of years running Taco Bell. She's been with Starbucks. She's been at Fisher-Price. 

A quick Google search shows me that she's your typical Lib boss who does her best to check all the boxes that she herself doesn't really care about deep down. 

Cracker Barrel's CEO is your typical Lib boss 

For example, did you know that Cracker Barrel is currently under investigation by America First Legal – a non-profit founded by White House firecracker, Stephen Miller? 

You'll be shocked to know that it's over some questionable hiring practices based on – you guessed it – race!

Miller's team submitted a complaint with the U.S. Equal Employment Opportunity Commission earlier this year to investigate Cracker Barrel's employment practices, which they allege "appear to discriminate against employees or prospective employees, solely because of their skin color or sex."

Cracker Barrel's "Be Bold" initiative helps "cultivate and develop Black Leaders within the Cracker Barrel organization utilizing allyship, mentorship, and education to create a path to continued excellence," the chain's website states. 

Meanwhile, the HOLA BRG "promote[s] Hispanic and Latino culture through hiring, developing, and retaining talent within Cracker Barrel." Other BRGs revolve around LGBTQ folks. 

All of this is happening under the thumb of Julie Masino, who looks like someone who LOVES a good DEI program. Again, I've been in that world before Fox saved me. I've seen what goes on behind closed doors. I know exactly who these people are. 

But all of that aside – I know, it was a lot – I'm still not overly outraged by the new design. I'm not. It's fine. The food is still Cracker Barrel food, for now, and that's what I care about most at the end of the day. 

It's just the idea that we have to change everything nowadays that pisses me off. It's not necessary. Nobody wakes up and says to themselves, ‘I’d love to go have a nice Sunrise Sampler at Cracker Barrel this morning, but I just can't get past their logo.' That doesn't happen. Nobody cared. 

Except Julie, who needed to justify her existence and make a splash. 

Well, congrats. You made more than that. You pissed off all your God-fearin' customers by taking the cracker, and the barrel, out of Cracker Barrel. 

Nice going!