It's Time To Bury The NBA Slam Dunk Contest

Here lies the NBA Slam Dunk Contest (1976-2026), gone too soon.

After receiving a terminal diagnosis of "sucking too bad for too long," the contest was taken out behind the shed and given two in the back of the head.

It was preceded in death by the Skills Competition and survived by the 3-Point Contest.

Seriously, how could anyone have watched this garbage last night and still wanted it to continue?

Let's break down a few of the more "memorable" dunks, shall we?

READ: Damian Lillard’s All-Star Weekend Invite Shows How Little the Event Still Means

We will start with this "gem" from Orlando's Jase Richardson, whose attempt can only be described as committing self-CTE.

That's going to leave a mark or two!

Not to be outdone, Los Angeles Lakers big man Jaxson Hayes, likely not wanting to scramble his brain meat like Richardson, threw down maybe one of the most ordinary dunks the committee has seen since the early 80s.

That certainly was a dunk, alright!

While there's nothing special about a dunk while jumping from the edge of the restricted area (people do that in game all the time), it's even less impressive when you consider Hayes is a legit 7-footer.

That's why we never put big men in the Dunk Contest (except for Dwight Howard, that rocked).

What makes it even worse is that Hayes posted to his Instagram comparing his dunk to Michael Jordan's leap from the free-throw line in the 1987 contest.

Yeah, I'm just going to ignore that before I get even more triggered than I already am.

And finally, we get to the winner.

Keshad Johnson, a forward from "my" Miami Heat, won the whole damn thing by throwing down a windmill dunk from the middle of the restricted area and then dancing like a TikTok influencer.

Truly inspiring stuff.

And anyone who says the Dunk Contest is only boring because we've seen every dunk imaginable has a very limited imagination and also forgets that we just saw a generational run from Mac McClung.

The now-Chicago Bull is the three-time reigning Slam Dunk Contest and threw down some of the most impressive dunks we've ever seen.

McClung had this thing on life support, but tonight may have just unplugged the machine.

We used to watch people jump over cars, over mascots, even go between the legs from the free throw line.

But now, we are stuck with concussions and TikTok dances.

The public opinion is aligned as well. Everyone hates the Slam Dunk Contest.

We are one more failed All-Star Weekend away from Adam Silver canceling the whole thing and implementing another in-season tournament.

You know what, on second thought, let's keep the Dunk Contest.

If that's the only thing saving us from more meaningless regular season tournaments, then just keep it.

Welcome to the NBA in 2026, folks.