Snoop Dogg Is An Honorary Olympic Coach (Whatever That Means), So Who Should Be Next?

The Olympics are just a couple of months away, and as has become the tradition in recent years (for some reason), Snoop Dogg will be a big part of the Games.

However, instead of just covering the Games for NBC, this time around, the Doggfather has been named the first-ever honorary Olympic coach.

…yeah, I'm not really sure what that entails either.

A lot of people on the Internet hated this idea, but then again, if you dig deep enough, you'll find people who hate an adorable video of a puppy sneezing.

I quite like this idea. I quite like this idea a lot.

I mean, it's an honorary position; therefore, it doesn't mean anything. It's not like with the women's hockey gold medal on the line, Snoop is going to hop over the glass and draw up a play for the ensuing O-zone faceoff.

No, he'll just be in the crowd stoned out of his gourd, having the time of his life.

That's awesome!

I was thinking about who should be the next honorary Olympic coach and for what events, so here's my short list for the 2030 Games.

Having Emilio Estevez — Gordon Bombay from <i>The Mighty Ducks </i>films — on hand as an honorary coach would be so perfect. (Getty Images)

Emilio Estevez - Hockey

How cool would it be to have Gordon Bombay behind the bench for Team USA?

I'll tell you, very.

I mean, look at the success he had leading Team USA at the Junior Goodwill Games in D2: The Mighty Ducks.

You've got to hand it to a guy who won over perennial international hockey powerhouses like Trinidad & Tobago and Iceland.

I think everyone would get a kick out of this. Like, the team would score, and they'd cut to Emilio, and he'd be like, "Hey, how about that?"

Electric.

It's the kind of energy that would carry the men's and women's teams to the medal round on vibes alone.

You wouldn't be able to keep Tom Cruise from bombing down the luge track. (Photo by Gilbert Flores/Variety via Getty Images)

Tom Cruise - All Sliding Sports

I always look forward to sliding sports, which, for the layperson, include bobsledding, luge, and skeleton.

I love them. They're fast, intense, and it cracks me up that Skeleton is just luge flipped around and with a much more badass name.

So, who better to honorarily lead us on this front than Tom Cruise?

…

…exactly; nobody!

If I know Tom the way I think I do — his friends call him TC, by the way — he'd be itching to take a spin and go bombing down the course with the kind of reckless abandon that would make the sphincters of movie producers the world over clench.

Jewel has been on a heater and it could continue at the Olympics. (Photo by Amy E. Price/Getty Images)

Jewel - Anything She's Willing To Show Up To; I Don't Care

I mean, did you see those pictures?!

Will Ferrell And Jon Heder - Figure Skating

You may be realizing that there's a trend with my honorary coach selections: movies are a large factor.

Well, if we need some figure skating honorary coaches, how could it not be Chazz Michael Michaels and Jimmy MacElroy — Will Ferrell and Jon Heder, respectively — from the 2007 comedy Blades of Glory.

I think of all the options I've thrown out, these two would be the first to jump on it. Will Ferrell doesn't throw away opportunities to do some bits, and I think we don't see nearly enough Jon Heder. Remember that run he had with Napoleon Dynamite, Benchwarmers, and Blades of Glory?

Let's see if we can't get him some heat, and maybe that leads to Napoleon Dynamite 2.

I must know what became of Kip and LaFawnduh.