Top 5 Best Naps: The Masters, Death & A Beach Hangover
Once again, the Masters is upon us and, along with some great action on the greens, comes something that I am very excited about — napping.
As every sports fan knows, the Masters tournament is one of the most beautiful, cathartic, relaxing catch-ups on sleep that, let's be honest, we all need. The combination of Jim Nantz's voice, the sound of the birds (whether real or fake)and the overall atmosphere of Mother Nature doing what she does best is the perfect setup for that glorious nap that, no matter when you take it, will allow you to still wake up in time for the ending because Sunday's coverage goes forever.
But, is The Masters nap the BEST one of all? Let's break it down with My Top 5 Napping Opportunities.
5. DEATH
Sorry to be so morbid on a Friday, but one time someone said, "Rest easy," when a family member of mine passed away, and it really hit me that I guess death is just a really long nap. And as someone who loves napping, I guess death is up there, so long as we eventually wake up to something awesome like a giant rave in Heaven with Frank Sinatra crushing whiskey and Hank Williams decimating some Budweisers.
So, I'm calling you out at No. 5, Death!
4. THANKSGIVING
This one may get me in some trouble and stir up a good argument, but I'm not a HUGE nap guy on Thanksgiving. Maybe it's because I'm too busy focusing on (winning) all my football bets or my house is just chaos with nieces and nephews and people running around or the inevitable political arguments and someone yelling about the rolls being burnt because they were left in the oven too long. Thanksgiving Day can be a lot.
And yes, I know that it might sound sacrilegious, but the Thanksgiving nap did not break my Top 3 naps. Who knows, maybe I'm just stronger than that Turkey Tryptophan that puts the rest of y'all to sleep!
3. THE BEACH / POOL HANGOVER
How many times have we all said we're going to "sweat out this hangover," as we shuffle ourselves to the beach or head out to the pool?
The summer hangover nap after a rager of a night is one of the ultimate naps. You wake up, everyone asks each other, "WTF happened last night," and you slowly get ready to make your way to the beach. Shortly after all the small-talk is finished, one-by-one, everybody starts passing out, except usually for some girl who is reading a book about "finding their better self." But for the rest of us, that beach hangover nap is glorious.
Just be sure to put on sunscreen!
Once you're done with your nap, you go back to the beach house, shower up, make some happy-hour cocktails and get ready to do the same damn thing all over again! That is pure living.
2. SCHOOL SNOW DAY
As someone who grew up in the northeast, I truly feel bad for anyone who never had a school snow day, because believe me - it was AWESOME.
Back when I was growing up (at the risk of sounding old) there was a designated phone chain for students' families when school would be called off. Basically, once the principal or the superintendent made the call, they would phone so-and-so, and down the line it went.
But I kid you not, there was NOTHING BETTER than already being in bed and being told that there was no school that day. It's the ultimate freedom - so many possibilities for what you'd be able to do. Think of how happy the kids are in that old school animated Frosty the Snowman movie. It's because they literally had a snow day from school and definitely not because of a magical snowman that danced and sang Christmas songs.
1. THE MASTERS
Now truth be told, I'm not a huge golf guy.
But the beauty of the Masters weekend is, it doesn't even matter because naps know no boundaries. (How about that for a play on words?!)
As I mentioned above, there are a ton of reasons why the Masters Sunday afternoon nap is a hole-in-one. Between the hours of 2-4pm, I'd bet that there are thousands of men taking that hard-earned and well-deserved nap. In fact, if I were Apple, I would have done a campaign to look at people's resting cycles during Masters Sunday and make a promotional campaign out of it. (I'll take my 15% for that brilliant idea, Apple. Thank you very much!).
Whether it's a short power nap of about 25 minutes or an all-out, full REM cycle 2-hour nap, this is THE nap. The Masters wraps up on Sunday, which is the day of rest for a reason.
WHAT DO YOU THINK ABOUT MY NAP RANKINGS? TWEET ME YOUR LIST: @TheGunzShow