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We’re two weeks into the NASCAR offseason and I’m already out of things to talk about. Nothing to discuss. No drama. No Instagram trips to break down. No crazy weddings or bachelorette parties.
We’ve got PLENTY to discuss here on this third week of November — also known as Thanksgiving week for those who celebrate. And you all celebrate because you’re all great Americans.
Welcome to another rousing rendition of Monday Morning Pit-Stop, Offseason Edition. The one where I dig for the big stories going on right under our noses while the hardo Big Js worry about Next Gen tests and whether or not Chase Elliott can rebound next season.
We’ll talk Chase today, by the way. He’s got a broken wing!
What else? Bubba Wallace clapping back at the online trolls? Sure! You all love Bubba, and I’m nothing if not a man of the people.
We’ll also visit with Danica Patrick and Kyle & Samantha Busch, who were all at the F1 race in Vegas, and then finish up by revisiting McCall Gaulding’s bachelorette party from two weeks ago because her pickleball attire needs some attention.
Whew. See? We don’t take days off around here. This is where MMPS SHINES, folks. Let’s ride.
Four tires, some fuel for Chase Elliott’s shoulder and enough damn turkey to get me to Daytona … Monday Morning Pit-Stop — the ‘NASCAR Pickleball Wives’ edition — is LIVE!
Bubba Wallace tells the NASCAR haters to unfollow him
Where would we be this NASCAR offseason without Bubba Wallace? Seriously.
Last week he gave us something to talk about when he pumped out a pretty depressing post-race Phoenix Instagram post, and now he’s taking on fire from the Tennessee-Georgia game.
Honestly, it’s a fair point. I’ve never understood the trolls on Twitter who despise someone and constantly jump in their mentions, yet still follow them.
I think it’s because deep down we love to be irritated in this country. We say we don’t like it, but we do. We like the thrill of the dance. Like to feel in control.
Anyway, Bubba wasn’t done with dishing out the Twitter haymakers, either. This time, OutKick’s favorite NASCAR driver took aim at Athletic (yep, still a thing) writer Jordan Bianchi!
McCall Gaulding cements herself as a NASCAR star and pickleball ace
For those who know Jordan, you know damn well what Bubba means. Anyway, Vols lost by a billion Saturday, so I’m sure Bubba had a great time!
Now, back to the NASCAR WAG competition, because it’s the fiercest I’ve ever seen right now.
Remember, the offseason is the time for them to shine. This is their Super Bowl. The NASCAR offseason is the shortest in all of sports, so you can’t sit around and waste it.
If you wanna enjoy yourself and get naked on the pickleball courts, you have to pounce EARLY. And that’s exactly what Zane Smith’s soon-to-be wife, McCall Gaulding, did last week at her bachelorette party.
Remember, we talked about this a week ago and I was astonished at how extravagant it was. Every day was a new theme, a new venture, and a new location.
Well, I thought it ended after three days. Nope. It went to a fourth, and McCall let it RIP from the courts on her way out of single-ville:
From an OG NASCAR WAG to a new one!
Go get ’em, Zane! You got a good one. Don’t screw it up. And McCall — way to set the damn bar this offseason. That’s why we’re the No. 1 NASCAR column in America this morning.
It’s the offseason, so might as well stay in the WAG department for a bit longer.
While McCall is about to tie the knot over the next few months, NASCAR Cup Series driver/Firecracker 400 winner Justin Haley went ahead and got it over with this past weekend.
Yep. He put a ring on it and called it a day. Meet the Haleys: Justin and … Haley!
Danica Patrick enjoys some F1 under the lights in Vegas
Haley Haley!! Unreal. What a name-change. You go your whole life not really having to think about introducing yourself to anyone because why would you?
But then you change your name to Haley Haley and every single introduction turns into a process. It’s never gonna be easy. You’re always gonna have the awkward laugh/pause and small-talk to follow from here on out.
Brutal. But hey, welcome to the NASCAR WAG garage, Haley! Merry Christmas!
From a current one to a former one, let’s now head out to Vegas where Danica Patrick took in the sights and sounds of the F1 race last week that I didn’t watch because it went green at like 1 a.m.
Who does that? Why? Seems like a pretty big missed opportunity there if you ask me. I know it’s for the international audiences, but still. You’re in America. Don’t start a race after midnight, please. Have some respect for us.
Anyway, Danica Patrick was there doing the announcing thing for Sky Sports. The Busch Clan was also there because they’re from Vegas.
Side note: I assume plenty of you (right?) watched the race. How was it? I know the few days going into it were a mess, but I heard the race itself was actually pretty good for F1 standards.
Dale Earnhardt Jr. and Chase Elliott takes us home
Poor Kyle Busch. I say it every week, but that above post may be the worst I’ve seen.
The offseason business of being an Instagram husband can’t be easy, but I reckon it’s the price you pay for being gone 36 weeks a year.
Could you imagine your wife just coming up to you and handing you her phone and then hopping on the couch like that for some Instagram shots?
Now, to be fair, his wife is also Samantha Busch, so I assume he just does what he’s told and builds up that husband credit as much as possible each and every day before nightfall.
Not a bad idea, if you ask me:
OK! Now, let’s wrap this up with some actual … NASCAR.
First up? Chase Elliott, who will win his 900th straight Most Popular Driver award in a few weeks, hopped on Twitter to tell us he had a bum wing after the season and needed to get it fixed.
He then went to the Georgia-Tennessee game with Bubba wand watched his Bulldogs beat the Vols like a drum.
Get will soon, Chase! I’ve had three shoulder surgeries in my life, for everything from a torn labrum to torn rotator cuff. No fun. Once woke up from a surgery so drowsy I swear someone screwed up with the anesthesia.
Seriously, I was literally flattened for the rest of the day. I’m talking HOURS after the initial surgery.
The only thing I remember — and this is 100% true — is waking up briefly in my living room a few hours after the surgery, turning and looking at my grandma on the couch across from me, and asking her where “they were racin’ this weekend?”
Don’t you dare tell me I ain’t a diehard NASCAR fan.
Finally, on our way out, did ya’ll know someone named Dale Earnhardt Jr. strapped it back in this weekend? True story. Junior ran the South Carolina 400 — a late model staple — over at Florence Speedway and brought her home 8th.
What a damn pro.
Anyway, here’s (Raise Hell, Praise) Dale on the way out. Along with Larry Mac, as always.
Happy Thanksgiving, animals.