All That and a Bag of Mail

WASHINGTON, DC – DECEMBER 6: U.S. President Barack Obama addresses the country from the Oval Office on December 6, 2015 in Washington, DC. President Obama is addressing the terrorism threat to the United States and the recent attack in San Bernardino, California. (Photo by Saul Loeb-Pool/Getty Images) Half Length,Pool Getty Images North America

Before we get rolling with today’s mailbag, I love that my guys at OddsShark already have odds for who will be elected president in 2020. 

So here those are:

Donald Trump 2/1
Mike Pence 10/1
Paul Ryan 10/1
Michelle Obama 12/1
Tim Kaine 14/1
Elizabeth Warren 14/1
Cory Booker 20/1
Julian Castro 20/1
Hillary Clinton 20/1
Amy Klobuchar 20/1
Bernie Sanders 20/1
Joe Biden 33/1
Michael Bloomberg 33/1
Catherine Cortez Masto 33/1
Ted Cruz 33/1
Kirsten Gillibrand 33/1
Trey Gowdy 33/1
Nikki Haley 33/1
Kamala Harris 33/1
Marco Rubio 33/1
John Kasich 40/1
Jeb Bush 50/1
Tammy Duckworth 50/1
Martin O’Malley 50/1
Mitt Romney 50/1
Tom Brady 100/1
Chelsea Clinton 100/1
George Clooney 100/1
Mark Cuban 100/1
Leonardo DiCaprio 100/1
John Hickenlooper 100/1
Dwayne ‘The Rock’ Johnson 100/1
Chris Murphy 100/1
Rand Paul 100/1
Kanye West 100/1
Kevin Spacey 150/1
Jill Stein 300/1
Gary Johnson 500/1
Kim Kardashian 500/1
Vince McMahon 500/1 

My wife is convinced that the Rock needs to be our next president because he could unite everyone. Poor white people love him on the WWE. Minorities love him because they all think he’s one of them. (Seriously, I have no idea what the Rock’s ethnic background is, but he’s gotta be Cablinasian, right?) 

I have no idea what his politics are, but he’s well spoken, incredibly good looking, looks fantastic in a suit, and could beat the ass of any other president anywhere else in the world.

Plus, he’s a great actor so he’d play the role well.  

I can’t believe I’m saying this, but the country really does need the Rock.  

Also, if you’re also curious on whether or not Donald Trump will be impeached, odds on yes are 5-1. 

Okay, on to the mailbag. 

Mike Tews writes:

“My friends and I are all in our mid 20s, some single, some not. We were talking earlier this week (all from B1G country, Minneapolis to be exact, with one that now lives in Iowa), that we should hit up an SEC tailgate/game next fall as we’ve never experienced SEC football for the bachelor party. We love college football, so are all pretty bummed we haven’t made it to an SEC game yet.   

My friend is NOT getting married in the fall, because #dbap, so we are open to go any weekend.  

The only person who has a big allegiance to an SEC school is myself, I happen to be a big LSU fan, otherwise they could care less as long we get a great atmosphere, super hot chicks.

Any recommendations for northerners coming to a game and why?” 

I’d go to LSU at Alabama because it has basically become the South’s Super Bowl over the past seven or eight years. 

Other suggestions that combine pretty good games with cool venues:

Georgia at Florida in Jacksonville for the Cocktail Party. The downside here is you aren’t on a campus, the positive side is it’s an incredible game experience. 

LSU or Georgia at Tennessee

Auburn at LSU

LSU at Ole Miss

Alabama at Auburn

Having been to all stadiums and cities, I think the six best places to watch SEC football games while factoring in the city or town/tailgate experience, stadium, and just general ambience, in no particular order, are Georgia, Alabama, Ole Miss, Tennessee, Auburn and LSU.

John writes:

“If Donald Trump wakes up tomorrow and decides he feels like he best identifies with the female gender, would he not then become the first female president? And while we are at it, couldn’t he identify with the female gender while also being a lesbian? Which means he feels like a woman but remains attracted to his smokeshow wife? Then we would have the first lesbian president. So progressive.

Imagine the exploding heads of the PC Bromanis if this actually happened. What would they say? How could they eviscerate him without completely exposing their love of double standards? You have to admit it would be pretty epic to watch.”

The reaction to Trump announcing he’d always felt like a woman trapped in a man’s body and that henceforward he would be known as Donna would be unbelievable to watch unfold.  

Especially if he said that much of his aggressive masculine rhetoric had been because he’d always wanted to be a woman and felt like he had to overplay his masculine persona to override the way he felt inside. And even if he said that the reason he said he wanted to go grab a woman by the pussy was because he’d always wanted to have a pussy himself.

Which was why he was cutting his penis off. 

Can you imagine the reaction? Clearly, many conservative people who never liked Trump anyway would immediately ridicule him, but that response wouldn’t be anywhere near as hysterical to me as the PC Bromani community falling all over itself to embrace him. Also, would some segments of the Republican party also go full on PC bro to embrace him because they want to make sure he doesn’t try and get liberal supreme court justices on the court.

