Concerning Footage Already Coming Out Of Alligator Alcatraz

Look, I don't know where I stand on Alligator Alcatraz. I'm a Florida guy (duh), and a DeSantis guy, so you'd think I'd be in the ‘pro’ camp. 

But, I also know a ton of Big R Republicans who ain't fans, mainly because of the whole Everglades thing. People are fiercely protective of that place down here – rightfully so – and they're just not pleased with the governor putting a $450 million detainment center on/in it. 

Yes, I know it's on an abandoned airfield. I get it. I'm just the messenger. Don't yell at me. I'm just reporting what I know/hear/see. 

Anyway, like I said – I'm not sure yet where I stand. I do know, however, that this isn't a great look for Florida's newest five-star resort … especially with the meat of hurricane season about six weeks away:

Not a great start to rainy season for Alligator Alcatraz 

Whooooooooooooof. Not great! Don't love that. Not sure I'd call that a flood quite yet, but it's certainly something to address moving forward. It rains in Florida a lot this time of year. Haven't you heard?

I'm not sure it's gone a day without raining in weeks. Weeks. If you don't mow between the hours of 7 and 11, you're playing with fire. It could be sunny one minute, apocalyptic the next, and then sunny again five minutes later. 

In between, it's going to feel like you're in an oven. Seriously, you will not be able to breathe properly. You're gonna question if you're dying, because your body is just not gonna work like it should. 

While that's going on, you're going to sweat like a disgusting pig. You won't be able to stop it, no matter how hard you try. It's going to pour off you at a rapid rate. You'll also start smelling like ass. Just ass. 

To top it off, you're going to get massacred by 4,000 mosquitoes on the walk from the car to the house. It doesn't matter how short of a walk it is. You'll get crushed just the same. I promise. It'll be a bloodbath. 

So, yes – it's GREAT down here this time of year! And we haven't even gotten into Hurricane SZN yet. Not truly. I know it technically started, but it really doesn't crank up until the middle of next month. 

Which is why someone running the show at the Alligator Alcatraz Inn should probably button some things up before it gets here. 

Just a thought.