Mother’s Day Gift Guide: What Moms Really Want (And What They Don’t)

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Gentlemen, Mother's Day is upon us.

Wait, wait — don't panic! Mother's Day is next Sunday, not this weekend. That means you still have some time to get your shit together. And that means coming up with something better than a half-assed card and some grocery store flowers.

Not that there's anything wrong with grocery store flowers. I have a bundle of delightful Kroger lilies on my dining room table right now. But on Mother's Day, she deserves a gift that requires extra thought. Something that says "I adore you, you magnificent woman" and not just "I am obligated to do something for you today."

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You guys love my gift guides. You crave them. I'm doing the Lord's work, I'm told, by providing you with a foolproof cheat sheet on how to spoil the lady in your life.

So you can bet your bottom dollar I won't let you down now.

CHECK OUT LAST YEAR'S MOTHER'S DAY GUIDE

I spent the last couple of weeks surveying moms of all ages and backgrounds to find out what it is they really want for Mother's Day. And I've condensed those answers into a handy-dandy gift guide, where you're guaranteed to find something the mother of your children — or your own mom — will love.

So if you do find yourself painstakingly perusing the picked-over greeting card aisle on Saturday, May 10, you have no one but yourself to blame.

Let's get to it.

The Overwhelming Consensus: Mama Needs A Break

When I surveyed moms about what they actually want for Mother's Day, the answer was unsurprisingly universal: REST.

Motherhood is a beautiful thing. But it's also exhausting.

Moms — especially ones with younger kids — aren't necessarily dreaming of jewelry or fancy brunches (although those are nice, too). What they really want is a little breathing room. A chance to relax without someone asking where their shoes are, needing a snack or having a meltdown because they got the blue cup instead of the red one.

Many moms told me they'd love nothing more than a quiet night alone in a hotel, a clean house they didn't have to scrub themselves or a full day when they aren't in charge of anyone’s meals, activities or bodily functions. In other words, they don't want more stuff. They want less chaos.

Here are a few experiential gifts that will help her relax, recharge and feel like the queen that she is:

  • Book her a night in a local hotel. And yes, this means you and the kids stay home. Let her sleep in, order room service and watch trashy reality TV in a plush robe without a single interruption.
  • Hire a professional house cleaner. A full-time maid might not be in the budget (Or maybe it is, in which case, what are you waiting for?), but many women said they'd love for a professional to come in and deep clean the whole house. That means the windows, the baseboards, the inside of the fridge — all the horrifying places she (rightfully) tries to ignore during a daily tidy-up. (HOT TIP: You'd get infinite bonus points if you booked this cleaner to come once a month.)
  • Plan a "day off" at home. You handle the kids, the meals, the chaos. She gets the remote, the cozy blanket, and a book she's been meaning to finish since 2021. Maybe run her a bubble bath and leave a bottle of wine next to the tub for good measure.
  • Send her to a spa for a massage, a facial or a mani-pedi. If you don't know what to book or how much it costs, call the spa and ask. It's not weird — my nail tech tells me husbands do this all the time. But don't put the burden of scheduling and arranging childcare on her. Either schedule the service for her in advance (on a day/time when you know she's available) or present her with a gift card and tell her to pick a time. You'll handle it (and the kids and the meals) from there.
  • Detail her car. Book a full-service car detailing (or save money and do it yourself) to get all the crunched-up Cheerios, mystery stains and stale coffee smells out of there. Bonus points if you have it done without her knowledge, so it's a surprise.
  • Arrange a girls' night out. If she’s been missing time with her friends, tell her she's hitting the town for dinner and drinks with the girls. Again, don't make her organize this. Talk to her friends to pick a day. If you know their husbands/boyfriends, even better! The ladies can go out, while y'all order pizza and watch movies with the kiddos.
  • Cook dinner and clean up afterward. Seriously, no "helping." You’re Gordon Ramsay now. Take charge of the whole thing. I'd argue this really isn't a gift — it's the least you can do on Mother's Day. But I'm including it just in case you have any dumb ideas that she should prepare her famous, scratch-made, 25-ingredient spaghetti and meatballs on the day that's supposed to be celebrating her.

Now, if you're more of a physical gifts kind of guy, we've got that covered, too.

Thoughtful Gifts She’ll Actually Want (And No, A Vacuum Doesn't Count)

When it comes to Mother's Day, remember the golden rule: the gift should be for her — not for the household, not for the family, not for the kids. Her.

