Magic Johnson Provides Another Bland Analysis Of Commanders' Loss To Giants

It’s official: Magic Johnson is the blandest sports commentator in existence.

The NBA legend tweeted his disappointment with the Washington Commanders after an ugly 14-7 loss to the New York Giants on Sunday. You might be thinking, why in the world would Johnson care about one of the worst franchises in the NFL?

Well, he has his reasons. Roughly $242 million of them.

That’s how much Johnson paid for a share in D.C’s football team, which is shockingly only a four percent share. So when his team does poorly, he does what every disgruntled fan does after a loss. He vents on social media.

But his “vents” don’t read like someone who’s angry. They read like someone who is mildly disappointed at the outcome and who possesses little to no knowledge about the game.

Here’s his expert “analysis” of the game.

Wow, consider me enlightened! How is it that Magic Johnson is the first guy to notice that scoring one touchdown normally doesn’t get you wins? Someone get this guy in the Sunday Night Football booth.

This isn’t the first time Johnson has shared the depths of his football insight with the rest of the world. After the Commanders lost 40-20 to the Chicago Bears (no, that’s not a typo), Johnson ripped apart his team in equally bland fashion.

The Commanders next face the Philadelphia Eagles next Sunday, which could mean another ugly loss for Washington. Johnson is probably typing out a draft for his thoughts on the game as we speak. That make sense, because art like his analyses can’t be rushed.