Belichick's GF Unleashes A Red Princess Leia Bikini Dress, RFK Blows His Nose At Pocahontas & CNN Is So Stupid

Here we go, boys and girls. Hump Day. I started it by getting fitted for a tux, which, in turn, reminded me of how out of shape I am. Solid way to start the day. 

The good news is, my waist size has only gone up by one in the two years between tux fittings. Feel like that's a huge win given I have two kids. With all the beer I drink, I feel like I deserve a medal for only going up one size. 

Hell, now that Bobby Kennedy's about to be confirmed, these measurements could be out of date come April. MAHA, baby!

Welcome to a Hump Day Nightcaps – the one where we help Bill Belichick's 24-year-old girlfriend swap out Princess Leia's gold bikini for a red one, and go from there. 

What else? I've got the mean girls over at Vogue attacking our great First Lady – not on my watch, witches – chaos over at CNN, the internet quickly ID'ing the hot girl on the cover of New York magazine (another disgusting publication, by the way) and we're going to update the aviation list with an absolutely DOOZY of a video. 

If you fly after this, I cannot help you. You're lost. Bye-bye. 

Grab you a drink, mix it with something 40% or higher, and settle in for a Hump Day 'Cap!

The Liberal women are screaming at the men again

I hate to start class on a downer, but I have no choice. Sorry. The Libs are in such attack mode right now I can't let my guard down. You can. But I can't. It's my burden and I carry it proudly. 

What a day for RFK Jr. This poor bastard has waited his whole life to get back to the White House, only to have the most insufferable person of all – Pocahontas herself – stand in his way. 

I mean, this Elizabeth Warren just will not stop. First she attacked Pete, and now she's gunning for RFK Jr. And here's the nutty part … they used to be on the same team! That's how insane the Dems have become. Look at this picture. 

The one on the left is a lifelong Dem who couldn't take it anymore. The one on the right is the reason why:

But wait, there is MORE!

What a power-move here from Bobby. Just cleans out the pipes while Lunatic Lizzy Warren chews him out. He's so miserable. I don't blame him. 

They're broken. The left is so utterly defeated at this point that all they do is lash out. AOC is batshit crazy. Hot, but crazy. Elizabeth Warren is insufferable. Not hot, but insufferable. 

Hell, they all make Hillary Clinton look tame. This is all they have left. They've lost the power. They've lost the narrative. It's over, and this is their last stand. 

And just in case you thought it was just the politicians that had gone nuts, don't you worry for one second, because it is NOT!

Let's all check in on Vogue AND New York Magazine – a couple out-of-date publications that are so ass-backwards, I don't even know where to begin:

America fights back, CNN is boiling over & happy flying!

My God. What a day. What a 1-2 punch we have here! First, the witches over at Vogue attack Melania – the hottest First Lady of all-time (sorry, Jackie-O!) – while also blowing Dr. Jill and Kamala. Make it make sense! 

I wrote about it earlier for those who really wanna get in the weeds. Bookmark this for later when you're hiding out on the toilet for five minutes of peace. 

I also wrote about the disgusting mob over at NYM taking aim at young Trump voters for … having a good time? I mean, look at THAT cover photo. They're trying to say that's a BAD thing. Oh no, a bunch of white college kids are having fun and voting for Trump! 

Luckily, America didn't fall for that bullshit. Instead, we zoned in on the hot girl in the front and made her a star. 

SMU Anna leads off today's rapid-fire portion of class. Fire away!

Welcome to the show, Anna! God, I love this damn country so much. There ain't another place in the world that pumps out viral stars like we do. 

We get at least one a quarter at this point. Hell, this is already the second one we've gotten this quarter. Let's not forget about the sad Texas fan from earlier this month. Legend. 

Difference here is, the internet took about 4.5 seconds to ID Anna Claire from SMU. Insane turnaround time here. Trump's America, baby! DOGE sets the tone on being efficient, and the great Patriots are following suit. Love it. 

CNN, you loving this new vibe?

Oh my God. That might be my favorite CNN moment ever. You heard it here first, folks – by nightfall, the American women in this country will NOT be able to buy blueberries anymore because the illegal aliens have been deported. 

Read that again. Really, really read it. This sort of idiocy doesn't come around often. We live in a really special time right now, and I need everyone to appreciate it. It's like the Jordan Bulls in the 90s, or the Brady/Belichick Patriots.

You don't get to witness greatness often, and, often times, you don't realize it's happening until … it's over. Don't let that happen here. 

The dumbassery you see at CNN and MSNBC – and Vogue and New York magazine – is once-in-a-lifetime stuff. Don't let your hatred of them ruin it. Embrace it. Soak it in. It's gonna make one hell of a story one day for our grandkids. 

OK, let's take flight on the way out!

Take us home, Jordon!

This is our first aviation update of the year, which means … we need to start a brand-new list! What better way to start?

In the past month we've had:

• An F-35 literally just fall out of the sky.

That's it! Can't wait to add to this bad boy over the next 12 months. I hope we don't get to, but, unfortunately, I'm sure we will. 

Year of the Road Trip (yes, same slogan this year!) people. Make Our Roads Great Again!

OK, that's all for today. Good class. Heavy on the politics, but it's also Jan. 29. What do you wanna talk about? NBA? Yeah, sure thing!

Take us home, Princess Jordon!

OutKick Nightcaps is a daily column set to run Monday through Friday at 4 p.m. (roughly, we’re not robots).

You get yelled at by a liberal woman today? Email me at Zach.Dean@OutKick.com.