Alina Habba Has MAGA Barking Over Her Birthday Wish, Olivia Dunne Shows Her Legs & Show This To Your Lib Aunt!

Here we are, boys and girls. We've made it. We're here. The big day. THE day. For the 12 of you who showed up today …

Happy Thanksgiving! No idea why you're here other than possibly hiding in the bathroom because your liberal aunt won't give you a break, but if that's the case, stay for as long as you'd like! I don't blame you. I've been there. I've got a cure for you later on in class, if you so choose to use it. Up to you. 

Anyway, welcome to a Thanksgiving Day Nightcaps – the one where we ZIP through class with Alina Habba so we can get back to football. 

What else? I've got lib-trigger topics to have in the holster for dinner in a few hours, JD Vance tells the truth about turkey, and Livvy Dunne shows off her legs for Thanksgiving. 

And if that doesn't get you to stick around a few extra minutes today, I don't know what will!

Grab you another Busch Light as you plan your next move with your LIB aunt, and settle in for a Thursday 'Cap!

(Getty Images)

These 4 topics may save you in a pinch 

It's gonna be a quick class today, for obvious reasons. I've got a turkey to fry, kids to watch, a dinner to drive 30 minutes to (inexplicably), and football to lose money on. 

So, let's dive in and get outta here. For those of you who have Libs over for dinner tonight – and that's most of us – I want you to be prepared for battle. 

I've seen a Thanksgiving go south plenty of times over the years. It's bound to happen today. It just will. I've seen it far too many times in my own family. One Thanksgiving decades ago, my grandma (God rest her soul) left Thanksgiving dinner in tears. What a day. 

My point is, you HAVE to be prepared for battle today, just in case. Here are some topics to have in the holster just in case you need to break ‘em out. Some bullets in the chamber, just in case. 

You are WELCOME. 

1. The border!

Oh, hell yes. You wanna really see your liberal aunt fume, bring up the TOTALLY SECURE BORDER later today. This will get the juices flowing right off the bat. 

Set the tone early with this one. She walks in, you greet her with a hug, offer her a drink, and ask, "Do you want ICE with that?" with a smirk. Or, I don't know, put a ‘LEGALS ONLY’ sign on the front door to greet her. Those are always crowd-pleasers, at least in my neighborhood. 

Either or. Take your pick. Have fun with it. Trump has basically shut down the border completely. It's over. Donezo. We have all the cards on this one. Easy win. 

2. Transgenders in women's sports

Again, an easy win here, and something that will trigger the SHIT out of a LIB today. They refuse to wave the white flag on this one, even though it's a 95-5 issue in America. 

Pablo Torre just ran a six-month investigation on Riley Gaines and refused - REFUSED – to answer Clay when he asked whether he thought men should be allowed in women's sports. 

It's such an easy answer for everyone … except the progressive, gaslighting, full-of-shit Libs. They REFUSE to bend the knee on this one. It's their Everest. This is the hill they've chosen to die on. 

So, let them die on it today. Go to war over this one. After your fifth beer halfway through the Lions game, make some obscure comment about someone on the Lions being a transgender because he's playing like crap – probably Goff because he's on my fantasy team – and let the chips fall where they may. 

Beautiful. 

3. Wear a Freedom shirt to answer the door

This is the Mona Lisa. You want to really set the tone on Thanksgiving? Wear a Charlie Kirk "Freedom" shirt to greet everyone as they walk in. This is the tell-tale sign of who you voted for last fall. It's like seeing an American Flag in the yard. 

When you see that, you know it's a Republican house. And, when you see someone wearing a Charlie Kirk shirt, you know they're a Republican. Or, frankly, just a sane person. 

This will send your Lib aunt into an absolute spiral today. She'll be toast. She won't stand a chance. The Libs HATE Charlie Kirk. Hate him. They so badly want to talk bad about him, and they're just itching for the chance. 

I say give it to them today. Let's see what kind of balls they have. How testy do they wanna be on Thanksgiving? You pull this one off, and you're all in. 

This is the point of no return, by the way. So be cautious. If and when you do this one, there is no turning back. No turning off the spigot. You're committed. 

4. Use plastic EVERYTHING

The LIBS despise plastic. I promise you that your Lib aunt absolutely refuses to use plastic when she goes out. She won't do it. It's paper straws or NOTHING for them. 

Not today. Not at this dinner. At this Thanksgiving table, we use plastic cups to drink our domestic beer, plastic forks to eat our boxed stuffing, plastic knives to cut our dry turkey, and plastic spoons to eat our pecan pie. 

And when you're done, bring out the big ass yard trash can and have everyone throw all their plastic in there instead of the recycling bin right next to it. Because, in this house, ‘We don’t recycle. We're patriots.' 

Lastly, go on some diatribe about how recycling is a myth (it is) and 100% BS (it is) and it all goes to the same place anyway (it does). 

The end. 

Chefs kiss. 

What a day. 

JD's truth-bomb, Alina says HBD & Livvy's Legs

Whew. Didn't think I'd start class with a 900-word essay on how to trigger the Libs, but here we are. Happy Thanksgiving to all! Let's win some battles. 

OK, rapid-fire time because clearly we're all checked out at this point. First up? Listen to your future president here:

Turkey stinks. Nobody, in the history of time, has said, ‘Man, I could really go for some turkey today.’ It's just never, ever been said. 

It's dry. No matter what you do, it will be dry. I pride myself on my turkey. Every year, it's my Super Bowl. But, it's inevitably going to be dry today. Not everywhere, but somewhere. Every time. 

How many menus and restaurants just randomly carry turkey? None. Maybe Cracker Barrel, and that's fair. Golden Corral? The four Bob Evans' that still exist? It's just not a lot. And there's a reason for that. 

But, as our future president said, turkey is delicious today. For some reason, it's excellent TODAY. And, really, tomorrow. Frankly, it's actually better tomorrow than it will be today. 

If you're a patriot, you're dominating some turkey today and tomorrow. Perhaps Saturday. But the rest of the year? You ain't touching it. Ain't even thinking about it. 

It's what makes this holiday special. It's what makes America great. 

Next? Imagine waiting in lines like THIS just to show up and eat turkey for three hours? What hell. Pure, raw, miserable hell:

My God. I went to Publix last night with the kids to pick up some last-minute items, and I was miserable the whole time. Imagine being in California. Just insane. 

Next? Livvy Dunne is a leg-girl, and we are leg-people. It's called being a patriot, Libs. 

Mount Rushmore of Turkey parts? 

1. The skin

2. Thighs

3. Legs

4. Wings

Nobody wants to eat the breast, and that, I can promise you, is the one and only time that'll be said in this class!

OK, that's it for today. Happy Thanksgiving, everyone. And happy birthday to Pam Bondi! 

Take us home, Alina. 

OutKick Nightcaps is a daily column set to run Monday through Friday at 4 p.m. (roughly, we’re not robots).

You talking politics today? Email me at Zach.Dean@OutKick.com.