Anheuser-Busch Apologizes To America By Giving Free Bud Light To Their Own Workers
Anheuser-Busch is finally making amends for the Dylan Mulvaney disaster -- by sending a free case of Bud Light to all of their employees.
Well, that's one way to apologize! Not the route I would've gone, but I digress.
According to a report from the Wall Street Journal, things are so bleak over at Mulvaney Light HQ that the folks in Damage Control are working overtime. Stocks are plunging, sales are in the tank, and distributors from all around the country are reportedly furious.
But hey, a free 30-rack of Bud Light should make it all go away.
“It sent shock waves through distributors,” Jeff Wheeler, vice president of marketing for Del Papa Distributing near Houston, told the WSJ.
He added that his staff has fielded “tons of phone calls from people being very hateful" in the wake of the Mulvaney fallout.
Bud Light and Anheuser-Busch continue to sink. (Photo by Drew Angerer/Getty Images)
Bud Light could lose top spot by end of year, expert warns
Very hateful people -- tisk tisk.
What a month for Bud Light and Anheuser-Busch, and the news just keep piling on. Sales are down nearly 30% for the week ending in April 22, while Miller and Coors are both skyrocketing. Yesterday, the St. Louis Post-Dispatch -- AB's hometown paper -- published an absolutely scathing story on the sinking giant.
And by that, I mean folks in the industry are sounding major alarm bells that Bud Light could lose it's top-selling beer label by year's end.
"I think it runs the risk of losing that No. 1 position at the end of calendar year 2023 to Modelo Especial," consultant Bump Williams told the paper. "Bud Light is in serious trouble."
Whoooooof.
Not to worry, though -- Anheuser-Busch distributors are getting free cases of Bud Light to ease the blow. I know Americans have demanded an apology from the beer giant for weeks now, and now we've finally got one.
Free beer for the Anheuser-Busch workers! We're sorry, America. Please forgive us.
And if that apology didn't move your needle, perhaps Bud Light's latest countrified commercial will float your boat?
Plenty of options on the table. Pick one!
“They didn’t need to take this risk,” one distributor told the WSJ, adding that he was worried the brand might now swing back in the other direction. “I lost my cowboy bars and now I could lose my gay bars, too.”
Kudos to Bud Light -- they're on the brink of now pissing off the right AND the left.
Perhaps this is what brings us all back together as a society?