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While OutKick’s bulldog college football journalists Trey Wallace and Glenn Guilbeau are out on the highways of America hunting down the straight news, it’s my duty to slide into the DMs of Vols superfan OnlyFans model Sara Blake Cheek to check her pulse.
For those of you who are new around here, and there are hundreds of thousands of you, Sara Blake Cheek ($12/mo. on OnlyFans) isn’t going to give readers coach-speak. Whether it’s calling Coach Cal a “bum”, or unloading on Karens who had her kids kicked off sports teams because of her career, Sara Blake is all gas, no brake.
For example, Blake came out firing off warning shots at the hated Kentucky Wildcats fans who think they’re the next big breakout team in the SEC East.
“Will Levis reads defenses the same way he eats fruit, wrong,” Cheek said in her opening salvo. “My message to the copycats is to make sure you’re watching tonight on a high-def TV, so you can see what a real checkerboard looks like.”
This OnlyFans mom wasn’t done there. She was just getting fired up. Go off!
“It’s football time in Tennessee! I know it, you know it, and your mama knows Josh Heupel is building a freaking powerhouse,” Sara wrote via the DMs.
The Vols are coming off a 7-6 season that ended with a wild 48-45 loss to Purdue in the Music City Bowl. One thing is clear from the Heupel era, if you like points this program is headed in the right direction. Now, it might not always be the Vols scoring all the points, but the OVER is in deep danger on a weekly basis.
“Kirby is shaking in his hobnailed boots, Shane Beamer still has Mayonnaise running down the crack of his ass, Eli’s return of the Jedi undies are squeezing off his circulation, Mark Stoops is losing a wrestling match with Calipari, Billy Napier is sitting on the turnover ridden shoulders of AR15 or whatever his name is now, and Vandy wishes the season ended right now after the huge win over the rainbow warriors,” Sara Beth continued.
“Best case scenario Volunteers go 11-1 and steal one from Bama or Georgia. Worst case is 5 and 7, but the only way this happens is if something happens to Hendon and we have to depend on Joe Milton’s overthrowing ass.”
Like Cleveland Browns and Texas Longhorns fans, Vols fans are always thinking this is the year when they’re BACK. Let’s be realistic here. What would a satisfying season look like in Heupel’s second year after the mess he was left with by Jeremy Pruitt in 2020 when the Vols won just three games?
“The expectations for this year are to beat the ones you are supposed to beat and compete with Bama and Georgia. Also 100% participation from Vol Nation on my OnlyFans. Go Vols!” Sara Blake concluded.
Spoken like a true fan with her head on straight who knows how to conduct business in 2022. That’s why we love Sara around here. She brings the heat, answers her DMs in a timely manner & it’s always a party. She’s the best & even mows the grass at her house!
The action gets rolling tonight when Ball State brings MACtion into Neyland Stadium for a 7 p.m. ET kick on ESPN.
Buckle up. College football IS BACK.