Britney Spears Gets Naked On A Beach, Iowa Swim Team Escapes To Miami Pool & UConn Students Crushed $2 Beer Night

Everybody come on in and gather around the fire -- it's cold, even in the great state of Florida! Now, is it too cold for the pool or beach? Not according to Britney Spears or the Iowa swim team, but for us locals, it's downright bitter.

Yes, I know -- Floridians complaining about a high of 50 yesterday is rich when most of the US of A is in the single-digits or negatives, but whatever. I hate it. It's why I left Boston after college. Couldn't get out of there fast enough, and this was before it became the liberal hellhole it is today.

I was on a walk with my toddler last night and my drinking-hand designated to hold the Yeti of whiskey during our walks started going numb about five minutes in. And just like that, after a full two days of winter down here in Florida, I was done with it.

Why anybody lives outside the tropics is beyond me. I don't get it.

On that note, welcome to a Thursday Nightcaps -- where we're gonna escape the Midwest freeze with the Iowa swim team and check in on perfectly stable Britney Spears. Can't think of a better way to start class, if we're being honest.

Along the way I'd also like to 1) thank the UConn men for covering the -2.5 first half spread last night, and 2) check in with the students after a night of $2 beer. What a promotion.

We're also going to check in with the Dallas Cowboys cheerleaders, who claim they were bullied by the Packers last Sunday, and then head BACK to the sky with the drag queen CEO over at United.

Seriously, why would anyone fly again? I'd like to go ahead and declare 2024 the year road trips officially make a comeback. We need to simplify life again.

OK, notebooks out, pencils sharpened, listening ears on -- it's class time.

United CEO seems perfectly suited for his job in 2024

Yeah, I'd love to start with the Iowa swim team or Britney Spears, but they're gonna have to wait. Sorry, but there's more drama in the aviation industry that has to be addressed.

Let's recap ... in the last two weeks we've had:

And now, this:

Iowa swim team warms up in Florida

Like I said -- 2024 is the year the road trip returns. Has to be. How can you watch that and ever book with United again? We get more ass-backwards in this country by the day.

I think the only time I'm ever flying again is with Sully or Denzel in the cockpit. That's it. Remember Denzel in that wild movie, Flight? What a ride that was for two hours. He just did cocaine all night, woke up, slugged down a few nips of vodka and then landed an inverted plane into a field like it was nothing.

As for Sully -- did you know the Miracle on the Hudson turned 15 earlier this week? Still remember that like it was yesterday.

Birds.

Electric movie from Tom Hanks, by the way. Nobody has the airplane disaster movie market cornered quite like Tom.

Anyway, I've already got a couple roadies planned this summer and I suggest you do the same. Trust me, it's the way to go.

Feel free to venture on down to Florida if you need a place to go. The Iowa swim team did last week and if it's good enough for them, it's good enough for you:

49ers cheerleaders better be on their toes this weekend against Green Bay

Welcome to Florida, Iowa swim team! Sorry it's cold down here right now. We had a wind chill advisory all morning yesterday. Ridiculous.

Oh well -- I see a couple 80-degree days in the forecast next week, so I reckon I'll survive.

Now, let's talk some divisional round football ...

Well, let's first check in with a couple Dallas Cowboys cheerleaders who seem less fazed by Mike McCarthy being retained as head coach and more fazed by what they witnessed against the Packers last Sunday:

Guys ... what the hell? Don't know how substantiated this is -- I would assume there's video out there somewhere -- but I also don't know why she'd make this up, so I assume it's true.

Seems like an odd flex to me, but then again, the Packers don't have cheerleaders at all, so they're a weird organization. If I were these cheerleaders I'd also be irate with Dan Quinn and that pathetic defense.

Hey, fellas -- maybe cover Romeo Doubs one time for me so the ladies can cheer in peace? Goodness. Let's have an ounce of dignity.

Britney Spears is BACK, UConn students had a night & this TikTok chef is full of crap

OK, let's rapid-fire this bay boy into Friday because I have an afternoon of meetings staring me in the face and I'd like to have this done beforehand so I can go off camera during said meetings and mindlessly scroll Twitter for an hour before the "Zoom meeting has ended" notification pops up and reminds me that I was actually in a meeting the whole time.

... allegedly, of course.

First up? Looks who BACK on Instagram, baby!

I know I'm stealing the Britney Spears beat from Anthony Farris, but you have to strike when the iron's hot. Sorry, AF.

And sorry for the non-Instagram link. Britney left Insta a while ago and then came back today with that naked trip to French Polynesia, but decided to set her profile to private.

Apparently, she wants to post naked pics on social media but doesn't want anyone to see? Seems odd, but Britney's an odd bird in 2024. Glad she's back, though!

You reckon any of the tanked Gen-Zers at the UConn game last night know who she is? I bet they don't, which makes me feel unbelievably old:

Yep, my thoughts exactly. I was bored last night and needed a gambling fix just to make me feel alive, so I started looking at the slate of games. I stumbled upon the UConn-Creighton showdown.

When I saw that the Huskies were not only No. 1 in the country for the first time in 15 years but it was also $2 beer night, I hammered UConn at -2.5 in the first half. Easiest win I've had in a week.

When they talk about the intangibles in sports gambling, that's exactly what they mean. Bloodbath from start to finish.

Finally, how about this dummy TikTok chef who clearly has no idea how bad Joe Biden's current economy is:

Elon Musk prefers Javier Milei over sex

Just the dumbest load of crap I've heard in a long time, and that's saying something because I hear a lot of dumb stuff on a daily basis.

FIVE FRUITS? Are you serious? Hey, Chef Will -- you wanna know how much a regular thing of organic blueberries costs at the Publix right now? $10. I kid you not. $10.

My two-year-old loves blueberries, and my wife says they should be organic, which is fine because my daughter is two and I can get on board with not feeding her chemicals.

I went to Publix Tuesday and had to forego the blueberries and convince her to eat strawberries this week because I'm not paying $10 for blueberries. Won't do it. Now, imagine if I bought FIVE things of organic fruit. What a moron.

And you know what? Shopping at Publix is one of my great pleasures in life. Love that place. How about I decide how I shop and what method I use and you leave me the hell to it? If I want to go down each and every aisle and buy random stuff just because it looks good, then I'm gonna do that, Will.

By the way, my trip to Publix earlier this week? $165, and that was with the strawberries and ONE protein. And it was chuck steak. Chuck steak!

Thank, Joe.

Take us home, Elon.

See you tomorrow.

OutKick Nightcaps is a daily column set to run Monday through Friday at 4 p.m. (roughly, we’re not robots).

Who do you reckon Britney Spears would vote for in Iowa? Email me at Zach.Dean@OutKick.com.