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2022 Woke All-Star Challenge Sweet 16 – Vote!

This article was co-authored by Joe Kinsey and Bobby Burack.

Welcome back to the 2nd annual Woke All-Star Challenge where we honor those sports media wokes who have gone above and beyond for the cause. Today, we vote on the Sweet 16 of Wokes.

During the play-in round, we saw Woj topple Mike Wilbon, failed TV and radio host Bomani Jones outwoke the Athletic Staff, Peter King slide by Jalen Rose, and Stan Van Gundy knock off Stan Verrett.

Let’s look at the next round:

Rex Chapman vs. Peter King

What a Sweet 16 matchup we have here between two titans of the industry. One loves to steal tweets and Apple products while the other guy cries about COVID and Braves fans packing a ballpark while he’s triple masked in his MMQB bunker.

Chapman is making his rookie debut while Peter is a No. 4 seed for the second consecutive year. In 2021, it was titan of the woke industry Pat Forde knocking out Peter. The matchup doesn’t get any easier as Rex is predicted by many to face wacko Keith Olbermann in the finals.

Moneyline odds as set by @BeatinTheBookie

Chapman -420

King +360

https://twitter.com/Outkick/status/1509258829518852104

Mark Jones vs. Maria Taylor

Two of the worst people in the business.

Let’s recap Mark Jones’ past year:

  • He cheered when 49ers linebacker Nick Bosa suffered a torn ACL. Jones thought Bosa deserved the injury because he supports Trump.
  • He then mocked UFC fighter Colby Covington, a known conservative, after he broke his jaw.
  • Jones asserted that police are more likely to shoot black people dead than escort them to safety and that he would therefore refuse the standard police escort to a college football game afforded to some members of the media.
  • Last spring, he falsely claimed during an NBA game that Jacob Blake was “unarmed” when police shot him in 2020.
  • Next, Jones celebrated Rush Limbaugh’s death by promoting tweets telling Limbaugh to “rot in hell.“

Mark Jones is a sick person, but so is Maria Taylor.

ESPN offered to pay Taylor $5 million a year, $4 million a year more than her market value. Taylor said no, that she wanted $8 million because she was ESPN’s most valuable on-air talent.

When ESPN didn’t comply, Taylor’s team tried to extort money from the network by releasing a year-old privately-recorded audio clip of Rachel Nichols. In the video, Nichols correctly pointed out that ESPN factored in that Taylor was black and she was white in the decision to name Taylor the new host of the NBA Finals.

Yet, somehow, Taylor thought that made ESPN look racist against black people. So she tried to paint her bosses as racist to get more money. Taylor cost Nichols her job in the process.

A mediocre talent using her race to get paid. Pathetic.

Moneyline odds as set by @BeatinTheBookie

Jones -145

Taylor +110

Mina Kimes vs. Stan Van Gundy

ESPN uses Mina Kimes like a former football player. She sits up at the desk with Marcus Spears and Dan Orlovsky to break down football games. She’s also an untouchable. 

If you dare question Kimes’ credentials, her co-workers will quickly try to destroy you on Twitter. They protect her, they don’t think she can handle criticism.

Only two people have ever criticized Mina Kimes. One was former NFL QB Jeff Garcia. The woke mob took care of him. The other was some random burner account called Charles Brown. Kimes said the account was being mean to her, so her co-workers got him too.

Kimes is a spoiled brat who’s hellbent on convincing you she’s a victim of bullying. It pays better to be a victim than an overachiever, after all.

Moneyline odds as set by @BeatinTheBookie

Kimes +110

SVG -120

Ryan Clark vs. Dan Wolken

Clark is in a bad spot here against one of the most powerful No. 2 seeds in Woke All-Star Challenge history (it’s the second year). Dan Wolken made the Final Four in 2021 and even took out cop hater Mark Jones in the Elite Eight. That’s the kind of pull Wolken has within the woke community. He’s just that hated.

