Chipotle Discriminated Against The Untattooed To Hit Its Biggest Sales Day Ever
Won't someone think of those of us who aren't cool enough for tattoos?!
That's it… I'm done being discriminated against because I'm not cool enough to get a tattoo!
Sure, I don't have to worry about wearing sleeves that cover my arms completely for certain jobs, but dammit, I sure would've liked some BOGO Chipotle….
According to NRN, back on March 13, the burrito-slingin' chain held a promotion called "Tatted Like a Chipotle Bag," and it was pretty simple: if you showed up with a tattoo, you could get a free entrée with the purchase of another.
While this sounds super niche, it actually turned out to be the chain's most successful day ever, with sales jumping 10 percent over its previous biggest day on record, which was National Burrito Day 2024.
Cool… for those of us with ink. I mean, not all of us are John Stamos.
Chipotle discriminated against those of us without ink all the way to their most successful day ever. (Getty Images)
I'm not a tattoo guy for a lot of reasons.
For starters, I suffer from pretty serious buyer's remorse, and that's not really good when you're talking about getting a permanent picture drawn onto your bicep.
I just know that I'd go in, get a bald eagle writing on a tank or whatever, and then the next day I'd be flexing in the mirror thinking, "Crap, I should've gotten ‘Perseverance' written in Japanese lettering instead."
Also, I don't think tattoos would work on me. I'm not saying I think it would be like putting a bumper sticker on a Rolls-Royce, but maybe more like putting a propeller beanie on a Honda CR-V.
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And that's frustrating, because, due to my buyer's remorse and lack of inherent coolness, I would've had to pay for two entrees had I happened to get a hankering for Chipotle that day.
Of course, Chipotle was allowing people to show up with temporary tattoos or even hand-drawn tattoos, but I couldn't have done that either.
I just don't want to have to explain to my wife that I drew a tiger on my forearm in Sharpie because I was looking to save about $13.
That might make her start questioning her decision-making more than she already is.