A-Rod Is Going To Be Yelling At You About Your Teeth

Alex Rodriguez has gum disease.

At first I thought that meant he had gum cancer which would obviously be a huge deal. But, apparently I have no idea what gum disease actually is. So, here I am to do my noble deed and inform all of you what it entails.

Actually wait a minute, that's exactly what A-Rod's going to be doing as part of his new gig as a collaborator for Bausch Health Companies Inc and their OraPharma division. Oh, and he'll most likely be getting paid for it, because of course he is.

"Looks can be deceiving," the former Yankees third baseman told CBS. "I just recently went to see my dentist and not thinking anything about any gum disease. And the dentist tells me the news, and then I come to find out over 65 million Americans have this gum disease," the former boyfriend of Jennifer Lopez continued.

Even a person with these pearly-whites can have gum disease. Talk about a PSA.

A-ROD WAS A 14x ALL-STAR

According to the CDC (if you still trust them after their whole Covid response thing) nearly half of all adult Americans suffer from sort of gum disease, that usually begins after the age of 30 and is most prevalent in those over the age of 65. A-Rod is right in the middle of that now that he's 47.

Rodriguez said he has been diagnosed with early-stage gum disease and will be encouraging people to brush their teeth.

It's unclear how much A-Rod will be making as part of his new deal. Not to downplay gum disease because at times it can turn into something serious, but I can already tell you that whatever he's getting paid is too much.

A-ROD HAS A LOVE HIM OR HATE HIM RELATIONSHIP WITH FANS

Considering that A-Rod's the type of person that shows up at sporting events wearing a New York Yankees jacket, I wouldn't be surprised if we see him walking around holding a giant toothbrush everywhere. At times, Rodriguez comes across so desperate to be liked that I could totally see him thinking he is Hulk Hogan in the 80's and 90's telling kids to "eat their vitamins and say their prayers."

No word yet if A-Rod is going to use any sort of accent like Wilford Brimley (RIP) infamous Diabetes commercial. Get ready to see him in nonstop dental ads during his upcoming KayRod ESPN2 broadcasts though.

Written by
Mike “Gunz” Gunzelman has been involved in the sports and media industry for over a decade. He’s also a risk taker - the first time he ever had sushi was from a Duane Reade in Penn Station in NYC.