Clark’s done his best to mix it up with Clay and mix it up in the world of race and sports, but will it be enough to take down Wolken? We’ll see, but the feeling here is that Clark is a year or two away from making waves in the Woke Challenge.

Moneyline odds as set by @BeatinTheBookie

Wolken -500

Clark +375

Keith Olbermann vs. Bomani Jones

This showdown could have been the finals.

Over the past year, Olbermann blamed Dave Portnoy and Barstool for a Michigan school shooting, said the U.S. should restrict vaccine access from Texans, called for Tucker Carlson’s arrest, spread misinformation about Ashli Babbitt, and canceled his failing YouTube show.

These days, the deranged nut is sending MSNBC unsolicited, 5,000-word emails begging for a job. Hilariously, MSNBC said no.

Standing in the other corner is Bomani Jones, the most privileged man in sports media. After failing on ESPN radio and television, HBO agreed to pay him seven figures to host a late-night show on Sundays following John Oliver.

Who is Jones’ target audience? We can’t say for certain, because no one knows. Jones’ show, Race Theory, is one of the lowest-rated programs of all-time.

So far, Jones is losing 80% of his lead-in’s viewership, failing to chart, and losing to 2 am infomercials in the ratings.

I guess blaming white people for all problems in America, as Jones did earlier this year, isn’t a good business move.

Moneyline odds as set by @BeatinTheBookie

Olbermann -950

Bomani +690

Mike Florio vs. Pat Forde

When the brackets were revealed, many people couldn’t believe that Pat Forde could fall off the No. 1 seed line, but that’s just how powerful the woke community has become. Pat, who is so woke that he won’t stand up to transgender males taking away swimming achievements from biological females, including his daughter, finds himself in what could be vote recount against Florio, who won his first round battle in 2021 as a No. 3 seed.

This is the type of competition Florio lives for and you know he has his eyes on an Elite 8 battle against Olbermann.

Moneyline odds as set by @BeatinTheBookie

Florio -360

Forde +250

Woj vs. Rovell

Woj is having a rough time. Being woke will do that to you.

A year ago, he shilled for the Chinese Communist Party by sending Sen. Josh Hawley a “fuck you” email after Hawley challenged the NBA’s silence on human rights violations in China. ESPN suspended Woj for that tantrum.

In April, Woj lied about police officers in a column he posted. Woj falsely claimed that Jacob Blake was unarmed when police shot him. However, Blake himself admitted he had a knife that day, information that we all had months before Woj’s column.

What a tool he is.

Moneyline odds as set by @BeatinTheBookie

Rovell -225

Woj +170

Max Kellerman vs. Elle Duncan

Max Kellerman, a white man, rails against white privilege. He counts how many white dudes get drafted, just to make sure there are not too many. Yet, his white privilege cost him a job on First Take, as ESPN chose Stephen A. Smith, the black guy, over him.

Kellerman apologized for his white skin color and ESPN didn’t accept his apology.

Elle Duncan, a Jemele Hill wannabe, is as creepy as she is woke. Recently, Elle Duncan interrupted a college basketball game to express her anger that teachers can’t talk to very young children about sex and gender identity. Take a look:

https://twitter.com/burackbobby_/status/1504918938983014400

Concerning behavior.

When Duncan is not angling for third graders to talk about sex, she’s busy determining who is and is not the right kind of black. Last year, Duncan forced ESPN to kick Sage Steele off of a social justice special because Steele is not “black enough.”

What a sick person she is.

Moneyline odds as set by @BeatinTheBookie

Kellerman / Duncan pickem

Written by Bobby Burack

Bobby Burack covers media, politics, and sports at OutKick.

9 Comments

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  1. This is a tough tournament to call. Everyone in this tourney is a hand job of the highest order. A group of despicable human beings. However, next year you might want to include the bosses at ESPN.

  2. This is great stuff. As mentioned in other comments Olberman/Jones this early feels criminal, and Forde taking a dump on his own daughter’s lifelong goals may be the single worst act of the bunch. There are no winners here, but I will be interested to see how it shakes out.

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