Everything about this would be spectacular.   

And then what if a month later Trump also announced that he’d always felt black so from this point forward he was not just going to be a woman, he was going to be a black woman. 

Then all the PC Bromanis would suddenly draw the line and say, “No, no, no! We were fine with him being Donna Trump because he was a man trapped in a woman’s body, but it’s completely unacceptable to change your race. You can’t do that. It’s offensive.”

Since I’m the King of Tolerance and I sit on the Iron Throne of Inclusion, I think if you can pick your gender, you should also be able to pick your race. 

That’s why I’m 1/32nd black. 

Kyle writes:

“How do you think the country and the left/right reacts if Trump is assassinated before? Also, does sending this e-mail put me on some kind of government list I don’t want to be on?”

You know what’s funny, there are a bunch of dudes who have emailed me before from the Secret Service, the NSA, the CIA and the FBI who absolutely love the Outkick mailbag. 

I’m not kidding about this, they say they pass around printed off versions of the mailbag to entertain each other with when they’re otherwise working on serious issues facing our country. 

So thanks to all of you guys for what you do. 

It gives me great enjoyment to think about somebody taking a break from plotting how to kill a leader of ISIS by reading the Anonymous Mailbag on the toilet in the CIA offices. 

So I’m sure you’re on their list now. 

But on to your question: if Trump is killed it matters a great deal who kills him. That is, is it a terror attack from a foreign entity or a crazy person in America? Any terror attack unites the country for the next several years. But if it’s a crazy person in America is it a white, black, Asian, Hispanic person of Middle Eastern descent or someone else? Are they citizens or non-citizens? How’d they get here and what’s the motivation for the killer?

The general reaction, I think no matter who the president or president-elect is, is that the country is outraged and comes together after an assassination. Because even in these highly politicized times an assassination brings the country together. 

But how long would that last if it were, say, a minority group that Trump had “disparaged”? Like three days?

Because inevitably someone on the far left would say, Tweet, or write that they weren’t justifying the assassination, but that they understand how the person who was the assassin felt. And that Trump’s comments were inappropriate and helped to fuel the rage that took his life. And then that would argument turn into a massive battle and before you know it the entire assassination would be political in nature.

The wild thing is all these protesters should desperately hope that Trump serves out his full term because Mike Pence is infinitely more conservative than Trump is. Do these protesters — 71% of all the protesters arrested in Portland didn’t even vote — realize that Trump is the most moderate Republican elected president since Teddy Roosevelt?  

And is it crazy of me to think that the Republicans might try to impeach Trump to get Mike Pence in as president so he can run as the incumbent in 2020? Could we get a “House of Cards” scenario here? I totally expect this to happen. 

Anoop writes:

“Clay,

In Nov 2013 I watched the Alabama-Auburn Kick Six game and immediately knew that my life as an AL football fan would never be the same. The next morning I came up with the matrix below and realized that the Kick Six game was a Tier 1 Loss. This past weekend, almost 3 years later, I found this matrix on my desktop again. I mean AL football has been dominant in the last 3 years, including a National Title last year…but the Kick Six will always be there – I’m still unable to watch it -always turning away or changing channels.

I believe that most sports fans will never experience a Tier 1 loss; they may have a Tier 2 or even a Tier 3 that seem like Tier 1, but aren’t.

I was curious on your perspective – have you gone through a Tier 1 Loss? If so, what percentage of sports fans have had one? What percentage do you think have had more than one?

Here’s my chart. 

Tier I. My God – my life as a sports fan has been irrevocably altered…
Impact Duration – Indefinite (likely forever)
(2013 AL-AU Kick Six Game, ’92 Duke-KY Laettner)

Tier II. We lost a huge game and it’s going to sting, but will somehow move on…
Impact Duration€“ 1-2 years
(Super Bowl 2015 – Seattle loss to NE – Butler pick)

Tier III. How in the world did we lose that game???
Impact Duration€“ 2-4 weeks
(’85 BC-Miami – Flutie Hail Mary)

Tier IV. Damn…better luck next game
Impact Duration – 24-48 hours (or until next win)
97% of all losses”

I love this concept.

I think I have two Tier 1 losses in my life as a sports fan. 

The first one was the 2001 SEC title game that Tennessee lost against LSU. If you guys recall that game, the Vols totally blew it. Win and you don’t just win the SEC title, but you also get to play for the national title against Miami in the BCS title game.

The other thing I would add to your category is that a loss can grow in pain if your team collapses in the years ahead. That is, the Tennessee loss to LSU is really the high water mark for Vol football over the past 15 years. So that loss has become even more painful in retrospect. On the day after the game it was painful, but you also thought, “Okay, we’ll probably be back here again.”

Only Tennessee hasn’t ever been back to that same national level. 

