Target Hires Pride Strategist Who Vows To 'Make Trouble,' Debuts Rainbow Nutcrackers For Christmas

Remember Target? Well, everyone's favorite tuck-bathing suit store is BACK with a humdinger just in time for the holiday season.

Grab your pride-themed nutcracker and take a seat, because this one is a DOOZY from the wokest retailer in all the land.

More on the nutcrackers here in a bit. But first ... meet Erik Thompson, also known as the Gay Cruella on Instagram (duh), who is Target's new LGBTQIA+ (say that 10 times fast!) multicultural merchandising strategy and Pride businesses leader.

And to you suburban moms who thought Target had decided to tone it down just a hair after selling tuck bathing suits over the summer, guess what? Erik here is vowing to "make trouble" on Day 1.

Happy Holidays!

Target extends Pride month into Christmas even though stock plummets

What a time to be alive. Just when you thought Target and Bud Light had learned their lessons and maybe just backed off a tad, BAM -- here comes the big red bullseye with one hell of a hire right at the start of the Christmas season.

Seriously, how dumb can they get? I said it back in May when Target first got caught red-handed trying to groom kids by displaying pride clothes and tuck bathing suits right in their section, and I'll say it again today ...

Does Target know who their base is? Apparently not, so I'll let the cat out of the bag. It's moms. Suburban moms. I know, because I've got a family full of them, and they all went to Target like it was church.

I say went because they stopped right around the same time everyone else with half a brain and an ounce of morals stopped going. And yes, plenty of them stopped going because Target's stock price fell faster than Enron for about three months after the Pride controversy.

How bad was it? I don't know, does a loss of $15 billion -- yep, with a b -- sound bad? Shares the week before the ridiculous displays and suits hit the stands were around $161 bucks a pop. A week later, the retailer had lost $9 billion. Two months later, that number rose to around $15 billion.

And guess what? They wanna tell you it's recovered, but it hasn't. You know what Target's stock price is today? $130, and that's a MASSIVE gain from what it was a month ago when it sank dangerously close to the double-digits.

Here ya go, for those wondering what woke nonsense gets you:

Nice work!

And now, just when you thought maybe Target was out of the woods -- that maybe the moms would let their guards down around Christmas because someone needs a new cute door mat -- they go and up the ante with he/him Erik.

As if that wasn't enough -- and you can never go too woke in 2023, so it's not -- the store is also breaking out some more controversial pride items just in time for Christmas.

The good news? These have nothing to do with your kids' clothes or bathing suits. Gold star!

Quick, who had pride nutcrackers on their 2023 Bingo card?! Frankly, everyone should have their hand raised if you've been paying attention at all this year.

Again, though, at least it's out of the kid's section -- for now. I haven't been in a Target in months, so I have no clue what they're cooking for the next few months.

But with Erik on the scene vowing to make trouble, I can't wait to find out.

Tis the season!

Written by
Zach grew up in Florida, lives in Florida, and will never leave Florida ... for obvious reasons. He's a reigning fantasy football league champion, knows everything there is to know about NASCAR, and once passed out (briefly!) during a lap around Daytona. He swears they were going 200 mph even though they clearly were not.