That means no new vacuums, no kitchen gadgets, no "mama bear" soccer mom tote bags. Unless, of course, she specifically asked for one of these things.

A great Mother's Day gift shows that you see her as a person with her own hobbies, not just as the household manager. It should feel personal, thoughtful and chosen with her in mind.

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Gifts from the kids can be incredibly sweet — and whatever card, hand drawing or Popsicle stick project they want to make for her is wonderful. But if you're purchasing a gift "from the kids," make sure it's meaningful, not just more clutter destined for the junk drawer. A heartfelt, one-of-a-kind gift will mean far more than another generic "#1 Mom" coffee mug.

Here are some ideas, based on my survey results:

  • A piece of jewelry that's personal. This is a good one as a gift from young kids or teenagers. Think birthstone rings, a simple necklace engraved with the kids' initials or a bracelet featuring an important date, for example. Skip the tacky "MOM" bedazzled stuff unless she specifically loves it. (These birthstone bracelets and this initials necklace were specifically recommended to me.)
  • A subscription box tailored to her interests. Does she love wine? Books? Gardening? Gourmet chocolate? Arts & crafts? There’s a subscription box for everything these days. And it's the gift that keeps on giving — she gets to open something new every month!
  • A custom portrait of her kids or the family dog. A step up from the regular framed family picture. Tons of artists online will create hand-drawn or painted portraits from a photo. Obviously, this could be pretty pricey depending on the artist, but there are also websites, like Lime & Lou, which have several more affordable options to choose from. Personally, I love the pop art ones! I also love this:
  • A splurge item she would never buy for herself. Maybe it's that luxe spa-style bathrobe she's been eyeing, a designer bag, over-priced (yet insanely comfortable) slippers, Botox! Think about something that feels a little indulgent. (NOTE: Yes, multiple women told me they'd love to be treated to Botox or filler for Mother's Day. It is crucial, however, that you do not purchase your wife Botox unless she has, at some point, explicitly stated that she wants to get Botox.)
  • A "treat yourself" gift card. A medspa, a favorite clothing boutique, a bookstore — somewhere she loves. And something more thoughtful than grabbing the first gift card you see in the Walgreens checkout line.
  • Items that support her hobbies and goals outside of being a mom. Hiking gear, Pilates classes, pickleball lessons, craft supplies, gardening tools or seeds, whatever she's into! (A perfect example is the Hori Hori Garden Knife that Joe Kinsey purchased for Mrs. Screencaps this year.)

Pick something thoughtful, wrap it nicely and hand it to her with a kiss and a heartfelt "thank you." Easy peasy.

Friendly Reminders (In Other Words, How Not to Screw This Up)

Before we wrap up, a few quick reminders to make sure you knock this Mother's Day out of the park:

The age of the kids matters.

If you have small children, they cannot celebrate her without your help. They can't drive to Target. They can't make pancakes without setting off the smoke alarm. They certainly can't coordinate a spa day.
Which means it’s your job to step up and make the day feel special — not just hand over the sticky, glitter-covered card little Billy made at school and call it a win.

Yes, celebrate your mom — but don’t forget the mother of your children.

If your kids are still in the house, your wife is in the thick of motherhood right now. She is actively doing the hard work every single day. Your own mom will be touched by a card, a phone call and some flowers. And she should get those things. But your wife deserves a full-court press.

You are in charge of the kids.

For the love of all that is holy, do not drag your lady to a chaotic family cookout where she’s expected to chase the kids, prepare a side dish and help clean up — while you stand around the grill with a beer. Save that energy for Father’s Day.

And just to be clear, readers: I’m not suggesting that "mama needs ‘me’ time" because you’re a lazy husband or a negligent dad. I’m assuming you work hard. I’m assuming you’re doing your best, just like she is. But Mother’s Day is about going above and beyond to show her just how much you appreciate everything she does. That’s what makes it special.

The truth is, most moms don’t expect perfection — they just want to feel seen, loved and appreciated. Give her that this Mother’s Day.

And you know what? Go ahead and grab those grocery store flowers, too.

Womansplaining is a weekly column about dating, marriage, sex and relationships.

Email your thoughts, questions, stories and gripes to Amber.Harding@OutKick.com or tweet her @TheAmberHarding.