Given the stakes, it was brutal in 2001, but it’s arguably more brutal today than it was then.

Now, it didn’t have the sudden collapse factor like Alabama at Auburn, but Tennessee did blow a 17-7 lead and lose despite knocking LSU’s starting quarterback and running back out of the game.

It was just thoroughly inexplicable.

The second Tier 1 loss was the Tennessee Titans to the St. Louis Rams in the Super Bowl. (There were also three pretty crushing Titan losses in the playoffs, twice to the Ravens and once to the New England Patriots.) But that Super Bowl loss was crushing. You literally can’t come much closer to winning a title and the Titans haven’t been back close to that level in a long time.

Thankfully Mariota will win us multiple Super Bowls over the next decade and help to finally erase that pain. 

The Cleveland Indians just had a Tier 1 loss in baseball in the World Series to the Cubs.

As for how many fans will experience a Tier 1 loss, I think most fans will experience one in their lifetime, but it’s undoubtedly extremely rare.

I’d love to see an objective ranking of the toughest Tier 1 losses in modern sports history.

Will writes:

“Following up on your question from the Oregon alum living in Texas with an A&M husband/family, I have a similar but different scenario for you to consider and weigh in on. My buddy is a Georgetown grad who is married to a Virginia Tech girl and lives in Roanoke (30 minutes from Blacksburg). Her family are huge Hokies and also live in Roanoke; her dad is a big donor and booster, her brothers went there, her mom went there, etc. My friend grew up rooting for UVA and Notre Dame, but mostly ND, and kind of hated the Hokies. He’s the youngest of five by a good margin and had one brother that went to UVA and a sister, two brothers, and mom that went to ND. He was a HUGE Irish football fan growing up. He went to a game every year, had tons of gear, I can’t overstate how much he loved the Irish.

Since he got married a couple years ago and moved to Roanoke with his wife, we, his friends, have been noticing cracks in a stance he had taken against supporting the Hokies. At first he went to games wearing neutral colors, but now we are starting to see pics online with him in orange and maroon. We give him a ton of grief for this, but all in good fun. I don’t begrudge him going to the games and more or less going with the flow.

But now things have reached a head with VT about to travel to Notre Dame this weekend. His in-laws are all making a big trip, hitting up Chicago and the game, and he is going along. When I asked whether he was dusting off his old ND sweatshirt and irish newsboy cap (don’t ask), he said “I don’t think that will fly.” When I asked his wife how she’s going to feel about him rooting for the Irish, she said, “Oh, he’s only allowed to come if he wears Hokie colors and roots for Tech.” On pressing the issue, thinking she was joking, I realized she is dead serious. I think this is a line in the sand that has been drawn and he cannot cross it, less he lose all credibility.”

Your friend has become a total pussy. 

This is completely unacceptable behavior.

I am disgusted for him and on behalf of everyone else who just had to read this question. I hope Notre Dame beats Virginia Tech and he has to experience that loss while sitting in South Bend in his brand new Virginia Tech gear.  

Paul writes:

“Clay, Katie Nolan was on Drunk History the other week talking about Teddy Roosevelt and college football. Any chance you’d consider going on the show and dropping some Civil War knowledge? Given your love of Civil War history and drinking, this seems like it would be a no brainer for you and the show. If you did it, what story would you pick to tell and who would you like to act it out? Gettysburg? Antietam? The surrender at Appomattox? Maybe we could get the SEC coaches to play their counterparts from your story a few years ago. That would be solid gold…”

I would love to go on the show. 

I could honestly discuss any major battle or major war event in great drunken detail. 

But if I had to pick one moment, I think I’d go with The Battle of Franklin. I think it’s the most underanalyzed and written about major battle in the Civil War. 

That or Pickett’s Charge. Which, by the way, is the subject of a great new book I’m currently reading.

Hope y’all have outstanding weekends. 

And check out Outkick’s new national law firm if you get a chance, it’s right here. 

My husband and I have conversations about who is a hot celebrity and whenever he “wonders” if a female celebrity has naked pictures out there, I go on my phone and look them up and show him. Recently, such an event happened. I was about to show a friend something on my phone that I thought was funny and when I opened by browser, the naked search was there. I explained why they were there and she said I was crazy and that I shouldn’t be showing my husband stuff like that and NO other wife would ever do this kind of thing. I responded that he is likely looking at worse things anyway and that why shouldn’t I join in on the fun? She also thinks her significant other would NEVER disrespect her by looking at “such filth”. I disagreed.
 
What is your take here? Do other wives do this? Am I crazy? I happen to think she is delusional and that when she finds his secret browser with “such filth” on it, she will find herself very lonely.
 
By the way, great job on the show, the website, everything! You are killing it. And, you also owe your wife a new couch after letting the boys jump on it last night. #DBAP

Written by Clay Travis

OutKick founder, host and author. He's presently banned from appearing on both CNN and ESPN because he’s too honest for both.